I’m good at holding a grudge. And I’m not so good at forgiving.
If I feel someone has irritated me, or hurt me, or wronged me, or betrayed my trust, or disappointed me in some way, viewing that person with kind, compassionate, and loving thoughts can present somewhat of a challenge. Forgiving others definitely does not come naturally to me. Blessing those I find irritating can be difficult. Wishing them well seems out of my grasp. And feeling love toward those who have hurt me is usually not my first response.
I have a hard time forgiving others.
But sometimes I think the person I have the hardest time forgiving is myself.
Many of us who are overweight or who have been overweight have lived lives filled with pain. But the ironic thing is that the deepest pain we experience usually is not inflicted on us from the outside world. The pain we experience on a soul-level seems to comes from our internal mindset about our bodies and our lives and who we are as human beings. We betray ourselves and our bodies through what we tell ourselves about our faces, our legs, our stomachs, our breasts, our hair, our skin, our bottoms, our arms. . . While our external world may be unkind, our internal world can be ruthless.
And so the question becomes, how can I forgive myself for treating myself unkindly? I recently came across an idea in Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love which suggests that, when we forgive, we focus on the good, and the rest falls away. And nowhere does this idea apply more than to weight loss. As we focus on the good, or as I like to call it, the beauty in our physical bodies, the rest (or the weight that is no longer needed) falls away. As we focus on the joy and delight and pleasure and goodness of being alive in this amazing human body, the weight comes off. As we focus on loving and adoring every inch of our precious physical vehicle, we shift our view of who we are and what we deserve. As we focus on the amazing sensual pleasures in simply being alive in our body, we become more motivated to cherish it and love it in ways that feel wonderful to us.
If you feel like you may be struggling with losing a few pounds (or more), consider, for the next week, focussing on “the good” in your body. If you feel like the weight will never come off, consider cherishing and loving your physical self in ways you’ve never done before. Forgiveness is really about focussing on the good. As you focus on the goodness of your amazing human body, forget about numbers. Forget about the number on the scale, or the number on your jean’s waistband, or the number of pills you take. And instead, remember and acknowledge the the truth of who you are. Focus on the good. You will be releasing thoughts (and weight) which no longer serve you.
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