On New Year's Resolutions

I have no shortage of “resolutions.” Goal-setting comes easily and naturally to me. I write my goals down. I share them with other people. I visualize their being accomplished. And I attach a time frame to them.

And for the next few days or weeks, many of us will be on a honeymoon with our resolutions. We’re going to be enthusiastic. We’re going to be motivated. We’ll be at the gym six out of seven days. We’ll be eating lots of celery and apples and carrots. We’ll shed those unwanted pounds once and for all. This year, we really will get in shape and be fit. We really will look better and feel better. And this year, we’ll be different! This year, we’ll stick to all of our resolutions.

Then life happens, and the dog throws up, the kids scream at each other, your spouse snaps at you, and your boss throws you a few surprises. So when you get home, all you want to do is sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and eat.

Resolutions are wonderful, but what will bring those resolutions into reality is this: having a plan for the tough days, for when the road is rough, when the course is challenging, and when the ideal and the real collide. And here are a few ideas that may help.

Take the middle way. Embrace the middle ground. Shun all or nothing thinking. Know that slip-ups are normal, and that we seldom progress is a continuous, straight line. Unplanned brownies can suddenly appear in front of you, and it can feel like you have no choice but to eat them. Unasked-for donuts may call your name from the break room. A surprise pizza may materialize in a meeting. So, if you eat a brownie, a donut, or a piece of pizza, enjoy it. Relish it and take delight in it. And as soon as you feel thoughts of self-recrimination and guilt, begin to forgive yourself for slip-ups and treat yourself with patience and love.

Look at the big picture. When I feel frustrated that my resolutions aren’t happening as fast as I’d like, I purposefully review where I was last year, or five years ago, or even ten years ago. This helps me realize how far I’ve come, and it reminds me that minor setbacks are simply that. Minor.

Embrace “Plan B.” This is a hard one for me. I like to accomplish things, and I must admit I tend toward perfectionism in some areas. I like things to go my way. Unfortunately, the way I “think” things should go isn’t always the way things always turn out. So, if the scale moves up when I think it should go down, I simply say to myself, “That’s good information to have,” and I consciously think about everything that went right for me in the past week. For me, a big part of “Plan B” is focussing on the good.

And so, approach your resolutions with moderation and patience. Look at how far you’ve come. And have a back-up plan. With this three-pronged approach, next year at this time, your resolutions may no longer be resolutions. They’ll be accomplishments to be celebrated!

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