I think many women have an Inner Fat Girl.
I know I do.
She shows up when I feel stressed. She shows up when I feel frustrated. She shows up when I feel tired. She shows up when I feel scattered. Basically, she makes her presence known when I feel any kind of negative feeling. And she likes to eat. A lot. In fact, I might call her a binge eater.
But as I have discovered over the years, what my Inner Fat Girl really wants has nothing to do with food. What my Inner Fat Girl wants is attention, love, comfort, understanding, patience, and compassion. And she mistakenly thinks that by eating, she will gain those things. However, those are desires that cannot be met by any kind or any amount of food.
And so, when my Inner Fat Girl shows up, I immediately take that as a sign that I need to be kinder to myself. When my Inner Fat Girl starts screaming for New York Super Fudge Chunk Sundae ice cream, I know that there’s something else going on besides physical hunger. My Inner Fat Girl clearly and distinctly points me in the direction of emotional hunger. And food can never satisfy emotional hunger.
So, if your Inner Fat Girl is emotionally hungry, what are some things that you can do that can satisfy her?
First, acknowledge that food isn’t what she really wants. She may think she wants it, but a binge really won’t help her feel better in the long run. She’ll still feel all the negative feelings she had before the binge--and she’ll be dealing with the added guilt and frustration of having just binged!
Second, ask her what will bring her the most pleasure. Perhaps she just needs to take a couple of deep, full, slow belly breaths. Or maybe she needs to blow off some steam by going for a vigorous walk. May she needs a candle lit bubble bath. Maybe she needs to call a friend, or write in a journal, or do something with her hands.
Third, love her. Because that’s what she really wants.
Up Next: How to Love Your Body When It Doesn’t Feel Very Lovable
