A little over a year ago, I wanted to get in the best shape of my life. And so I did. The culmination of this desire was my participating in, and completing, my first race ever. I loved the experience of the half marathon: the joy of the crowd, the thrill of the race itself, and the exhilaration of finishing.
In a cruel twist of irony, a few days after the race, I saw myself in a few photographs. Were my first thoughts “Kristin! Look at you! You ran a half marathon!” or “Good for you, girl!” or “You met your goal! Way to go!” Unfortunately, no. When I saw myself in those photos, all I could think about was how fat my behind was. Here I was, in the best shape of my adult life, having just run 13.1 miles, and I was still “feeling fat.”
I knew that my “feeling fat” was a demand for emergency intervention, and here are some that interventions that have worked for me:
1.Ramp up your self-care. Know that “feeling fat” is, in reality, a call for compassion, gentleness, self-care, and self-love. Indulge yourself in things that bring you pleasure, in things that make feel good. What makes you happy? Is it long, luscious bubble baths? Is it delicious, nutritious food? Is it filling your mind with positive, uplifting ideas, messages, and thoughts? Consider what makes you happy, and then do it!
2. Call a friend. Indulge yourself in the sympathetic, empathetic support of people who love you and care about you and who understand. Having supportive people in your corner makes all the difference. People love to be needed and to be helpful, so don’t hesitate to ask for what you want from your friends the next time you’re “feeling fat.”
3. Pay attention to reality rather than fiction. Know that little voice inside your head is lying to you. It’s not telling you the truth. Contemplate, affirm aloud, and write down what you know, in your heart, to be true.
4. “Feeling fat” is temporary. Like all feelings, it will soon pass.
And remember that “feeling fat” is simply a fantastic opportunity for you to learn more about how to love and accept yourself in a deep and profound way.
Up Next: Thoughts On Commitment
Friday, May 29, 2009
Changing Your Thinking
If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard these encouraging words, “Don’t diet. Change your lifestyle instead,” I’d be rich. In fact, wasn’t my blog from yesterday called Change Your Lifestyle? I know, in my heart, that small, subtle changes in lifestyle can lead to profound changes in our bodies.
But before we can ever change our lifestyle, we must change our thinking.
Before we can ever change our behavior, we must change what we think about our selves and say to ourselves.
Before we can ever change our bodies, we must change what goes on in our heads!
Diets fail us because they fail to address the root cause of the problem. They address food and exercise, but many diets do not address the emotional component of our relationship to food. Most diets don’t ask us to examine how we think about ourselves and our bodies, and so consequently, because we haven’t made profound internal changes, the external changes are, in many cases, short-lived. Diets fail us because they lead us into a cycle of deprivation and bingeing but they do not teach us how to change our view of our bodies.
And when we change how we view our bodies, then everything changes. Our food choices change. Our activity level changes. But first, we need to change our thinking.
Up Next: Emergency Interventions, or What to Do When You Feel Fat
But before we can ever change our lifestyle, we must change our thinking.
Before we can ever change our behavior, we must change what we think about our selves and say to ourselves.
Before we can ever change our bodies, we must change what goes on in our heads!
Diets fail us because they fail to address the root cause of the problem. They address food and exercise, but many diets do not address the emotional component of our relationship to food. Most diets don’t ask us to examine how we think about ourselves and our bodies, and so consequently, because we haven’t made profound internal changes, the external changes are, in many cases, short-lived. Diets fail us because they lead us into a cycle of deprivation and bingeing but they do not teach us how to change our view of our bodies.
And when we change how we view our bodies, then everything changes. Our food choices change. Our activity level changes. But first, we need to change our thinking.
Up Next: Emergency Interventions, or What to Do When You Feel Fat
Changing Your Lifestyle
As I was sorting through some papers the other night, I came across this. Haven’t we all been there?
Portia Nelson’s Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
i
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost--I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
ii
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
iii
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. . . . It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
iv
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
v
I walk down another street.
Up Next: Changing Your Thinking
Portia Nelson’s Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
i
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost--I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
ii
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
iii
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. . . . It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
iv
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
v
I walk down another street.
Up Next: Changing Your Thinking
When the Going Gets Tough. . .
Ten tips for when the going gets tough:
1. Have a list. I was 26 . My father had died unexpectedly. I entered therapy. And my therapist said, “Make a list of things that make you happy.” That was one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received.
2. Have a pleasure plan for bad days. I have yet to meet a person who is free from suffering. I have yet to meet a person who has never had a bad day. I have yet to meet someone who leads an idyllic life. We all have days when the unexpected happens. We all have days when challenges arise. Expect challenges, and have a strategy (or pleasure plan) for dealing with them.
3. Treat yourself gently. Sometimes I think that we’re harder on ourselves than anyone else is.
Sometimes the most ruthless voice we hear is the one inside our own heads. When your inner critic voices her opinion, silence her with gentleness--and a bubble bath. Treat yourself kindly. Treat yourself compassionately. Treat yourself with respect.
4. Look at how far you’ve come. Consider everything you’ve achieved in your life. Think about what it took to make those things happen. Acknowledge the skills and tools and talents it took to accomplish what you’ve accomplished. Be proud of what you’ve done!
5. Enjoy food. This does not mean to eat mindlessly. This means to eat what will bring you the most pleasure in a way that will bring you the most pleasure.
6. Touch something soft. This could be a feather, or the fur of your pet, or a piece of velvet. Enjoy the pleasure that your sense of touch can give you.
7. Listen to something beautiful. Never underestimate the power of sound to transform your mood and shift your perspective, whether it’s birds, Bowie, Britney, or Bach.
8. Sniff your favorite scent. And this doesn’t necessarily have to come from a perfume bottle. Maybe it comes from lilac bushes, or a scented candle, or onions and garlic, or. . .
9. Observe the beauty that is around you. It is always there. Sometimes we just have to look for it.
10. Be grateful. I remember Oprah Winfrey, years ago, speaking of her gratitude journals. I thought at the time, “Sounds good, but I’ve gotta finish my dissertation and empty the cat boxes. I’ll get around to gratitude later.” Then a decade or so later, I got around to gratitude. What I learned? Contemplating--and being grateful for--the good in my life is one of the most effective ways to handle a so-called bad day.
When the going gets tough, get grateful.
Up Next: Changing Your Lifestyle
1. Have a list. I was 26 . My father had died unexpectedly. I entered therapy. And my therapist said, “Make a list of things that make you happy.” That was one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received.
2. Have a pleasure plan for bad days. I have yet to meet a person who is free from suffering. I have yet to meet a person who has never had a bad day. I have yet to meet someone who leads an idyllic life. We all have days when the unexpected happens. We all have days when challenges arise. Expect challenges, and have a strategy (or pleasure plan) for dealing with them.
3. Treat yourself gently. Sometimes I think that we’re harder on ourselves than anyone else is.
Sometimes the most ruthless voice we hear is the one inside our own heads. When your inner critic voices her opinion, silence her with gentleness--and a bubble bath. Treat yourself kindly. Treat yourself compassionately. Treat yourself with respect.
4. Look at how far you’ve come. Consider everything you’ve achieved in your life. Think about what it took to make those things happen. Acknowledge the skills and tools and talents it took to accomplish what you’ve accomplished. Be proud of what you’ve done!
5. Enjoy food. This does not mean to eat mindlessly. This means to eat what will bring you the most pleasure in a way that will bring you the most pleasure.
6. Touch something soft. This could be a feather, or the fur of your pet, or a piece of velvet. Enjoy the pleasure that your sense of touch can give you.
7. Listen to something beautiful. Never underestimate the power of sound to transform your mood and shift your perspective, whether it’s birds, Bowie, Britney, or Bach.
8. Sniff your favorite scent. And this doesn’t necessarily have to come from a perfume bottle. Maybe it comes from lilac bushes, or a scented candle, or onions and garlic, or. . .
9. Observe the beauty that is around you. It is always there. Sometimes we just have to look for it.
10. Be grateful. I remember Oprah Winfrey, years ago, speaking of her gratitude journals. I thought at the time, “Sounds good, but I’ve gotta finish my dissertation and empty the cat boxes. I’ll get around to gratitude later.” Then a decade or so later, I got around to gratitude. What I learned? Contemplating--and being grateful for--the good in my life is one of the most effective ways to handle a so-called bad day.
When the going gets tough, get grateful.
Up Next: Changing Your Lifestyle
The Key to Weight Maintenance?
The key to maintaining your weight? Keep doing everything you did while you were releasing weight.
We get there and then we let down. We become less vigilant in our choices. We become more casual in our efforts. We go a little soft on our desires. And we become less committed and less focussed on our goals because we’ve hit that magic number. Then the weight starts to creep back on, and the number on the scale starts to edge up. Why? Because we revert back to our old ways of doing things, and more profoundly, we revert back to our old ways of thinking. We look at “losing” weight as something that we’ll do for a while, until we get what we want, and then we’ll be through with the struggle once and for all. And when we get to where we think we want to be, we may forget that it’s a continuing journey, a journey with no destination. . .
In my opinion, the crux of pleasurable weight release and pleasurable weight maintenance is being highly aware of what you think, being very sensitive to how you talk to yourself, and being hyper-vigilant about what you say to yourself when you look in the mirror.
What is important is what you tell yourself about your worthiness and your deservingness. And then be committed to that outcome every single day. Renew that commitment every morning as you get out of bed, make coffee, brush your teeth, and progress through your day.
Please note that I’m not using the words “will power.” Pleasurable weight release has nothing to do with will power! Pleasurable weight release is not about forcing and mandating and disciplining and punishing yourself when you fall off the wagon. Pleasurable weight release is about committing yourself, each day, to answering this question: “What will bring me the most pleasure?”
When we consider what will bring us pleasure, then we start to move in the direction of pleasure. And moving toward something fun (releasing and maintaining a healthful weight) is a lot more satisfying than moving away from something that’s painful (misery and self-loathing).
The key to maintaining a healthful weight? Keep infusing your thinking and behavior with pleasure and love! And keep asking and answering the question, “What will bring me the most pleasure?”
Up Next: When the Going Gets Tough
We get there and then we let down. We become less vigilant in our choices. We become more casual in our efforts. We go a little soft on our desires. And we become less committed and less focussed on our goals because we’ve hit that magic number. Then the weight starts to creep back on, and the number on the scale starts to edge up. Why? Because we revert back to our old ways of doing things, and more profoundly, we revert back to our old ways of thinking. We look at “losing” weight as something that we’ll do for a while, until we get what we want, and then we’ll be through with the struggle once and for all. And when we get to where we think we want to be, we may forget that it’s a continuing journey, a journey with no destination. . .
In my opinion, the crux of pleasurable weight release and pleasurable weight maintenance is being highly aware of what you think, being very sensitive to how you talk to yourself, and being hyper-vigilant about what you say to yourself when you look in the mirror.
What is important is what you tell yourself about your worthiness and your deservingness. And then be committed to that outcome every single day. Renew that commitment every morning as you get out of bed, make coffee, brush your teeth, and progress through your day.
Please note that I’m not using the words “will power.” Pleasurable weight release has nothing to do with will power! Pleasurable weight release is not about forcing and mandating and disciplining and punishing yourself when you fall off the wagon. Pleasurable weight release is about committing yourself, each day, to answering this question: “What will bring me the most pleasure?”
When we consider what will bring us pleasure, then we start to move in the direction of pleasure. And moving toward something fun (releasing and maintaining a healthful weight) is a lot more satisfying than moving away from something that’s painful (misery and self-loathing).
The key to maintaining a healthful weight? Keep infusing your thinking and behavior with pleasure and love! And keep asking and answering the question, “What will bring me the most pleasure?”
Up Next: When the Going Gets Tough
Madonna Sweats
I admit it. My tastes run more in the realm of Mozart than Madonna. And I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no pop culture expert.
However, I found myself with some time on my hands a few nights ago, and I stumbled upon Madonna’s 2005 documentary, “I’m Going to Tell You A Secret,” on YouTube. And I watched a good deal of it. And made a profound discovery.
Madonna sweats.
Included in this documentary is a scene where she complains to one of her assistants about her stinky costume.
And this got me to thinking.
Now, normally, I don’t give a lot of thought to celebrities and the hygienic state of their costumes. But I was thinking that it was cool that Madonna sweats. Sweating is good. Sweating means that you’re working. Hard.
Sometimes we think that life should be “easy,” and if we are considering releasing weight through pleasure, we want that to be “easy,” as well. Sometimes we resist working. Sometimes we resist putting out the effort and energy to get the results we want. Sometimes we think that those results should just happen magically, effortlessly, and “easily.”
In creating show after show after show on her tour, Madonna exerted so much physical energy that she stunk up one of her costumes. However, the joy and satisfaction that she derives from her work I’m sure makes the exhaustion and sweat worth it. Likewise, the creation of what we want in our lives requires exertion, effort, and commitment. However, the joy and satisfaction that we derive from loving our bodies definitely makes the physical exhaustion and sweat worth it, too.
If Madonna can sweat and produce amazing results, so can you!
Up Next: The Key to Weight Maintenance
However, I found myself with some time on my hands a few nights ago, and I stumbled upon Madonna’s 2005 documentary, “I’m Going to Tell You A Secret,” on YouTube. And I watched a good deal of it. And made a profound discovery.
Madonna sweats.
Included in this documentary is a scene where she complains to one of her assistants about her stinky costume.
And this got me to thinking.
Now, normally, I don’t give a lot of thought to celebrities and the hygienic state of their costumes. But I was thinking that it was cool that Madonna sweats. Sweating is good. Sweating means that you’re working. Hard.
Sometimes we think that life should be “easy,” and if we are considering releasing weight through pleasure, we want that to be “easy,” as well. Sometimes we resist working. Sometimes we resist putting out the effort and energy to get the results we want. Sometimes we think that those results should just happen magically, effortlessly, and “easily.”
In creating show after show after show on her tour, Madonna exerted so much physical energy that she stunk up one of her costumes. However, the joy and satisfaction that she derives from her work I’m sure makes the exhaustion and sweat worth it. Likewise, the creation of what we want in our lives requires exertion, effort, and commitment. However, the joy and satisfaction that we derive from loving our bodies definitely makes the physical exhaustion and sweat worth it, too.
If Madonna can sweat and produce amazing results, so can you!
Up Next: The Key to Weight Maintenance
Eating and Emotions
“Am I hungry or am I stressed?”
“Am I famished or am I frustrated?"
“Am I starving or just bored?”
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger. Sometimes food and feelings get so jumbled up in our minds that we can’t really sort them out.
And it doesn’t help that from infancy on, we’ve connected food with love, warmth, comfort, security, satisfaction, even happiness.
However, if find yourself caught up in a craving for cinnamon rolls, or chocolate, or ice cream, and you can even stop to ask yourself these questions, celebrate that!
Even if you choose eat after you’ve determined that you’re not truly physically hungry, take enormous pride in the fact that you stopped to consider what was pushing you toward food. Remember that physical hunger will always be satisfied by food. But if you’re emotionally hungry, no food on the planet will fill you up.
Up Next: Madonna Sweats
“Am I famished or am I frustrated?"
“Am I starving or just bored?”
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger. Sometimes food and feelings get so jumbled up in our minds that we can’t really sort them out.
And it doesn’t help that from infancy on, we’ve connected food with love, warmth, comfort, security, satisfaction, even happiness.
However, if find yourself caught up in a craving for cinnamon rolls, or chocolate, or ice cream, and you can even stop to ask yourself these questions, celebrate that!
Even if you choose eat after you’ve determined that you’re not truly physically hungry, take enormous pride in the fact that you stopped to consider what was pushing you toward food. Remember that physical hunger will always be satisfied by food. But if you’re emotionally hungry, no food on the planet will fill you up.
Up Next: Madonna Sweats
Write It Down!
What do Jim Carrey, Suze Orman, and Dilbert creator Scott Adams have in common?
They all wrote down what they wanted to have happen before it happened!
Cool, huh?
In Write It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want--and Getting It! Dr. Henriette
Anne Klauser briefly relates the stories of each of these celebrities. Jim Carrey wrote a check to himself for ten million dollars. Scott Adams wrote, “I will be the best cartoonist on the planet.” And Suze Orman wrote, “I am young, powerful, and successful, producing at least $10,000 a month.”
In my own life, I have seen the power--and the results--of writing down my goals, visions, and deepest desires. In February, 2008, I examined what I wanted for my life and for my body. I knew I was was not where I wanted to be. I weighed more than was healthful. I had little energy, and I deeply desired to do things differently. And so I wrote down what I wanted to have happen before it happened!
Everything that I desired for my body I wrote down. But I didn’t stop with just writing down my desires. I typed them up, printed them out, taped them into my daily planner, and carried them around with me. I reviewed them from time to time throughout the day. And when I was faced with a decision (“Should I eat that slice of pizza? Or should I go for a walk?” or “Should I eat that huge cookie that magically appeared in front of me? Or should I chomp on the apple I brought with me?”), I found myself, more often than not, choosing the behavior that aligned more closely with what I had written down.
And the fun part? Each one of those desires became reality.
And here’s what I learned: If you want something to happen in your life, write it down!
Up Next: Eating and Emotions
They all wrote down what they wanted to have happen before it happened!
Cool, huh?
In Write It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want--and Getting It! Dr. Henriette
Anne Klauser briefly relates the stories of each of these celebrities. Jim Carrey wrote a check to himself for ten million dollars. Scott Adams wrote, “I will be the best cartoonist on the planet.” And Suze Orman wrote, “I am young, powerful, and successful, producing at least $10,000 a month.”
In my own life, I have seen the power--and the results--of writing down my goals, visions, and deepest desires. In February, 2008, I examined what I wanted for my life and for my body. I knew I was was not where I wanted to be. I weighed more than was healthful. I had little energy, and I deeply desired to do things differently. And so I wrote down what I wanted to have happen before it happened!
Everything that I desired for my body I wrote down. But I didn’t stop with just writing down my desires. I typed them up, printed them out, taped them into my daily planner, and carried them around with me. I reviewed them from time to time throughout the day. And when I was faced with a decision (“Should I eat that slice of pizza? Or should I go for a walk?” or “Should I eat that huge cookie that magically appeared in front of me? Or should I chomp on the apple I brought with me?”), I found myself, more often than not, choosing the behavior that aligned more closely with what I had written down.
And the fun part? Each one of those desires became reality.
And here’s what I learned: If you want something to happen in your life, write it down!
Up Next: Eating and Emotions
What Will Bring You the Most Pleasure?
We live in a work-a-day world. We work out. We work hard. We work up a sweat. We work at relationships. We work at losing weight. We work at eating healthfully. We work, work, work.
But how often do we consider joy, or think about happiness, or ponder what will actually bring us pleasure? The concept of pleasure, however, is one of the key principals to falling in love with your body and releasing weight that no longer serves you.
Just asking the question, “What will bring me the most pleasure?” focusses you. The simple act of pausing to consider pleasure brings you one step closer to creating a loving relationship with your body! Just thinking about this idea helps you prioritize things and gives you a clear focus.
The question “What will bring me the most pleasure?” was one I asked myself when I began to consider becoming more physically active. I knew that weighing 45 pounds above what was healthful for me was not bringing me pleasure. I knew that sitting all day was not making me feel good. I knew that eating lots of high-fat fast food was not making me happy. And I knew I needed to do something differently.
And I began to consider what would actually bring me the most pleasure. While eating a bag of chips and a pop from the vending machine would bring me a certain kind of pleasure, I knew that it would not bring me the most pleasure. And while sitting at my desk at work for hours on end did provide me with some level of pleasure, I knew that what would bring me the most pleasure would be to get up out of my chair and go for a walk when I had the opportunity.
And that walk did, indeed, bring me the most pleasure. For that 30-minute walk evolved into an hour-long walk. That hour-long walk evolved into a 20-minute run/walk combo. That run-walk combo evolved into running a half marathon. And running that half marathon was one of the most pleasurable experiences of my life.
As you move toward developing a loving relationship with your body, and as you release weight in the process, keep this thought in mind: “What will bring me the most pleasure?”
Up Next: Write It Down!
But how often do we consider joy, or think about happiness, or ponder what will actually bring us pleasure? The concept of pleasure, however, is one of the key principals to falling in love with your body and releasing weight that no longer serves you.
Just asking the question, “What will bring me the most pleasure?” focusses you. The simple act of pausing to consider pleasure brings you one step closer to creating a loving relationship with your body! Just thinking about this idea helps you prioritize things and gives you a clear focus.
The question “What will bring me the most pleasure?” was one I asked myself when I began to consider becoming more physically active. I knew that weighing 45 pounds above what was healthful for me was not bringing me pleasure. I knew that sitting all day was not making me feel good. I knew that eating lots of high-fat fast food was not making me happy. And I knew I needed to do something differently.
And I began to consider what would actually bring me the most pleasure. While eating a bag of chips and a pop from the vending machine would bring me a certain kind of pleasure, I knew that it would not bring me the most pleasure. And while sitting at my desk at work for hours on end did provide me with some level of pleasure, I knew that what would bring me the most pleasure would be to get up out of my chair and go for a walk when I had the opportunity.
And that walk did, indeed, bring me the most pleasure. For that 30-minute walk evolved into an hour-long walk. That hour-long walk evolved into a 20-minute run/walk combo. That run-walk combo evolved into running a half marathon. And running that half marathon was one of the most pleasurable experiences of my life.
As you move toward developing a loving relationship with your body, and as you release weight in the process, keep this thought in mind: “What will bring me the most pleasure?”
Up Next: Write It Down!
Staying the Course Over Rough Terrain
We begin, for the umpteenth time, a new weight loss* program or start a new diet. We are excited and passionate and can’t wait for results. This time it will “click.” This time will be different. This time we will finally achieve the body (and life?) of our dreams.
Maybe we say, “I’m going to use my willpower! I’m going to use my self-discipline! I’ll say ‘No’ to all the bad foods! And I’ll lose this weight for good.”
And then life gets in the way. And instead of our jeans getting looser, they get tighter.
What to do? What to do? What to do?
Here are a few tips:
TIP ONE: Have a Pleasure Plan for bad days. Know that “bad” days are normal. Know that you’re not perfect. Know that things may not always work out the way you think they should. But know that you can put pleasure into any situation.
For example, I knew that I had to have a Pleasure Plan for exercise. I knew that getting up and getting out and moving my body was not going to come naturally or easily. So my Pleasure Plan included ways to make walking fun. So, on my walks, I decided to take great pleasure in the gorgeous neighborhoods, the trees, the flowers, the cats, the bunnies, the squirrels, the goats, the ponies, the lambs, the camels, the peacock (I live near a children’s zoo), the kids, the men, and the women I encountered. Making the decision to experience pleasure before I headed out the door made me want to keep heading out the door!
TIP TWO: Lose the idea of “willpower” and “self-discipline.” Instead, focus “commitment” and “belief.” Here are a few ways I refocused certain thoughts:
“I just don’t have any willpower” became “I’m committed to loving my body by moving it!”
“Where’s my self-discipline?” became “I am filled with belief that I am headed in the right direction.”
“I hate to exercise!” became “My body thanks me every time I move it!”
“I just can’t say no to any kind of food” became “I only eat foods that I really, really like.”
TIP THREE: Know that you’re in this for the long haul (the rest of your life). Expect that some days will be easier then others. Enjoy and relish the easy days. And slow down and be gentle with yourself when you encounter rough terrain.
Know that developing a great relationship with your body is a life-long journey, and enjoy the trip!
*I prefer to replace the word “loss” with “release”.
Up Next: “What Will Bring You the Most Pleasure?”
Maybe we say, “I’m going to use my willpower! I’m going to use my self-discipline! I’ll say ‘No’ to all the bad foods! And I’ll lose this weight for good.”
And then life gets in the way. And instead of our jeans getting looser, they get tighter.
What to do? What to do? What to do?
Here are a few tips:
TIP ONE: Have a Pleasure Plan for bad days. Know that “bad” days are normal. Know that you’re not perfect. Know that things may not always work out the way you think they should. But know that you can put pleasure into any situation.
For example, I knew that I had to have a Pleasure Plan for exercise. I knew that getting up and getting out and moving my body was not going to come naturally or easily. So my Pleasure Plan included ways to make walking fun. So, on my walks, I decided to take great pleasure in the gorgeous neighborhoods, the trees, the flowers, the cats, the bunnies, the squirrels, the goats, the ponies, the lambs, the camels, the peacock (I live near a children’s zoo), the kids, the men, and the women I encountered. Making the decision to experience pleasure before I headed out the door made me want to keep heading out the door!
TIP TWO: Lose the idea of “willpower” and “self-discipline.” Instead, focus “commitment” and “belief.” Here are a few ways I refocused certain thoughts:
“I just don’t have any willpower” became “I’m committed to loving my body by moving it!”
“Where’s my self-discipline?” became “I am filled with belief that I am headed in the right direction.”
“I hate to exercise!” became “My body thanks me every time I move it!”
“I just can’t say no to any kind of food” became “I only eat foods that I really, really like.”
TIP THREE: Know that you’re in this for the long haul (the rest of your life). Expect that some days will be easier then others. Enjoy and relish the easy days. And slow down and be gentle with yourself when you encounter rough terrain.
Know that developing a great relationship with your body is a life-long journey, and enjoy the trip!
*I prefer to replace the word “loss” with “release”.
Up Next: “What Will Bring You the Most Pleasure?”
On "Getting There"
Here’s the deal: You never really “get there.”
We set a goal to lose weight. And we attack that goal with focus, determination, commitment, enthusiasm, passion, vigor, and fun . We begin to pay attention. We pay attention to the food we put in our mouths. We pay attention to how much food we put in our mouths. And we pay attention to moving our bodies more.
Then the magical day comes, and we achieve the amazing number we’re seeking, either the number on the scale, or the number on the inside of the waist band of a pair of jeans.
We enjoy the moment. We feel amazing. We feel great. We feel powerful.
And then what happens?
We quit paying attention. In many cases, we may quit doing all the things that helped us achieve the new number on the scale or the new size of clothing, because see “losing weight” as a temporary and short-term goal, rather than viewing it as a life-long commitment to a healthy body.
I know in my heart that developing a healthy relationship with my body is a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life. There is no destination. There’s no finish line. There is no end-point. And I’ll never “get there.”
The secret to maintaining a healthful weight? Continue to pay attention to your body. Continue doing all the things that helped you achieve that weight. It’s a journey. It’s a life-long activity. It’s a process that never ends.
Once you achieve the body weight you’re seeking, the only way you maintain it is to continue to do all the things you did while you were “getting there.” It’s really about going the distance.
And in this case, the distance is the rest of your life!
Up Next: Staying the Course over Rough Terrain
We set a goal to lose weight. And we attack that goal with focus, determination, commitment, enthusiasm, passion, vigor, and fun . We begin to pay attention. We pay attention to the food we put in our mouths. We pay attention to how much food we put in our mouths. And we pay attention to moving our bodies more.
Then the magical day comes, and we achieve the amazing number we’re seeking, either the number on the scale, or the number on the inside of the waist band of a pair of jeans.
We enjoy the moment. We feel amazing. We feel great. We feel powerful.
And then what happens?
We quit paying attention. In many cases, we may quit doing all the things that helped us achieve the new number on the scale or the new size of clothing, because see “losing weight” as a temporary and short-term goal, rather than viewing it as a life-long commitment to a healthy body.
I know in my heart that developing a healthy relationship with my body is a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life. There is no destination. There’s no finish line. There is no end-point. And I’ll never “get there.”
The secret to maintaining a healthful weight? Continue to pay attention to your body. Continue doing all the things that helped you achieve that weight. It’s a journey. It’s a life-long activity. It’s a process that never ends.
Once you achieve the body weight you’re seeking, the only way you maintain it is to continue to do all the things you did while you were “getting there.” It’s really about going the distance.
And in this case, the distance is the rest of your life!
Up Next: Staying the Course over Rough Terrain
How to Listen to Your Body
Easier said than done, right? Indeed, our bodies are always talking to us. But how often to we really pay attention to what they’re saying?
My biggest challenges occur when I ignore the messages my body sends me. Here are a few things that my body says to me from time to time:
“Move me!”
“Let me rest!”
“Give me peace!”
“Give me action!”
“Feed me.”
“Stop feeding me!”
“Stretch me!”
“Ice me!”
“Massage me!”
I find that the more I listen to my body, and the more I do what she says, the happier I am, the more energy I have, and the better I feel. So if you feel disconnected from your body, here are a few tips to establish a fantastic connection to her.
TIIP ONE: Master the fine art of curiosity. I began my weight-release journey basically out of curiosity. I began to think, “I wonder what would happen if I got in the best shape of my life.” “I wonder how I would feel if I started eating really, really well.” “I wonder what would happen if I really figured out this exercise thing.” “I wonder what would happen if I started saying loving, compassionate things to myself.” And as I became curious about “what would happen if. . .” my body responded to my curiosity in miraculous ways.
TIP TWO: Master the fine art of appreciation. Last Sunday, after the race, and after the requisite cold soak, I thanked my body with a warm soak--in delightfully warm water, Epsom salts, and lavender oil. And as I was soaking in a tub full of warm water, I poked, prodded, dug around in, and massaged my calf muscles vigorously. And while I massaged them, I thanked them for carrying me through to the finish line. I thanked them for being strong and healthy for the past several months. And I thanked them for allowing me to experience the simple pleasure of running.
TIP THREE: Ask your body what she wants. She will always tell you if you ask her. Does she want more rest? Does she want to eat more healthful food? Does she want to be outdoors more? Does she want more time alone? What does your body really, really want?
Be curious about your body.
Appreciate your body.
Ask her to talk to you And when she talks, listen!
Up Next: On “Getting There”
My biggest challenges occur when I ignore the messages my body sends me. Here are a few things that my body says to me from time to time:
“Move me!”
“Let me rest!”
“Give me peace!”
“Give me action!”
“Feed me.”
“Stop feeding me!”
“Stretch me!”
“Ice me!”
“Massage me!”
I find that the more I listen to my body, and the more I do what she says, the happier I am, the more energy I have, and the better I feel. So if you feel disconnected from your body, here are a few tips to establish a fantastic connection to her.
TIIP ONE: Master the fine art of curiosity. I began my weight-release journey basically out of curiosity. I began to think, “I wonder what would happen if I got in the best shape of my life.” “I wonder how I would feel if I started eating really, really well.” “I wonder what would happen if I really figured out this exercise thing.” “I wonder what would happen if I started saying loving, compassionate things to myself.” And as I became curious about “what would happen if. . .” my body responded to my curiosity in miraculous ways.
TIP TWO: Master the fine art of appreciation. Last Sunday, after the race, and after the requisite cold soak, I thanked my body with a warm soak--in delightfully warm water, Epsom salts, and lavender oil. And as I was soaking in a tub full of warm water, I poked, prodded, dug around in, and massaged my calf muscles vigorously. And while I massaged them, I thanked them for carrying me through to the finish line. I thanked them for being strong and healthy for the past several months. And I thanked them for allowing me to experience the simple pleasure of running.
TIP THREE: Ask your body what she wants. She will always tell you if you ask her. Does she want more rest? Does she want to eat more healthful food? Does she want to be outdoors more? Does she want more time alone? What does your body really, really want?
Be curious about your body.
Appreciate your body.
Ask her to talk to you And when she talks, listen!
Up Next: On “Getting There”
The Real Meaning of Diets
Diets. . .
. . . teach us that we’re wrong.
. . . make us unworthy of eating food that we enjoy.
. . . encourage us not trust ourselves.
. . . deprive us of what we want.
. . . make us feel stupid--like we can’t choose for ourselves.
. . . bring on binges.
. . . bring on feelings of failure.
. . . help us gain weight.
Pleasure. . .
. . .teaches us that we can eat what we want when we want it--because we’re paying attention to what our bodies are truly hungry for.
. . . teaches us that we are worthy of eating foods that we enjoy.
. . . encourages us to trust our desires and encourages us to pay attention to our physical bodies.
. . . allows us to eat what we want.
. . . brings on feelings of satisfaction.
. . . brings on feelings of success and accomplishment and joy.
. . . helps us release weight because we trust what our bodies are telling us.
Up Next: How to Listen to Your Body
. . . teach us that we’re wrong.
. . . make us unworthy of eating food that we enjoy.
. . . encourage us not trust ourselves.
. . . deprive us of what we want.
. . . make us feel stupid--like we can’t choose for ourselves.
. . . bring on binges.
. . . bring on feelings of failure.
. . . help us gain weight.
Pleasure. . .
. . .teaches us that we can eat what we want when we want it--because we’re paying attention to what our bodies are truly hungry for.
. . . teaches us that we are worthy of eating foods that we enjoy.
. . . encourages us to trust our desires and encourages us to pay attention to our physical bodies.
. . . allows us to eat what we want.
. . . brings on feelings of satisfaction.
. . . brings on feelings of success and accomplishment and joy.
. . . helps us release weight because we trust what our bodies are telling us.
Up Next: How to Listen to Your Body
In Praise of True Nourishment
Sometimes I think the biggest health problem in our society isn’t obesity. Sometimes I think it’s starvation. We are overfed physically, but we’re starving emotionally.
Sometimes, when we eat, we aren’t really hungry for food at all. Sometimes, when we eat. .
. . . we’re hungry for love.
. . . we’re hungry for understanding.
. . . we’re hungry for comfort.
. . . we’re hungry for laughter.
. . . we’re hungry for connection.
. . . we’re hungry compassion.
. . . we hungry for action.
. . . we’re hungry for peace.
. . . we’re hungry for appreciation.
. . . we’re hungry for attention.
. . . we’re hungry for companionship.
. . . we’re hungry for solitude.
. . . we’re hungry for affection.
. . . we’re hungry for time.
I adore chocolate (see previous blog called Chocolate). But chocolate can’t hug me, or listen to me, or laugh with me, or cry with me.
Every day, I work hard to distinguish between physical hunger and non-physical hunger. My physical hunger can only be satisfied by food. And my non-physical hunger can only be satisfied by love, understanding, comfort, laughter, connection, compassion, action, peace, appreciation, attention, companionship, solitude, affection, time. . .
What are you hungry for?
Up Next: “The Real Meaning of Diets”
Sometimes, when we eat, we aren’t really hungry for food at all. Sometimes, when we eat. .
. . . we’re hungry for love.
. . . we’re hungry for understanding.
. . . we’re hungry for comfort.
. . . we’re hungry for laughter.
. . . we’re hungry for connection.
. . . we’re hungry compassion.
. . . we hungry for action.
. . . we’re hungry for peace.
. . . we’re hungry for appreciation.
. . . we’re hungry for attention.
. . . we’re hungry for companionship.
. . . we’re hungry for solitude.
. . . we’re hungry for affection.
. . . we’re hungry for time.
I adore chocolate (see previous blog called Chocolate). But chocolate can’t hug me, or listen to me, or laugh with me, or cry with me.
Every day, I work hard to distinguish between physical hunger and non-physical hunger. My physical hunger can only be satisfied by food. And my non-physical hunger can only be satisfied by love, understanding, comfort, laughter, connection, compassion, action, peace, appreciation, attention, companionship, solitude, affection, time. . .
What are you hungry for?
Up Next: “The Real Meaning of Diets”
How Can I Love My Body?
That’s the big question, isn’t it? How can I love my body, when it’s scarred and wrinkled and freckly and fat?
We’re not taught how to in school. We can’t learn it by reading women’s magazines. TV and newspaper ads don’t give us much guidance. And I don’t see a lot of support for women adoring their bodies from various religious communities.
What women learn from these various institutions is how to loathe their physical selves, and how to de-value their bodies, how to distrust their physical appetite, and how to perform, act, be, and look a certain way in hope of achieving a certain result. But we’re not taught how to love our bodies.
We knew, when we were young, how to love our physical selves. Babies and toddlers are fascinated with their bodies. They giggle with delight and pleasure when you tickle their toes, play with their fingers, and teach them to make faces and stick out their tongues. Babies take pleasure in their physicality. Unfortunately, as we mature, we move further and further and further away from our physical selves, and eventually many of us replace the love we had for our bodies with self-loathing, self-hatred, misery.
How can we reclaim a connection with our physicality? How can we re-learn to love our bodies?
Here are few suggestions:
LIVE A SENSUAL LIFE. Although the word “sensual” may hold “sexual” connotations for some, I am using the word “sensual” to mean the five senses. Use and enjoy power of your five senses! This spring, I have been enjoying the variety of sounds that birds make as they wake up up in the morning. I’ve been inhaling the fragrance of flowering trees and shrubs. I’ve been loving the softness of my cat’s fur. I’ve been enjoying the sparkling sweetness of fresh strawberries. And I’ve been relishing the taste of fresh-ground coffee in the morning.
LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR FAVORITE BODY PART. What part of your body do you like? Is it your hair? Is it the color of your eyes? Is it the shape of your mouth? Is it your skin? Take a minute or two to really think about what you like about your body. Want extra credit? Take out a pencil and a piece of paper and write it down.
LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR LEAST-FAVORITE BODY PART. This isn’t always easy to do. Your body is a total package, whole and complete in itself, and it wants you to love it--all of it--even the parts are “too fat” or “too droopy” or “too wrinkly” or “too this” or “too that.” As you come to accept and like and appreciate and acknowledge every part of your physical self, you may come to accept and like and appreciate and acknowledge every part of your life.
And that’s where true pleasure begins.
Up Next: “In Praise of Nourishment”
We’re not taught how to in school. We can’t learn it by reading women’s magazines. TV and newspaper ads don’t give us much guidance. And I don’t see a lot of support for women adoring their bodies from various religious communities.
What women learn from these various institutions is how to loathe their physical selves, and how to de-value their bodies, how to distrust their physical appetite, and how to perform, act, be, and look a certain way in hope of achieving a certain result. But we’re not taught how to love our bodies.
We knew, when we were young, how to love our physical selves. Babies and toddlers are fascinated with their bodies. They giggle with delight and pleasure when you tickle their toes, play with their fingers, and teach them to make faces and stick out their tongues. Babies take pleasure in their physicality. Unfortunately, as we mature, we move further and further and further away from our physical selves, and eventually many of us replace the love we had for our bodies with self-loathing, self-hatred, misery.
How can we reclaim a connection with our physicality? How can we re-learn to love our bodies?
Here are few suggestions:
LIVE A SENSUAL LIFE. Although the word “sensual” may hold “sexual” connotations for some, I am using the word “sensual” to mean the five senses. Use and enjoy power of your five senses! This spring, I have been enjoying the variety of sounds that birds make as they wake up up in the morning. I’ve been inhaling the fragrance of flowering trees and shrubs. I’ve been loving the softness of my cat’s fur. I’ve been enjoying the sparkling sweetness of fresh strawberries. And I’ve been relishing the taste of fresh-ground coffee in the morning.
LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR FAVORITE BODY PART. What part of your body do you like? Is it your hair? Is it the color of your eyes? Is it the shape of your mouth? Is it your skin? Take a minute or two to really think about what you like about your body. Want extra credit? Take out a pencil and a piece of paper and write it down.
LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR LEAST-FAVORITE BODY PART. This isn’t always easy to do. Your body is a total package, whole and complete in itself, and it wants you to love it--all of it--even the parts are “too fat” or “too droopy” or “too wrinkly” or “too this” or “too that.” As you come to accept and like and appreciate and acknowledge every part of your physical self, you may come to accept and like and appreciate and acknowledge every part of your life.
And that’s where true pleasure begins.
Up Next: “In Praise of Nourishment”
More Race Reflections
In the past few days, I’ve made some discoveries about myself and my body, thanks to the Half Marathon.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1.13.1 miles is a long way to run. But forty-five pounds ago, the idea of running a Half Marathon would not have registered on my radar screen. Now I’m planning for the next one. . . maybe 25.2?
2.Pace yourself. Patience may indeed be a virtue, and it’s certainly not one of mine. Running long distances teaches you patience.
3.Listen to your body. I started to feel really good about two to three miles into the race, and so I picked up my speed. And as I ran faster, I passed people.
4.Enjoy the experience of passing people. I discovered on Sunday that I really like to pass people. Especially on hills.
5.Sprint at the end. Lengthen your stride. Increase your speed. And crank it out.
6.Rest. Your body will thank you. We live in a culture that reward and promotes production, and so consequently, many of us are stingy with sleep. We’re so busy, we have so many demands on our time, that sometimes the only way to get everything done is to neglect our sleep. However, in training for this race, I’ve discovered that getting plenty of sleep is crucial.
7.Enjoy the crowd. Enjoy the spectators. Enjoy the cheers, yells, hollers, and whoops. Our supporters make a big difference.
8.Think about what you have accomplished, not what you haven’t accomplished. Because of a leg issue in January, I was not able to run with my class for several weeks. But going into the race Sunday, rather than thinking, “I missed 5 long runs with the class,” I thought, “I ran 10 miles just a few days ago. I’m gonna be fine.”
As I wind down from the race, I continue to be grateful for the many things I’ve learned about my mind and my body during the past few months. The biggest thing I’ve learned, though, is this: every day I have the chance to run is a day I feel blessed.
Up Next: “How Can I Love My Body?”
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1.13.1 miles is a long way to run. But forty-five pounds ago, the idea of running a Half Marathon would not have registered on my radar screen. Now I’m planning for the next one. . . maybe 25.2?
2.Pace yourself. Patience may indeed be a virtue, and it’s certainly not one of mine. Running long distances teaches you patience.
3.Listen to your body. I started to feel really good about two to three miles into the race, and so I picked up my speed. And as I ran faster, I passed people.
4.Enjoy the experience of passing people. I discovered on Sunday that I really like to pass people. Especially on hills.
5.Sprint at the end. Lengthen your stride. Increase your speed. And crank it out.
6.Rest. Your body will thank you. We live in a culture that reward and promotes production, and so consequently, many of us are stingy with sleep. We’re so busy, we have so many demands on our time, that sometimes the only way to get everything done is to neglect our sleep. However, in training for this race, I’ve discovered that getting plenty of sleep is crucial.
7.Enjoy the crowd. Enjoy the spectators. Enjoy the cheers, yells, hollers, and whoops. Our supporters make a big difference.
8.Think about what you have accomplished, not what you haven’t accomplished. Because of a leg issue in January, I was not able to run with my class for several weeks. But going into the race Sunday, rather than thinking, “I missed 5 long runs with the class,” I thought, “I ran 10 miles just a few days ago. I’m gonna be fine.”
As I wind down from the race, I continue to be grateful for the many things I’ve learned about my mind and my body during the past few months. The biggest thing I’ve learned, though, is this: every day I have the chance to run is a day I feel blessed.
Up Next: “How Can I Love My Body?”
Reflections on the Race
The following conversation was overheard last Sunday at the Lincoln Marathon/Half Marathon:
Fan: Good job, runner!
Runner: I’m an idiot.
Fan: Yeah, but you’re an inspiring idiot!
On Sunday, I ran in the Lincoln Half Marathon, which was the first race I’ve ever run in my life.
And over the past several months, I’ve learned a lot. Eat lots of carbs. Drink lots of water.
Stretch. Ice. Massage. Rest. Do your long runs slow. Think positively.
But here’s what I learned from running the race itself: Never underestimate the power of support.
Not until the race itself was underway did I understand how important fans, spectators, and supporters are.
Just hearing people yell “Good job!” or “Way to go!” or “Looking good!” or “Go, runner, go!” lifted me high. Hearing the yells, cheers, whoops and hollers along the route fed me, nourished my spirit, and energized me as much as an energy gel or Gu would have. And because I was so well-fed by all the fans and spectators, I shaved 14 minutes off my goal time.
Would I have run as fast without the fans? Probably not.
Who are your fans? Who are your supporters? Who in your life says, “Good job!” or “Way to go!”?
Do those words make a difference to you? Do they help you run a faster race, whatever your race happens to be?
If your fans make a difference to you, go thank them. Right now!
Up Next: More Race Reflections
The following conversation was overheard last Sunday at the Lincoln Marathon/Half Marathon:
Fan: Good job, runner!
Runner: I’m an idiot.
Fan: Yeah, but you’re an inspiring idiot!
On Sunday, I ran in the Lincoln Half Marathon, which was the first race I’ve ever run in my life.
And over the past several months, I’ve learned a lot. Eat lots of carbs. Drink lots of water.
Stretch. Ice. Massage. Rest. Do your long runs slow. Think positively.
But here’s what I learned from running the race itself: Never underestimate the power of support.
Not until the race itself was underway did I understand how important fans, spectators, and supporters are.
Just hearing people yell “Good job!” or “Way to go!” or “Looking good!” or “Go, runner, go!” lifted me high. Hearing the yells, cheers, whoops and hollers along the route fed me, nourished my spirit, and energized me as much as an energy gel or Gu would have. And because I was so well-fed by all the fans and spectators, I shaved 14 minutes off my goal time.
Would I have run as fast without the fans? Probably not.
Who are your fans? Who are your supporters? Who in your life says, “Good job!” or “Way to go!”?
Do those words make a difference to you? Do they help you run a faster race, whatever your race happens to be?
If your fans make a difference to you, go thank them. Right now!
Up Next: More Race Reflections
Anticipation. . .
. . . is making me wait. . . is keeping me waiting. . .
Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow is the moment of truth. Tomorrow I will reap the results of the past four months of work, and I’m excited about the harvest!
Tomorrow, at 7 AM, I’ll run 13.1 miles! I’ve trained for the past four months for the Lincoln National Guard Half Marathon, and I don’t know what will happen.
But I do know that I’ve learned a lot about both my mind and my body during the past four months.
Pacing is important. Slow is good, especially if you’ve got a lot of miles to cover. (I’m impatient by nature, so this is an important lesson to learn.)
It takes time for one’s body to adapt to the demands you place upon it. (Again, another lesson in patience.)
Sleep is really important. Some studies that show that adding an hour of sleep can improve athletic performance. (I like that idea.)
Water is really important. If I have aches or pains, I know to drink lots and lots of water.
What you put in your mouth (food) impacts how you feel physically and mentally.
Not everything is in my control. Running helps me figure out what stuff I can control and what stuff I can’t.
Running is a spiritual practice.
I anticipate that tomorrow will be one of the best days of my life!
Up Next: “Reflecting on the Race”
Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow is the moment of truth. Tomorrow I will reap the results of the past four months of work, and I’m excited about the harvest!
Tomorrow, at 7 AM, I’ll run 13.1 miles! I’ve trained for the past four months for the Lincoln National Guard Half Marathon, and I don’t know what will happen.
But I do know that I’ve learned a lot about both my mind and my body during the past four months.
Pacing is important. Slow is good, especially if you’ve got a lot of miles to cover. (I’m impatient by nature, so this is an important lesson to learn.)
It takes time for one’s body to adapt to the demands you place upon it. (Again, another lesson in patience.)
Sleep is really important. Some studies that show that adding an hour of sleep can improve athletic performance. (I like that idea.)
Water is really important. If I have aches or pains, I know to drink lots and lots of water.
What you put in your mouth (food) impacts how you feel physically and mentally.
Not everything is in my control. Running helps me figure out what stuff I can control and what stuff I can’t.
Running is a spiritual practice.
I anticipate that tomorrow will be one of the best days of my life!
Up Next: “Reflecting on the Race”
Before and After
Then: I weighed 45 pounds more than was healthful.
Now: My body weight is in a healthful range.
Then: I struggled to carry groceries up the stairs into my apartment.
Now: I’m getting ready to run 13.1 miles.
Then: I looked at my body as “ugly” and “disgusting” and “fat” and “obese” and “gross.”
Now: I look at my body as “healthy,” “strong,” “fit,” “energetic,” and (this is the big one) “beautiful.”
Then: I drank a high-calorie, high-fat beverage from a local coffee house daily.
Now: I drink a lots and lots and lots of water.
Then: I cringed when I saw myself in the mirror or in a photograph or in a reflective store-front window.
Now: I look at my legs every night in the bathtub, and thank them for carrying me throughout the day.
Then: I ate whatever happened to be around--fast food, vending machine food, convenience store food.
Now: I have discovered I feel better when I eat lots and lots of fruits and vegetables.
Then: I felt that I would never measure up, or be good enough, because I was fat.
Now: I know that the only standard I need to measure up to is mine.
Then: I criticized myself relentlessly.
Now: I praise myself constantly.
That was then.
This is now.
Up Next: “Anticipating the Race”
Now: My body weight is in a healthful range.
Then: I struggled to carry groceries up the stairs into my apartment.
Now: I’m getting ready to run 13.1 miles.
Then: I looked at my body as “ugly” and “disgusting” and “fat” and “obese” and “gross.”
Now: I look at my body as “healthy,” “strong,” “fit,” “energetic,” and (this is the big one) “beautiful.”
Then: I drank a high-calorie, high-fat beverage from a local coffee house daily.
Now: I drink a lots and lots and lots of water.
Then: I cringed when I saw myself in the mirror or in a photograph or in a reflective store-front window.
Now: I look at my legs every night in the bathtub, and thank them for carrying me throughout the day.
Then: I ate whatever happened to be around--fast food, vending machine food, convenience store food.
Now: I have discovered I feel better when I eat lots and lots of fruits and vegetables.
Then: I felt that I would never measure up, or be good enough, because I was fat.
Now: I know that the only standard I need to measure up to is mine.
Then: I criticized myself relentlessly.
Now: I praise myself constantly.
That was then.
This is now.
Up Next: “Anticipating the Race”
Half Marathon? Here I Come!
For the past 17 weeks, I’ve been in a Marathon Training Class. A few weeks ago, we talked about goals. I’ve always been a goal-setter. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction when I achieve a goal. But a few weeks ago, I learned to think about goals in a different way.
Our marathon teacher asked us to set not one, but three goals for the race. The first goal is a base goal, a goal that will be “acceptable” to you, no matter what happens. Lots of things can happen on the day of the race. I could wake up with a cold. It could rain. A thunderstorm or tornado could pass through town. Or the weather could be brutally hot. Many things beyond my control may happen on race day, and so my “acceptable” goal, my base goal for the Half Marathon, is to finish the race, whether I run it, walk it, or crawl it.
Then our teacher asked us to set a second type of goal, a “moderately challenging” one. This is the goal that will make us really happy to achieve. So my “moderately challenging” goal is to run the entire course. No walking, no crawling. Running all the way!
And then the third type of goal is a “very challenging” goal--the kind of goal you achieve on a perfect day--where the stars align, the weather conditions are pristine, you feel great, and all is well in your world. And so my “very challenging” goal is to complete the race in 2 hours, 38 minutes (which is about a 12-minute mile).
Throughout much of my life, I’ve been single-minded in my approach to goals: I’ve looked at goals as black or white, hit or miss, as something to succeed at or something to fail at. But training for the Half Marathon has not only shifted how I view my body, it has shifted how I view my goals. Now I see goals in three ways: “acceptable,” “moderately challenging,” and “very challenging.” That way, no matter what happens the day of the race, I’ll be happy!
And no matter what happens in life, I’ll be happy, too!
Up Next: Before and After
Our marathon teacher asked us to set not one, but three goals for the race. The first goal is a base goal, a goal that will be “acceptable” to you, no matter what happens. Lots of things can happen on the day of the race. I could wake up with a cold. It could rain. A thunderstorm or tornado could pass through town. Or the weather could be brutally hot. Many things beyond my control may happen on race day, and so my “acceptable” goal, my base goal for the Half Marathon, is to finish the race, whether I run it, walk it, or crawl it.
Then our teacher asked us to set a second type of goal, a “moderately challenging” one. This is the goal that will make us really happy to achieve. So my “moderately challenging” goal is to run the entire course. No walking, no crawling. Running all the way!
And then the third type of goal is a “very challenging” goal--the kind of goal you achieve on a perfect day--where the stars align, the weather conditions are pristine, you feel great, and all is well in your world. And so my “very challenging” goal is to complete the race in 2 hours, 38 minutes (which is about a 12-minute mile).
Throughout much of my life, I’ve been single-minded in my approach to goals: I’ve looked at goals as black or white, hit or miss, as something to succeed at or something to fail at. But training for the Half Marathon has not only shifted how I view my body, it has shifted how I view my goals. Now I see goals in three ways: “acceptable,” “moderately challenging,” and “very challenging.” That way, no matter what happens the day of the race, I’ll be happy!
And no matter what happens in life, I’ll be happy, too!
Up Next: Before and After
Is It Really About Hunger?
For the past 17 weeks, I’ve been in a Marathon Training Class. A few weeks ago, we talked about goals. I’ve always been a goal-setter. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction when I achieve a goal. But a few weeks ago, I learned to think about goals in a different way.
Our marathon teacher asked us to set not one, but three goals for the race. The first goal is a base goal, a goal that will be “acceptable” to you, no matter what happens. Lots of things can happen on the day of the race. I could wake up with a cold. It could rain. A thunderstorm or tornado could pass through town. Or the weather could be brutally hot. Many things beyond my control may happen on race day, and so my “acceptable” goal, my base goal for the Half Marathon, is to finish the race, whether I run it, walk it, or crawl it.
Then our teacher asked us to set a second type of goal, a “moderately challenging” one. This is the goal that will make us really happy to achieve. So my “moderately challenging” goal is to run the entire course. No walking, no crawling. Running all the way!
And then the third type of goal is a “very challenging” goal--the kind of goal you achieve on a perfect day--where the stars align, the weather conditions are pristine, you feel great, and all is well in your world. And so my “very challenging” goal is to complete the race in 2 hours, 38 minutes (which is about a 12-minute mile).
Throughout much of my life, I’ve been single-minded in my approach to goals: I’ve looked at goals as black or white, hit or miss, as something to succeed at or something to fail at. But training for the Half Marathon has not only shifted how I view my body, it has shifted how I view my goals. Now I see goals in three ways: “acceptable,” “moderately challenging,” and “very challenging.” That way, no matter what happens the day of the race, I’ll be happy!
And no matter what happens in life, I’ll be happy, too!
Up Next: “Before and After”
Our marathon teacher asked us to set not one, but three goals for the race. The first goal is a base goal, a goal that will be “acceptable” to you, no matter what happens. Lots of things can happen on the day of the race. I could wake up with a cold. It could rain. A thunderstorm or tornado could pass through town. Or the weather could be brutally hot. Many things beyond my control may happen on race day, and so my “acceptable” goal, my base goal for the Half Marathon, is to finish the race, whether I run it, walk it, or crawl it.
Then our teacher asked us to set a second type of goal, a “moderately challenging” one. This is the goal that will make us really happy to achieve. So my “moderately challenging” goal is to run the entire course. No walking, no crawling. Running all the way!
And then the third type of goal is a “very challenging” goal--the kind of goal you achieve on a perfect day--where the stars align, the weather conditions are pristine, you feel great, and all is well in your world. And so my “very challenging” goal is to complete the race in 2 hours, 38 minutes (which is about a 12-minute mile).
Throughout much of my life, I’ve been single-minded in my approach to goals: I’ve looked at goals as black or white, hit or miss, as something to succeed at or something to fail at. But training for the Half Marathon has not only shifted how I view my body, it has shifted how I view my goals. Now I see goals in three ways: “acceptable,” “moderately challenging,” and “very challenging.” That way, no matter what happens the day of the race, I’ll be happy!
And no matter what happens in life, I’ll be happy, too!
Up Next: “Before and After”
Eat What You Love
An important principal in releasing weight through pleasure is this: eat only foods you love.
Diets lead to restriction. Restriction leads to deprivation. Deprivation leads to desperation. Desperation leads to bingeing. Bingeing leads to weight gain. Weight gain leads to diets. This vicious circle does not lead to a lot of pleasure.
Eating foods you love does, in fact, lead to pleasure.
There are certain foods that scream “diet” to me. Iceburg lettuce, baby carrots, and rice cakes are a few of those foods. So I avoid those foods like the plague!
However, dark bittersweet chocolate is a food that I love. And so I make sure that I eat some form of it often!
“But Kristin, you’re telling me to eat only what I love. I love it all! If it’s food, I love it,” you may say.
Great! Then it becomes important to pay attention to your hunger signals and your feelings. Eat when you feel physically hungry. And stop when you feel physically satisfied.
And never settle for a food that you don’t really love. If you have a deep desire for brie cheese, do not settle for Cheese Whiz. If you have a deep desire for pot roast, do not settle for a peanut butter sandwich. If you desire real cream in your coffee, do not settle for non-dairy creamer.
In releasing weight through pleasure, here are three tips:
1. Identify which foods bring you the most pleasure.
2. Ask yourself which foods you really desire.
2. Eat only those foods.
Honor your physical appetite. Listen to what your body really wants. And never settle.
Up Next: “Is It Really About Hunger?”
Diets lead to restriction. Restriction leads to deprivation. Deprivation leads to desperation. Desperation leads to bingeing. Bingeing leads to weight gain. Weight gain leads to diets. This vicious circle does not lead to a lot of pleasure.
Eating foods you love does, in fact, lead to pleasure.
There are certain foods that scream “diet” to me. Iceburg lettuce, baby carrots, and rice cakes are a few of those foods. So I avoid those foods like the plague!
However, dark bittersweet chocolate is a food that I love. And so I make sure that I eat some form of it often!
“But Kristin, you’re telling me to eat only what I love. I love it all! If it’s food, I love it,” you may say.
Great! Then it becomes important to pay attention to your hunger signals and your feelings. Eat when you feel physically hungry. And stop when you feel physically satisfied.
And never settle for a food that you don’t really love. If you have a deep desire for brie cheese, do not settle for Cheese Whiz. If you have a deep desire for pot roast, do not settle for a peanut butter sandwich. If you desire real cream in your coffee, do not settle for non-dairy creamer.
In releasing weight through pleasure, here are three tips:
1. Identify which foods bring you the most pleasure.
2. Ask yourself which foods you really desire.
2. Eat only those foods.
Honor your physical appetite. Listen to what your body really wants. And never settle.
Up Next: “Is It Really About Hunger?”
“I Hate Exercise!”
Those three words were my mantra for much of my adult life. I was much more comfortable in the world of the mind than in the world of the body. Ideas, art, music, and words I found attractive. Sports, athletics, and physical movement I found repulsive.
Of course, I was overweight. And, sadly, I found my body repulsive, as well. It was only when I deliberately, consciously, and intentionally changed my thoughts about my body that I was able to change my thoughts about moving my body. And now, “I hate exercise!” has become “I love running!”
Here are a few tips to help you change your thoughts about your body:
1 Be grateful for everything your body has done for you and has given you.
2 Look in the mirror right now, and find something about your body that you really like. Is it your eyes? Your hair? Your skin? Your freckles?
3 Take that thing you like about your your body (your eyes, hair, skin, etc.) and affirm it to yourself every time you look in the mirror: “I like my hazel eyes!” or “My hair is great!” or “My complexion is gorgeous!”
These positive statements about your body may feel self indulgent and uncomfortable. They may feel silly and unrealistic. And that’s okay. Do them anyway.
Know that these affirmative words will lead you out of the painful realm of self-loathing and into the much more pleasurable realm of healthy self-love! And someday soon, you too may find yourself saying, “I love exercise!”
Up next: “Eat What You Love”
Of course, I was overweight. And, sadly, I found my body repulsive, as well. It was only when I deliberately, consciously, and intentionally changed my thoughts about my body that I was able to change my thoughts about moving my body. And now, “I hate exercise!” has become “I love running!”
Here are a few tips to help you change your thoughts about your body:
1 Be grateful for everything your body has done for you and has given you.
2 Look in the mirror right now, and find something about your body that you really like. Is it your eyes? Your hair? Your skin? Your freckles?
3 Take that thing you like about your your body (your eyes, hair, skin, etc.) and affirm it to yourself every time you look in the mirror: “I like my hazel eyes!” or “My hair is great!” or “My complexion is gorgeous!”
These positive statements about your body may feel self indulgent and uncomfortable. They may feel silly and unrealistic. And that’s okay. Do them anyway.
Know that these affirmative words will lead you out of the painful realm of self-loathing and into the much more pleasurable realm of healthy self-love! And someday soon, you too may find yourself saying, “I love exercise!”
Up next: “Eat What You Love”
Portion Control, or “How Do I Know When I’ve Had Enough?”
Answering that question can be tricky. And yet, mastering the art of listening to your body is a fundamental principle in mastering the art of loving your body.
Sometimes it’s hard to know what our bodies are saying to us, especially regarding appetite, hunger, satisfaction, and fullness. For years, I was out of touch with what it felt like to be physically hungry, because I never allowed myself to become physically hungry. If food was around, I’d eat it. If food wasn’t around, I’d find some. And then we have my grad school years, when I’d ignore my body’s signals for hours upon hours: “I’m too busy to eat!” or “I can’t stop what I’m doing to eat!” or “Let me get just one more thing done, and then I’ll eat!” or, and this is my favorite, “What I’m doing is more important than eating.” You have one guess as to what would happen at home every night. I’d eat anything and everything in sight. And lots of it.
Listen to your body’s physical hunger signals. Be aware of how your body feels between meals. Gurgling, growling stomach? Weakness? Dizziness? Shakiness? Headaches? When you’re physically hungry, eat.
“I don’t have time to eat.”
Carry food with you. A granola bar (I like the ones on the market right now with 9 grams of fiber), an apple, a banana, a yogurt--whatever tastes good to you--keep it in your bag, and when you feel your stomach growling, eat.
Carry water with you, too.
“I eat out almost every day.”
This can be one of our biggest challenges. We all know that restaurants provide huge portions of food, sometimes doubling or tripling standards serving sizes. So here are a few tips to help you honor your body’s requirement for fuel when you’re at a restaurant:
Split a meal.
Eat half of what is served, and take the rest home.
Or ask for a take out container, and divide the meal when it arrives. Or ask the server to divide the entree in half before bringing it to you: half in a take out box, and half on the plate. Eat what’s on the plate, and take the rest home and enjoy it for lunch the next day.
Eat something before heading out the door. We all know what happens when we show up at our favorite restaurant and we haven’t eaten in several hours.
Ask questions about how the food is prepared.
Listen to your body’s signals for fullness. Know the difference between feeling satisfied, feeling really full, and feeling like you’re going to burst.
“Ok. So--what do I do when I’m at home?”
You may not want to hear this, but. . . take just one day and get familiar with portion sizes by weighing and measuring what you put in your mouth. We tend to underestimate the amount of food we eat, and so knowing what a cup of cereal looks like in your bowl, or knowing what three ounces of chicken looks like on your plate--that can be important in seeing how much food you’re really eating. If this sounds like a drag, make it fun! Reward yourself for empowering yourself with the knowledge of what serving sizes look like. By doing this, you’re taking exquisite care of your body. (If one day of weighing and measuring your food is too much, try it for just one meal.) You may be surprised at your discoveries.
Listen to your body’s hunger signals, and honor them. Your body will honor you in return.
Up next: “I Hate Exercise!”
Sometimes it’s hard to know what our bodies are saying to us, especially regarding appetite, hunger, satisfaction, and fullness. For years, I was out of touch with what it felt like to be physically hungry, because I never allowed myself to become physically hungry. If food was around, I’d eat it. If food wasn’t around, I’d find some. And then we have my grad school years, when I’d ignore my body’s signals for hours upon hours: “I’m too busy to eat!” or “I can’t stop what I’m doing to eat!” or “Let me get just one more thing done, and then I’ll eat!” or, and this is my favorite, “What I’m doing is more important than eating.” You have one guess as to what would happen at home every night. I’d eat anything and everything in sight. And lots of it.
Listen to your body’s physical hunger signals. Be aware of how your body feels between meals. Gurgling, growling stomach? Weakness? Dizziness? Shakiness? Headaches? When you’re physically hungry, eat.
“I don’t have time to eat.”
Carry food with you. A granola bar (I like the ones on the market right now with 9 grams of fiber), an apple, a banana, a yogurt--whatever tastes good to you--keep it in your bag, and when you feel your stomach growling, eat.
Carry water with you, too.
“I eat out almost every day.”
This can be one of our biggest challenges. We all know that restaurants provide huge portions of food, sometimes doubling or tripling standards serving sizes. So here are a few tips to help you honor your body’s requirement for fuel when you’re at a restaurant:
Split a meal.
Eat half of what is served, and take the rest home.
Or ask for a take out container, and divide the meal when it arrives. Or ask the server to divide the entree in half before bringing it to you: half in a take out box, and half on the plate. Eat what’s on the plate, and take the rest home and enjoy it for lunch the next day.
Eat something before heading out the door. We all know what happens when we show up at our favorite restaurant and we haven’t eaten in several hours.
Ask questions about how the food is prepared.
Listen to your body’s signals for fullness. Know the difference between feeling satisfied, feeling really full, and feeling like you’re going to burst.
“Ok. So--what do I do when I’m at home?”
You may not want to hear this, but. . . take just one day and get familiar with portion sizes by weighing and measuring what you put in your mouth. We tend to underestimate the amount of food we eat, and so knowing what a cup of cereal looks like in your bowl, or knowing what three ounces of chicken looks like on your plate--that can be important in seeing how much food you’re really eating. If this sounds like a drag, make it fun! Reward yourself for empowering yourself with the knowledge of what serving sizes look like. By doing this, you’re taking exquisite care of your body. (If one day of weighing and measuring your food is too much, try it for just one meal.) You may be surprised at your discoveries.
Listen to your body’s hunger signals, and honor them. Your body will honor you in return.
Up next: “I Hate Exercise!”
On Chocolate
I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t like chocolate. I’m sure she exists. I just haven’t met her.
Chocolate is delicious and decadent, blissful and bad, necessary and naughty. Chocolate may feel like one of those foods you “can’t” have or you “shouldn’t” have.
Maybe chocolate is on that list. You know the list. It’s the list of foods that will lead you down the wrong path--that list of foods that you’re craving and longing for, but you know should never enter your mouth. Chocolate may be on the list of foods that are “bad” for you.
In releasing weight in a pleasurable way, and in loving your body, it is important to take pleasure in what you put in your mouth. Chocolate helps us do that.
Geneen Roth writes, “Carry a chunk of chocolate everywhere.” I believe passionately in that principle.
If we deny ourselves what we truly desire (chocolate), we will eventually find a way to have that desire met (see my blog on bingeing).
If you feel that your relationship with chocolate is coming between you and your weight-release desires, I would suggest that you begin extensive research into chocolate, and really discover what kinds you like, and what kinds you don’t like.
“But Kristin, you don’t understand,” you say. “I like it all.”
That may be true. But I bet if you were to experiment with tasting different types of chocolates, you would find that some you enjoy more than others. In my universe, not all chocolate is created equal. Some has a waxy, parafin-ish texture that I don’t care for. Some is too sweet and irritates my throat. But on the other hand, there are certain kinds of chocolate that bring me rapture--the richness, the creaminess, the smoothness, the magnificent balance between bitter and sweet. . .
Engage in chocolate research. What kind of chocolate do you love? Dark, bittersweet chocolate? Creamy milk chocolate? Chocolate chips? Chocolate kisses? Chocolate cake? Chocolate brownies? Some people like chocolate and fruit. Some people like chocolate and mint. Some people like hot chocolate. Some people like chocolate and coffee. Some people like chocolate and vanilla. Some people like chocolate covered espresso beans, or chocolate covered cherries, or . . .
Try eating just one piece of chocolate. Look at it. If it comes in a foil wrapper, look at the way it’s packaged. Listen to the crinkly sounds it makes as you unwrap it. As you peel back the foil, enjoy the color of it--is it a light milky brown? Is it dark and deep and intense? And then smell it. And taste it. Savor it. Suck on it. Let it melt away in your mouth. Enjoy it. Don’t just mindlessly put in in your mouth, and while you’re chewing, reach for another. Eat that one piece of chocolate with all of your physical senses.
Be open to all that chocolate offers you.
Enjoy every pleasurable sensation chocolate gives you.
Learn to love your body through chocolate.
It’s so worth it.
Up next: “Portion Control, or How Do I Know When I’ve Had Enough? Mastering the Art of Listening to Your Body.”
Chocolate is delicious and decadent, blissful and bad, necessary and naughty. Chocolate may feel like one of those foods you “can’t” have or you “shouldn’t” have.
Maybe chocolate is on that list. You know the list. It’s the list of foods that will lead you down the wrong path--that list of foods that you’re craving and longing for, but you know should never enter your mouth. Chocolate may be on the list of foods that are “bad” for you.
In releasing weight in a pleasurable way, and in loving your body, it is important to take pleasure in what you put in your mouth. Chocolate helps us do that.
Geneen Roth writes, “Carry a chunk of chocolate everywhere.” I believe passionately in that principle.
If we deny ourselves what we truly desire (chocolate), we will eventually find a way to have that desire met (see my blog on bingeing).
If you feel that your relationship with chocolate is coming between you and your weight-release desires, I would suggest that you begin extensive research into chocolate, and really discover what kinds you like, and what kinds you don’t like.
“But Kristin, you don’t understand,” you say. “I like it all.”
That may be true. But I bet if you were to experiment with tasting different types of chocolates, you would find that some you enjoy more than others. In my universe, not all chocolate is created equal. Some has a waxy, parafin-ish texture that I don’t care for. Some is too sweet and irritates my throat. But on the other hand, there are certain kinds of chocolate that bring me rapture--the richness, the creaminess, the smoothness, the magnificent balance between bitter and sweet. . .
Engage in chocolate research. What kind of chocolate do you love? Dark, bittersweet chocolate? Creamy milk chocolate? Chocolate chips? Chocolate kisses? Chocolate cake? Chocolate brownies? Some people like chocolate and fruit. Some people like chocolate and mint. Some people like hot chocolate. Some people like chocolate and coffee. Some people like chocolate and vanilla. Some people like chocolate covered espresso beans, or chocolate covered cherries, or . . .
Try eating just one piece of chocolate. Look at it. If it comes in a foil wrapper, look at the way it’s packaged. Listen to the crinkly sounds it makes as you unwrap it. As you peel back the foil, enjoy the color of it--is it a light milky brown? Is it dark and deep and intense? And then smell it. And taste it. Savor it. Suck on it. Let it melt away in your mouth. Enjoy it. Don’t just mindlessly put in in your mouth, and while you’re chewing, reach for another. Eat that one piece of chocolate with all of your physical senses.
Be open to all that chocolate offers you.
Enjoy every pleasurable sensation chocolate gives you.
Learn to love your body through chocolate.
It’s so worth it.
Up next: “Portion Control, or How Do I Know When I’ve Had Enough? Mastering the Art of Listening to Your Body.”
Everything I Needed to Know About Life I Learned from Running
I began a running program in June, 2008. It was love at first stride. Throughout this passionate affair, I have learned. . .
Your body is always talking to you. Like a romantic partner, your body wants you to feel good. And like a romantic partner, your body will love you well if you pay exquisite attention to it.
Start slow. Really, really, really slow.
Pace yourself.
Eat well. Carbohydrates are good!
Drink water. Lots and lots and lots and lots of water. Your sore muscles will thank you.
Look where you’re going. Notice the ground a few feet ahead of you. Anticipate cracks in the sidewalk, curbs, sticks, stones, uneven pavement, gravel, and doggie doo-doo.
Set small goals, like making it to the next driveway, or to the next tree, or to the end of the block, or to the end of the street.
Celebrate yourself when you achieve those goals.
Invest in great shoes and great bras. These are necessities. Everything else is an extra.
Have a mantra that you say in rhythm to your stride. One of mine: “Hap-py. Heal-thy. Weal-thy. Free. Safe. Ea-sy Life.”
Be kind to your feet. They work hard to support you, and they love it when you treat them with compassion.
Enjoy the runner’s high. It can be as good as sex. Seriously.
Run with friends because you deserve the fun.
Run alone because you deserve the solitude.
Rest.
I am passionate about running. And I am passionate about infusing the rest of my life with what I’ve learned from running!
Up Next: “On Chocolate”
Your body is always talking to you. Like a romantic partner, your body wants you to feel good. And like a romantic partner, your body will love you well if you pay exquisite attention to it.
Start slow. Really, really, really slow.
Pace yourself.
Eat well. Carbohydrates are good!
Drink water. Lots and lots and lots and lots of water. Your sore muscles will thank you.
Look where you’re going. Notice the ground a few feet ahead of you. Anticipate cracks in the sidewalk, curbs, sticks, stones, uneven pavement, gravel, and doggie doo-doo.
Set small goals, like making it to the next driveway, or to the next tree, or to the end of the block, or to the end of the street.
Celebrate yourself when you achieve those goals.
Invest in great shoes and great bras. These are necessities. Everything else is an extra.
Have a mantra that you say in rhythm to your stride. One of mine: “Hap-py. Heal-thy. Weal-thy. Free. Safe. Ea-sy Life.”
Be kind to your feet. They work hard to support you, and they love it when you treat them with compassion.
Enjoy the runner’s high. It can be as good as sex. Seriously.
Run with friends because you deserve the fun.
Run alone because you deserve the solitude.
Rest.
I am passionate about running. And I am passionate about infusing the rest of my life with what I’ve learned from running!
Up Next: “On Chocolate”
Those Last Few Pounds
Those last few pounds can be a drag.
I know.
There’s a magic number on the scale that I’m on a quest to achieve. And for the last four months, I’ve been within two pounds of its magnificence. A part of me believes that when I achieve that number, magic will occur. All the stars in the heavens will come into perfect alignment. Fireworks will erupt from the sky. I will be instantly transformed into a princess clothed in a diaphanous gown. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow will appear the sidewalk before me. And that glorious number and I will live happily ever after.
I have a lot riding on that number.
And the magic of that number is preventing me from loving my body, as it is right now. Sure, I feel great right now. Sure, I love my body. But if I weighed two pounds less, I’d feel even greater!
Or would I?
Doubtful.
Would my life be perfect if I weighed just a few pounds less?
Probably not.
I’d still have to deal with the cat litter and hairballs. I’d still have to take out the garbage. I’d still have dishes to do, and laundry to do, and vacuuming to do.
Would I be happier if I weighed a few pounds less?
Probably not.
If you’re like me, you may be attached to those last few pounds. If you’re like me, the last few pounds may be preventing you from completely and unabashedly loving yourself. So, how can we relinquish our attachment to those last few pounds? How can we love our bodies, even with those last few pounds?
Here are a couple of ideas.
First, complete this sentence in as many ways as you can: “I love my body because. . .”
Second, complete this sentence in as many ways as you can: “I experience joy in my body when. . .”
Third, write a thank you note to your body. Want extra credit? Mail that note to yourself!
Make the decision to love your body as it is, today--even with those few last pounds!
Up next: “Everything I Needed to Know About Life I Learned from Running”
I know.
There’s a magic number on the scale that I’m on a quest to achieve. And for the last four months, I’ve been within two pounds of its magnificence. A part of me believes that when I achieve that number, magic will occur. All the stars in the heavens will come into perfect alignment. Fireworks will erupt from the sky. I will be instantly transformed into a princess clothed in a diaphanous gown. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow will appear the sidewalk before me. And that glorious number and I will live happily ever after.
I have a lot riding on that number.
And the magic of that number is preventing me from loving my body, as it is right now. Sure, I feel great right now. Sure, I love my body. But if I weighed two pounds less, I’d feel even greater!
Or would I?
Doubtful.
Would my life be perfect if I weighed just a few pounds less?
Probably not.
I’d still have to deal with the cat litter and hairballs. I’d still have to take out the garbage. I’d still have dishes to do, and laundry to do, and vacuuming to do.
Would I be happier if I weighed a few pounds less?
Probably not.
If you’re like me, you may be attached to those last few pounds. If you’re like me, the last few pounds may be preventing you from completely and unabashedly loving yourself. So, how can we relinquish our attachment to those last few pounds? How can we love our bodies, even with those last few pounds?
Here are a couple of ideas.
First, complete this sentence in as many ways as you can: “I love my body because. . .”
Second, complete this sentence in as many ways as you can: “I experience joy in my body when. . .”
Third, write a thank you note to your body. Want extra credit? Mail that note to yourself!
Make the decision to love your body as it is, today--even with those few last pounds!
Up next: “Everything I Needed to Know About Life I Learned from Running”
What Are You Hungry For?
Hunger.
To me, there are two distinct types of hunger: physical hunger and emotional hunger. We know when we’re physically hungry because our stomachs growl and gurgle. Maybe we get a little headache and maybe we feel weak and shaky. And then, if we don’t eat soon, we might begin to feel nauseated, dizzy, and faint. These physical symptoms of hunger are good, because they show us that our bodies need food. Food is good! Food keeps us alive!
Emotional hunger can be a little harder to recognize.
I remember coming home from work one day, feeling frazzled and stressed, and walking straight to the refrigerator. I felt angry about something that had occurred at my job, and so of course, I wanted to eat. It didn’t matter that I had eaten at work, and that I had eaten in the car on my way home. I still headed for the refrigerator, opened it up, and scanned the shelves for something--anything--that sounded good to me. And as I was standing in front of the refrigerator, a light bulb went on. I realized that I was not physically hungry. I was emotionally hungry. I felt angry, stressed, irritated, and resentful, and I was dealing with those negative feelings through food.
“What I want is not in the refrigerator,” I said to myself. I closed the refrigerator door.
That was my turning point. What I wanted was not food. What I wanted, deep in my heart, was a sense of calm, comfort, peace, contentment, and resolution, none of which could be found in bingeing. I realized, in that moment, that I had been confusing physical hunger with emotional hunger.
So, the next time you’re thinking about food, ask yourself one question. “Am I physically hungry or emotionally hungry?”
If you’re physically hungry, eat.
If you’re emotionally hungry, know that no food on the planet will satisfy you.
Next up: “Those Last Few Pounds”
To me, there are two distinct types of hunger: physical hunger and emotional hunger. We know when we’re physically hungry because our stomachs growl and gurgle. Maybe we get a little headache and maybe we feel weak and shaky. And then, if we don’t eat soon, we might begin to feel nauseated, dizzy, and faint. These physical symptoms of hunger are good, because they show us that our bodies need food. Food is good! Food keeps us alive!
Emotional hunger can be a little harder to recognize.
I remember coming home from work one day, feeling frazzled and stressed, and walking straight to the refrigerator. I felt angry about something that had occurred at my job, and so of course, I wanted to eat. It didn’t matter that I had eaten at work, and that I had eaten in the car on my way home. I still headed for the refrigerator, opened it up, and scanned the shelves for something--anything--that sounded good to me. And as I was standing in front of the refrigerator, a light bulb went on. I realized that I was not physically hungry. I was emotionally hungry. I felt angry, stressed, irritated, and resentful, and I was dealing with those negative feelings through food.
“What I want is not in the refrigerator,” I said to myself. I closed the refrigerator door.
That was my turning point. What I wanted was not food. What I wanted, deep in my heart, was a sense of calm, comfort, peace, contentment, and resolution, none of which could be found in bingeing. I realized, in that moment, that I had been confusing physical hunger with emotional hunger.
So, the next time you’re thinking about food, ask yourself one question. “Am I physically hungry or emotionally hungry?”
If you’re physically hungry, eat.
If you’re emotionally hungry, know that no food on the planet will satisfy you.
Next up: “Those Last Few Pounds”
Gratitude? For This Body?
“You want me to be grateful? For this body? You’ve got to be kidding! Look at me! I weigh way too much!”
Much has been written about gratitude and appreciation as a way to invite abundance and prosperity into one’s life, or as a way to shift one’s mood and thinking. I believe that gratitude for one’s own body, as it is right now, is also a fabulous way to release weight.
“OK,” you might say. “I’ll be grateful for my body when I lose five (or 10 or 15 or 20--you fill in the number) pounds.” Or perhaps you’re thinking, “I’ll be grateful for my body when I can fit into those clothes I have in my closet.” Or perhaps, “I’ll be grateful for my body when I weigh what I weighed in high school. What’s there to be grateful about now?”
And I would suggest that not until you appreciate the body that you have, right here, right now--not until you love, adore, and cherish your body in its present condition, will you be able to release weight in a lasting and permanent way.
Being grateful for our bodies is not be easy. I know. As women, we’ve been conditioned to compare ourselves to images of “perfect” female bodies in the media. We direct harsh judgments and cruel criticisms to our physical selves, and thereby undermine any movement toward self approval.
A few months ago, I was in the locker room at my gym. Three little girls were standing in their swimming suits, looking at themselves in the mirror.
“I’m so fat,” one said.
“My thighs are huge,” said another.
“Look at how big my stomach is,” said the third.
To me, these little girls looked normal and healthy. I wanted to sob.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if those children could look in the mirror and say, “Doesn’t my hair look cute?” or “I look great in this swimsuit!” or “I really like the way I look.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these children could look in the mirror and approve of what they see?
And wouldn’t it be wonderful if we, as adult women, could approve of what we see in the mirror? How can we learn to approve of our bodies? How can we appreciate our physical selves? How can we be grateful for the bodies that we have, right here and right now, regardless of our clothing size or the number on the scale?
Here are two suggestions:
First, make a gratitude list for your body. For example, mine might include:
1.I’m grateful that I went for a walk today!
2.I’m grateful that my ligaments, tendons, joints, muscles, and bones are healthy.
3.I’m grateful that the tastebuds on my tongue allow me to enjoy tangy strawberries and pineapple.
4.I’m grateful I can enjoy the softness of my cat’s fur though my sense of touch.
5.I’m grateful that my ears allow me to take pleasure in Susan Boyle’s singing.
Second, create a list of cool things your body has done. Maybe your body has given birth to a healthy child or healthy children. Maybe you have climbed mountains, or ridden horses, or seen a rare orchid. . . Whatever your body has done for you that has allowed you to experience joy, pleasure, happiness, or fun--write it down!
Don’t wait until you’re “thin” to love your body. Decide today approve of your physical self. When we love and accept and approve of our physical selves in the present moment, we create a loving, nurturing, and comforting environment where we are able to release weight that no longer serves us.
Up next: “What Are You Hungry For?”
Much has been written about gratitude and appreciation as a way to invite abundance and prosperity into one’s life, or as a way to shift one’s mood and thinking. I believe that gratitude for one’s own body, as it is right now, is also a fabulous way to release weight.
“OK,” you might say. “I’ll be grateful for my body when I lose five (or 10 or 15 or 20--you fill in the number) pounds.” Or perhaps you’re thinking, “I’ll be grateful for my body when I can fit into those clothes I have in my closet.” Or perhaps, “I’ll be grateful for my body when I weigh what I weighed in high school. What’s there to be grateful about now?”
And I would suggest that not until you appreciate the body that you have, right here, right now--not until you love, adore, and cherish your body in its present condition, will you be able to release weight in a lasting and permanent way.
Being grateful for our bodies is not be easy. I know. As women, we’ve been conditioned to compare ourselves to images of “perfect” female bodies in the media. We direct harsh judgments and cruel criticisms to our physical selves, and thereby undermine any movement toward self approval.
A few months ago, I was in the locker room at my gym. Three little girls were standing in their swimming suits, looking at themselves in the mirror.
“I’m so fat,” one said.
“My thighs are huge,” said another.
“Look at how big my stomach is,” said the third.
To me, these little girls looked normal and healthy. I wanted to sob.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if those children could look in the mirror and say, “Doesn’t my hair look cute?” or “I look great in this swimsuit!” or “I really like the way I look.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these children could look in the mirror and approve of what they see?
And wouldn’t it be wonderful if we, as adult women, could approve of what we see in the mirror? How can we learn to approve of our bodies? How can we appreciate our physical selves? How can we be grateful for the bodies that we have, right here and right now, regardless of our clothing size or the number on the scale?
Here are two suggestions:
First, make a gratitude list for your body. For example, mine might include:
1.I’m grateful that I went for a walk today!
2.I’m grateful that my ligaments, tendons, joints, muscles, and bones are healthy.
3.I’m grateful that the tastebuds on my tongue allow me to enjoy tangy strawberries and pineapple.
4.I’m grateful I can enjoy the softness of my cat’s fur though my sense of touch.
5.I’m grateful that my ears allow me to take pleasure in Susan Boyle’s singing.
Second, create a list of cool things your body has done. Maybe your body has given birth to a healthy child or healthy children. Maybe you have climbed mountains, or ridden horses, or seen a rare orchid. . . Whatever your body has done for you that has allowed you to experience joy, pleasure, happiness, or fun--write it down!
Don’t wait until you’re “thin” to love your body. Decide today approve of your physical self. When we love and accept and approve of our physical selves in the present moment, we create a loving, nurturing, and comforting environment where we are able to release weight that no longer serves us.
Up next: “What Are You Hungry For?”
Don't Lose It! Release it!
Words carry energy. Words carry meaning. Words impact our lives and our actions.
For example, think of the word “lose.” When we “lose” something, how do we feel? Probably not great. If we lose our keys, we may feel frustrated. If we lose our wallet, we may feel desperate. If we lose a friendship, we may feel sad. If we lose someone in death, we grieve and mourn.
The word “lose” carries certain connotations. It can imply desperation, sadness, grief, and lack, for we long for what has been “lost.” And our subconscious may go on a hunt to “find” what we’ve lost. If we continually think about “losing” pounds or “losing” inches, we may end up, on a subconscious level, looking for--and finding--those “lost” pounds and those “lost” inches.
When we think about the weight of our precious human bodies, perhaps, instead, we could think in terms of “reducing” or “releasing” weight which no longer serves us. We could view the weight we carry with us in terms of letting go of what we no longer need. To me, the idea of “letting go” or “releasing” feels much more pleasurable than “losing.” When we “let go” or “release” something, we’re the ones who have the power and control over what we release. We’re the ones in charge!
So, next time you think, “I’d really like to lose a few pounds,” consider restating that idea in terms of “release.” “I’m releasing weight that no longer serves me.”
You may be surprised how this one shift can impact your weight-release journey!
Up next: “Gratitude? For This Body?”
For example, think of the word “lose.” When we “lose” something, how do we feel? Probably not great. If we lose our keys, we may feel frustrated. If we lose our wallet, we may feel desperate. If we lose a friendship, we may feel sad. If we lose someone in death, we grieve and mourn.
The word “lose” carries certain connotations. It can imply desperation, sadness, grief, and lack, for we long for what has been “lost.” And our subconscious may go on a hunt to “find” what we’ve lost. If we continually think about “losing” pounds or “losing” inches, we may end up, on a subconscious level, looking for--and finding--those “lost” pounds and those “lost” inches.
When we think about the weight of our precious human bodies, perhaps, instead, we could think in terms of “reducing” or “releasing” weight which no longer serves us. We could view the weight we carry with us in terms of letting go of what we no longer need. To me, the idea of “letting go” or “releasing” feels much more pleasurable than “losing.” When we “let go” or “release” something, we’re the ones who have the power and control over what we release. We’re the ones in charge!
So, next time you think, “I’d really like to lose a few pounds,” consider restating that idea in terms of “release.” “I’m releasing weight that no longer serves me.”
You may be surprised how this one shift can impact your weight-release journey!
Up next: “Gratitude? For This Body?”
What's your biggest weight-loss challenge?
If losing weight were a piece of cake, we’d all be thin, right? I know, from first hand experience, that it’s not a piece of cake. It’s rough. It’s hard. It can be the biggest challenge of our lives.In upcoming blogs, I want to address any challenges you might have with weight loss, and I’d adore your feedback to some of these questions.
What is your biggest challenge when it comes to losing weight? Is it stress-eating? Is it certain times of the day that you just want to eat? Is it boredom? Is it certain times of the year? Is it family get togethers? Holidays? Vacations? Is it dealing with restaurants? Is it time? Is it weekends? Is it fatigue? Is it your family? Is it motivating yourself to exercise when you don’t feel like it? Is it that you hate moving your body? Is it that you feel like you’re too old and not worth the effort? Is it that you feel like you don’t have what it takes? Is it that you just really like to eat?
I would love to hear from you. I would love to know where your biggest blocks are when it comes to losing weight. Please e-mail me at nannerl123@yahoo.com with your biggest frustrations about weight loss, and I will address your concerns in upcoming blogs!
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Weight Loss Consultant
- Kristin Heslop
- Lincoln, NE
- Kristin Heslop, DMA, has gained and lost over a thousand pounds throughout her life. A musician by trade and training, Dr. Heslop attended Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska. She holds a Master of Music degree from Wichita State University, and a doctorate from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Dr. Heslop has taught at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, Concordia University, Union College, Wichita State University, and Enterprise Academy. She has performed on the flute, piano, harpsichord, and organ throughout the Midwest. In addition to music she derives great pleasure from political and environmental activism, creating visual art, and hearing her cat Lukas purr.