When Women Start Loving Their Bodies

A couple of days ago, I had the privilege of participating in a workshop called “Befriending Our Bodies After Cancer.”  I came away filled with inspiration, passion, and desire.  I also came away with a strong belief that when women start loving their bodies. . . 

. . . their health will improve and health care costs will go down.

. . . they will be happier.

. . . they will need less medication.

. . . they will be in touch with their deepest, truest parts of themselves.

. . . they will approve and enjoy and connect with every part of their physical presence.

. . . they will not seek to change their bodies by drastic means, for they will see the beauty and joy in their bodies as they are.

. . . the will know that the only approval that really matters is the approve that comes from inside of them.

. . . they will ease up on the judgments the make about their bodies.

. . . they will treat themselves kindly and compassionately.

. . . they will approve of the image they see in the mirror.

. . . they will approve of other women’s bodies.

. . . they will approve of their daughter’s bodies.

. . . they will listen closely to what their bodies are telling them.

. . . they will pay attention to what their bodies really want.

. . . they will enjoy the sensory pleasures their bodies give them.

. . . they will not rely solely on the sense of taste to give them pleasure, and instead know that they can experience pleasure through their eyes, ears, nose, and skin.

. . . they will see beauty in freckles, wrinkles, gray hair, and flesh.

. . . they will know what makes them happy, and take responsibility for their own happiness.

. . . they will feel better about themselves more often.

. . . they will feel no desire to read fashion magazines.

. . . they will know that their bodies love them.

. . . they will know that their bodies want to support them during their time on this planet.

Up Next:  If Your Body Could Talk to You, What Would It Say?

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On Seeing Our Own Beauty

 

It’s not always easy to do.  We may be afraid of becoming arrogant, or vain, or narcissistic, but recognizing our own beauty is a practice that’s rooted in love, not fear.  Arrogance, vanity, and narcissism are all based in fear, but seeing the beauty of our physical bodies is founded in love.

One of the tenets of Christianity is the idea of loving our neighbor as we love ourselves.  And of course, there has been much energy given to the idea of extending compassion to others.  But there doesn’t  seem to be much attention given to the idea of extending compassion towards ourselves.

And how can be be compassionate towards ourselves when sometimes all we see is our flaws, failures, shortcomings, and dare I say, sins?  How can we look in the mirror and see ourselves as exquisite extensions of divine mind when what seems to be staring us in the face are our imperfections, insecurities, and fears?

We need to be willing to view our bodies differently.  Ask yourself, “Am I willing to change?  Am I willing to look at my body with compassion and love?  Am I willing to focus on what is amazing and beautiful and stunning about my physical self?”

If you can answer “Yes” to those questions, here a  couple of ideas that may help you recognize the truth of your own beauty and fall in love with your body.

First, every time you glance at yourself in the mirror, or catch a glimpse of yourself in a reflective surface, say something positive to yourself.  Here are a few ideas:  “I’m scrumptious!” or “I’m really cute!”  or “I’m beautiful!” or “I’m having a good hair day!”  You get the picture.  At first, saying positive things to yourself may not feel easy.  At first, they may feel stupid and silly.  But like any new skill, the more you do it, the easier it will get.  

Second, plunge into gratitude.  And again, this may feel difficult, silly, and awkward.  But I would urge you, right now, to take out a piece of paper and begin to make a list of gratitudes for your body.  Today, on my list, I might include:

I am grateful that my legs carried me on a four-mile run.

I am grateful that my taste buds allowed me to enjoy two delicious cups of fresh-ground coffee with real cream.

I am grateful that my nose caught the sweet fragrance of a flowering bush.

I am grateful that my ears heard the delicate lapping of my cat at the water bowl.

As you begin to be willing to see your body differently, and as you begin to say positive statements to yourself when you look in the mirror, and as you plunge into gratitude for your physical body, you will become proficient in the art of seeing yourself for what you are:  beautiful.

Up Next:  When Women Start Loving Their Bodies

Leave me a comment here, and visit me at my website http://www.fallinlovwithyourbody.com

When All You See In the Mirror Are Saggy Boobs, Rolls of Fat, and Cellulite

 

Here are ten interventions for when your imperfections stare you in the face:

1. 1. Know that you’re normal.  According to Geneen Roth, even thin people “have cellulite, get old, and die.” You’re not alone.
   

2. 2.Know that this too shall pass.  The great thing about feelings?  They’re temporary.  
   

3. 3.Do something fun.  What makes you laugh?  What makes you smile?  What makes you feel amazing?  What brings you pleasure?  Make a list of things that make you happy, and then do one thing on that list.
   

4. 4. Put on red lipstick.  Or red nail polish.  Or both.
   

5. 5. Take three really deep belly breaths. Enjoy feeling the air moving in and out of your body.
   

6. 6. Call your best friend.  A good rant never hurt anybody.
   

7. 7.Walk.  I always feel better after a walk.
   

8. 8. Wear something soft.  Or touch something soft, like a pet.
   

9. 9. Listen to your favorite tunes.  Sing along.  Loudly!
   

10. 10. Enjoy chocolate.  It never disappoints.
    

Up Next:  On Seeing Your Own Beauty

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It's All In Your Mind

Didn’t Einstein say, “Imagination is more important than knowledge?”

It all starts with one thought.  It starts with a simple desire.  It starts with your imagination!

Be conscious and curious and aware of your thoughts related to your body, your food, about your life. 

Pay attention to your thinking.  Pay attention to what you’re “imaging.”   Infuse any images you hold with passion, joy, gratitude, and pleasure.  

And see where you go!

Up Next:  How to Have Fun While Losing Weight

And check out my free offer at http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com

Resistance

 

I am a world-class resister.  If resistance were a sport, I would be slathered in Olympic gold.  And although I hold a doctorate in music, on some days I feel like I should hold a doctorate in resistance.

Here are a few things I’ve learned about resistance over the years:

First, resistance is a very good thing.  When you feel resistance, be grateful.  Resistance is a blessing.  Resistance is awesome.  Resistance is cool.  Resistance rocks!  Why?  Because resistance points you in the direction where you can make the most profound growth.  Resistance shows you a very specific place where you can create a magnificent transformation.

In my weight-release journey, the one aspect that I resisted the most was moving my body.   I loathed moving my body almost as much as I loathed my body itself.  And I could come up with any number of rationalizations that would allow me to remain entrenched in my sedentary lifestyle.  First, I was too busy.  I had no time.  I was working two and sometimes three jobs, and I just couldn’t find time to exercise.  And then, when I’d get home at night, the last thing in the world I wanted to to was go for a walk.  I also was totally embarrassed about my body and how I had let it deteriorate.  I didn’t want anyone to see me, much less see me moving.

But as I began to intentionally shift my view of my body, and as I began to intentionally think loving thoughts about myself, I began to consider how fantastically strong my body was for carrying around 45 extra pounds of weight.  And those positive, loving, compassionate thoughts about my body slowly began to do a number on my resistance.  As I began to see my body as worthy of attention and love, I began to really listen to her.  

Here’s what she said one day:

“Kristin, if you want me to weigh less, you’re going to have to move me more.”

“I don’t want to,” I whined.

She persisted. “Kristin, if you want me to weigh less, you’re going to have to move me more.  Why don’t we go for a walk?”

“Ugh.  I don’t want to.  I’m at work.  If we go for a walk, I’ll be all sweaty and sticky and gross when we get back,” my whine continued.

“Kristin, dear,” my body said.  “I love you, and I want to be there for you.  If you want us to weigh less, then both of us are going to have to move more.  Let’s go for a walk.  It’s a nice day!”

My resistance was, indeed, futile.  My body and I went for a walk. 

Within a few weeks, that 30-minute walk morphed into an hour-long walk.  Within a couple of months, that hour-long walk morphed into a 15-minute run.  And that 15-minute run morphed into running a half marathon.

What is the truth of resistance?  

Resistance gives you the opportunity for profound change.  

And with that profound change can come the realization of your deepest desires.

Up Next:  It’s All In Your Mind

And check out my FREE limited-time offer at my website:  http://fallinlovewithyourbody.com

 

Celebrate!

 

Here are some reasons to celebrate. . .

. . . It’s fun!

. . . Every step you take in the direction of your desires deserves celebration!

. . . It’ll help you keep going when you don’t feel like it!

. . . It beats beating ourselves up over food!

Food is an integral part of celebration.   It seems we celebrate everything in our life with food.  We celebrate graduations and birthdays and weddings and anniversaries with cake.  We celebrate the Independence Day with hot dogs, potato salad, chips, and apple pie.  We celebrate major accomplishments in our lives with a fabulous dinner.  Food is a prominent part celebrating milestones, major events, and significant achievements in our lives.  Food is important.

In releasing weight through pleasure, and in getting what I wanted for my body, it became important for me to celebrate myself and every weight-release accomplishment in non-food ways.  And I got some help in this regard from a friend who loves earrings.  She determined, as she was beginning her weight-release adventure, that she needed to find non-food ways to celebrate every five-pound increment she reached.  And she decided to celebrate through earrings.  She loved earrings, and the prospect of getting new ones when she hit a weight-release goal kept her motivated.  Those earrings kept her interested, and focused on what her true desires were for her body.

As I was releasing weight, I decided to adopt a similar strategy.  I knew I was in it for the long haul, and I knew I had to find a way to keep it fun.  So, for the first five pounds I released, I treated myself to a fun box of decorative notecards.  For ten pounds, I indulged in a high-end facial moisturizer.  And on and on. . .  by the time I reached 45 pounds, I time skiing down a mountain in Colorado!

As you’re moving through your weight-release journey, how can you celebrate and recognize every milestone you reach in non-food ways?  What are some pleasures you can indulge in that are free of food?

Up Next:  Resistance

Leave me your comments here!  

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What Does Pleasure Have to Do With Weight Loss?

 

At first glance, it’s counter-intuitive.

Pleasure and releasing weight seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum.  On one end, we have delicious food and rapturous feelings.  And on the other end, we have celery sticks and starvation.  How can the two co-exist and even enhance each other? 

Releasing weight through pleasure means allowing yourself to experience the sensory delight that your body can give you.  Your body can give you pleasure in ways other than food if you let it.

Releasing weight through pleasure means allowing yourself to contemplate what the term “pleasure” really means, and then going for it.  Pleasure can be found in a croissant and coffee, or really feeling your legs in a great stretch, or enjoying a cool breeze wafting through your home.  

Releasing weight through pleasure means bringing joy to experiences that might be unpleasant.  For years, I had a desire to lose weight, and for years, I resisted  exercise. I hated exercise.  However, I knew that if I wanted to release weight, I had to find a way to make moving my body fun.  And celebrating each step I took on the treadmill led me into a passionate affair with running.

Releasing weight through pleasure means consciously and intentionally shifting your view of your body, and replacing negative messages with kind, compassionate, loving words.  The negative messages are lies.  The loving words are truth. 

Releasing weight through pleasure means to continually chose to view your body with love rather than loathing.  And as we align our thoughts with a loving reality, our behavior aligns itself with that loving reality as well.

Up Next:  Celebrate!

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