When Your Body Doesn't Feel Lovable

It’s hard.

Sometimes we think our bodies have betrayed us, and that we’re at their mercy.  Sometimes we see nothing good, valuable, worthy, or beautiful when we look in the mirror.  Sometimes all we see is fat, wrinkles, gray hair, pores, cellulite, love handles, saggy this, flabby that.  

Sometimes we simply just don’t approve of our bodies.  And if we take that idea one step further, I believe that in not approving of our bodies, we are also not approving of ourselves at the deepest level.  

And here’s the rub.

We’re not taught how to approve of ourselves or our bodies.  There aren’t a lot of role models today that show us how to adore our physical selves.  There’s no course in school or specialized training we can take that will teach us how to value our bodies.  Instead, we become proficient at demeaning, criticizing, and complaining about our bodies.  And what is disturbing about this trend is that we pass on these ideas to our daughters.  In a conversation with a friend the other day, she described her niece, age nine, who is beginning to look in the mirror and talk about how fat she is and how she should go on a diet.  Unless we, as adults, consciously and intentionally shift our view of our bodies--today--right now--in this moment, this trend of self loathing will impact future generations.

But here’s the good news.

It is possible to shift your view of your body from one of self-loathing to one of self-love.  It is possible to transform your critical thoughts into thoughts that support you.  It is possible to love what you see in the mirror, no matter what you weigh, how many gray hairs you may have, or how out of shape you may feel.  It is possible to approve of everything about your physical self, from cellulite to love handles to thighs. 

It begins with a willingness to change what you say to yourself.  It begins with a willingness to choose approval over disapproval.  It beings with a willingness to see yourself as a beautiful creature worthy of adoration. 

Marianne Williamson wrote a letter to Oprah Winfrey 17 years ago about this very idea, “In order to lose weight on a permanent basis, you want a shift in the belief about who and what you are.”

Are you willing to shift your belief about who and what you are?

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