"Exercise Is Such a Drag!"

If you’re anything like I was, these words might express your predominant feelings about exercise.

And believe me, I understand.  I so understand.  And I totally relate.  

I remember being one of the rounder little girls in elementary school.  I remember going to gym class in first or second grade, and having to climb a rope.  (To this day, I don’t see why it’s important for a first grader to climb a rope.)  And I was the worst rope climber in my class.  I couldn’t do it.  And as one of the heavier kids in grade school, I was consistently one of the last kids to be picked for any sort of team.  Then in high school, I was required to take one year of physical education, and my lack of physical coordination earned me a grade of C.

And so, for the first 45 or so years of my life, to me, exercise was a drag.  Of course, smattered along the course of these 45 years were New Year’s Resolutions, aerobics classes, Jane Fonda videos, and some intense and frustrating events on Stairmasters and in weight rooms.  But none of these experiences ever lasted very long.  None of them really took, because I told myself, time and time again, “I hate this.  Exercise is such a drag.”  Exercise was something that I knew, intellectually, was good for me, but it was something that I could never quite commit to.

Until. . . 

I made a conscious, intentional, and determined shift in my thinking.  

It wasn’t until I shifted what I said to myself about myself that I was able to move into the realm of actually enjoying moving my body.  With almost 50 pounds of excess weight on my body, I began to notice things about my physical self that I liked.  And it wasn’t easy, to begin with.  But the more I did it, the easier it got.  I began to be grateful for my legs, which allowed me to walk up a flight of stairs.  I began to be grateful for my wrists, which allowed me to grip a pen, hold a steering wheel, wash a fork, and hold a musical instrument.  I began to be grateful for my eyes, which allowed me to see beauty everywhere I looked.  I began to be grateful for my big toe, which allowed me to be mobile and balanced.

As I approved of my overweight body, and appreciated the pleasure I could experience in my overweight body, I began to want to care for it in a more loving way.  I began to want to eat more healthful food.  I began to want to move it in a way that was fun for me.  I began to set an intention of getting in the best shape of my life.

As I acknowledged all the amazing things that my body could do for me, I began to actually enjoy moving it.  I started out going for a brief walk.  Then it expanded into a longer walk.  Then it morphed into running short distances.  And then the distances increased.  And now I consider myself a distance runner.

Transformation is possible.  For me, my thoughts of “Exercise is such a drag!” morphed into “I love to run.”

The key to this?  Loving, approving, and appreciating your body, as it is right now, regardless of the number on the scale.  

Up next:  Forgiveness and Weight Loss

Eat What You Love

Sometimes we use food as a way to beat ourselves up, especially when we’re dieting.  Food, and our thoughts around food, can be a way for us to punish ourselves and to keep ourselves deprived of what we really want.  When we’re dieting, it becomes easy for us to think of food in terms of “good” and “bad,”  or “should” and “should not.”  We think we “should” eat carrots sticks and celery and cauliflower, or we think we “should not” eat chocolate or potato chips or butter.   We think we can’t trust ourselves around food.  We think that if we have one potato chip, then we will most certainly eat the whole bag.  We think if we have one brownie, then in an hour the whole pan will be gone.  We believe that having one spoonful of ice cream will lead to the disappearance of the entire carton.

For the first 45 years of my life, I looked at food as something that controlled me.  If food was around and available, I would eat it.  And it wouldn’t even really matter what what kind of food it was,  or if I even really liked it.   I grew up thinking I had no “will power” around food.  I grew up thinking that I had no “self control” around food.  I grew up thinking that if food was there, I had no choice but to eat it.

In releasing weight through pleasure, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that I can give myself permission to eat foods that I enjoy, foods that truly bring me pleasure, to eat foods that taste delicious to me--and still release and maintain weight!  I’ve discovered that the more I consider what brings me deep pleasure, the more particular I am in what I put in my mouth.  And much to my surprise, not all foods are created equal.  

When I began to think in terms of pleasure, when I began to consider questions like “What will bring me the most pleasure?” I began to realize that I really like fresh fruit more than cold pizza.  I discovered that I like rich dark chocolate more than candy bars.  I realized that a fresh, delicious salad would bring me more pleasure than a bag of Doritos from the vending machine.  And I began to eat what I loved.  And surprisingly, as I began to eat only foods that tasted exquisitely delicious to me, I began to realize that I, in fact, did have more power over food than I thought.  I realized that I, indeed, have many choices, many options, and when I choose the one that will bring the the most pleasure, I’m less likely to find myself bingeing (and then suffering the inevitable guilt).

If you feel powerless around food, if you feel like you have no control and no will power when it comes to what you put in your mouth, here’s a challenge.  

For the next seven days, eat only foods that you love and adore.  

Don’t compromise.  Don’t settle.  Don’t give in just because it’s there.  

If you’re faced with food that you don’t love and adore, don’t eat it!  

Eat only foods that bring you pleasure. 

Next up:  “Exercise Is Such a Drag!”

The Power of Curiosity

Being curious about life is more fun than feeling than feeling overwhelmed by the “should’s” in life.

When I set the intention to release weight several years ago, I was very curious about how my life would change.  I began to wonder.  

“I wonder what will happen when I get in really great shape.”

“I wonder how my life will be different when I release this weight.”

“I’m curious about how I’ll feel when I start moving my body regularly.”

“I wonder what will really happen to my life when my body weight is in a healthy range.”

“I’m curious to see how eating well will make me feel.” 

Being open to curiosity and wonder was a new way of thinking about my life and my body.  The more curious I became about the whole weight release process, the more fun I had on the journey.  I began to really take great pleasure in food rather than mindlessly putting food in my mouth.  I began to be very aware of my senses during my my daily walks.  I began to enjoy a heightened sense of energy and a more positive view of my life as I explored my sense of curiosity and wonderment.  The more I wondered about what would happen when I released weight, the more weight I released.

If you feel like you might like to lose a few pounds but are stuck, or if you feel like you “ought” to lose weight or “should” eat more healthfully, but just can’t seem to motivate yourself, try thinking about your body and weight loss goals in terms of “I’m curious about. . . .” or “I wonder what will happen when. . . .”  

Sometimes a gentle shift in our thinking is all it takes to create an amazing life!

Up Next:  Eat What You Love

Emotional Eating

A little child is riding her bike.

She falls off.

She skins her knee.

She comes running in the house, crying for her mother.

“Mommy!  Mommy!  I hurt my knee!”

“Oh, honey,” her mother replies.  “I’m sorry.  Here, darling.  Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Her mother washes off her knee and puts a Mickey Mouse bandage on it.  

The tears stop.

“Here we are, sweetie.”  She gives her daughter a hug.  “Have a cookie.  It’ll make you feel better.”

We learn, very early on, to connect food with feeling.  We believe, from a very early age, that food can assuage pain.  We learn that food can comfort us when we’re scared, soothe us when we’re anxious, cheer us up when we’re blue, and make us happy when we’re sad.  But can it, really?

Is it really the cookie that makes a little girl stop crying, or is it the love of her mother? 

Is it really food that gives us comfort, or is it the sympathetic ear of a friend?

Is it really food that soothes us, or is it a gentle hug from a spouse?

Is it really food that cheers us up when we’re blue, or is it a matter of changing our perspective?

Is it really food that makes us happy, or is it simply being heard and understood by someone who cares?

So many times, throughout my life, I looked to food for emotional satisfaction.  I looked to food for happiness, comfort, joy, celebration, stress-relief, etc.   Every emotion I had, good or bad, positive or negative, high or low, I used food to manage through it.  

Then I heard someone talk about going to the hardware store for milk, which is what I had been doing most of my adult life.  I had been looking at food for something it couldn’t ever give me.  I had been going to the hardware store for milk.

Today, I continually ask myself, “Am physically hungry or emotionally hungry?”   If I’m physically hungry, I eat.  And I pay close attention to my feelings of fullness and satisfaction.  And most of the time, I stop when I’m full.   However, if I’m emotionally hungry, I know that no amount of food on the planet will ever, ever be enough.

Up Next:  The Power of Curiosity

 

Why I Love to Run

When I started running, at age 47, a little over 14 months ago, I had no idea the journey it would start me on.

At that point, I had already released about 20 pounds and I really wanted to get in the best shape of my life.

I didn’t know that running was going to be an integral part of that, but I did know that if this was going to become a reality, I’d have to move my butt.

And so move my butt I did. Little by little.

I remember joining the “Very Beginning Two Milers” group in my beginning running class. I was a rookie, novice, rank beginner--and I freely admit my ignorance related to anything athletic. On that first night, we ran for 30 seconds, walked for 30 seconds, and did that for 20 minutes. And at the end of those 20 minutes, I thought, “I can do this!”

And today, every time I head out the door for a run, I think, “I can do this!”

I love to run because running is very simple. I am by nature a non-athlete. I freely admit I have little natural physical coordination. But running requires little physical coordination other than putting one foot in front of the other. And to me, it feels natural.

I love to run because it makes me happy.

I love to run because it’s a great stress-reliever.

I love to run because running gives me time to think, problem-solve, strategize, and work things out in my head.

I love to run because of the feeling of pride, satisfaction, and accomplishment I have when I get back.

I love to run because I know my body thanks me every time I successfully reach the top of a hill.

I love to run because I’ve met some awesome people through though this sport.

I love to run because I’ve gotten some cool free running shirts from various running groups I’ve been in. I love free stuff!

I love to run because I’ve learned a lot about my muscles, bones, tennis balls (great for hamstring massage), rest, hydration, rolling pins, ligaments, Body Glide, rest, tendons, food, wicking fabrics, rest, protein, massage, ice, sports bras, cold soaks, carbohydrates, rest. . .

I love to run because I have learned a great deal about the power of my mind and the power of visualizing what I want. A running friend said a couple of weeks ago, “Running is 99 percent mental.”

I love to run because I occasionally get a runner’s high, and those endorphins bring me a lot of pleasure!

I love to run because running teaches me patience.

I love to run because running teaches me pacing.

I love to run because running is metaphor for life.

I love to run because it’s fun!

What do you do because it’s fun?

Up Next: Emotional Eating

When Your Body Doesn't Feel Lovable

It’s hard.

Sometimes we think our bodies have betrayed us, and that we’re at their mercy.  Sometimes we see nothing good, valuable, worthy, or beautiful when we look in the mirror.  Sometimes all we see is fat, wrinkles, gray hair, pores, cellulite, love handles, saggy this, flabby that.  

Sometimes we simply just don’t approve of our bodies.  And if we take that idea one step further, I believe that in not approving of our bodies, we are also not approving of ourselves at the deepest level.  

And here’s the rub.

We’re not taught how to approve of ourselves or our bodies.  There aren’t a lot of role models today that show us how to adore our physical selves.  There’s no course in school or specialized training we can take that will teach us how to value our bodies.  Instead, we become proficient at demeaning, criticizing, and complaining about our bodies.  And what is disturbing about this trend is that we pass on these ideas to our daughters.  In a conversation with a friend the other day, she described her niece, age nine, who is beginning to look in the mirror and talk about how fat she is and how she should go on a diet.  Unless we, as adults, consciously and intentionally shift our view of our bodies--today--right now--in this moment, this trend of self loathing will impact future generations.

But here’s the good news.

It is possible to shift your view of your body from one of self-loathing to one of self-love.  It is possible to transform your critical thoughts into thoughts that support you.  It is possible to love what you see in the mirror, no matter what you weigh, how many gray hairs you may have, or how out of shape you may feel.  It is possible to approve of everything about your physical self, from cellulite to love handles to thighs. 

It begins with a willingness to change what you say to yourself.  It begins with a willingness to choose approval over disapproval.  It beings with a willingness to see yourself as a beautiful creature worthy of adoration. 

Marianne Williamson wrote a letter to Oprah Winfrey 17 years ago about this very idea, “In order to lose weight on a permanent basis, you want a shift in the belief about who and what you are.”

Are you willing to shift your belief about who and what you are?

Up Next:  Why I Love to Run

How to Be Kind to Your Inner Fat Girl

I think many women have an Inner Fat Girl.  

I know I do.

She shows up when I feel stressed.  She shows up when I feel frustrated.  She shows up when I feel tired.  She shows up when I feel scattered.  Basically, she makes her presence known when I feel any kind of negative feeling.  And she likes to eat.  A lot.  In fact, I might call her a binge eater.  

But as I have discovered over the years, what my Inner Fat Girl really wants has nothing to do with food.  What my Inner Fat Girl wants is attention, love, comfort, understanding, patience, and compassion.  And she mistakenly thinks that by eating, she will gain those things.  However, those are desires that cannot be met by any kind or any amount of food.  

And so, when my Inner Fat Girl shows up, I immediately take that as a sign that I need to be kinder to myself.  When my Inner Fat Girl starts screaming for New York Super Fudge Chunk Sundae ice cream, I know that there’s something else going on besides physical hunger.  My Inner Fat Girl clearly and distinctly points me in the direction of emotional hunger.  And food can never satisfy emotional hunger.  

So, if your Inner Fat Girl is emotionally hungry, what are some things that you can do that can satisfy her? 

First, acknowledge that food isn’t what she really wants.  She may think she wants it, but a binge really won’t help her feel better in the long run.  She’ll still feel all the negative feelings she had before the binge--and she’ll be dealing with the added guilt and frustration of having just binged!

Second, ask her what will bring her the most pleasure.  Perhaps she just needs to take a couple of deep, full, slow belly breaths.  Or maybe she needs to blow off some steam by going for a vigorous walk.  May she needs a candle lit bubble bath.  Maybe she needs to call a friend, or write in a journal, or do something with her hands.  

Third, love her.  Because that’s what she really wants.

Up Next:  How to Love Your Body When It Doesn’t Feel Very Lovable