The Pollyanna Game

 

I love Facebook.

One of my favorite things about Facebook is the status lines of my friends.  Here is a status line I came across recently: “Pollyanna--the Glad Game--WORKS!”

I was intrigued, and so I asked my friend more about it.  She explained that she uses it on her kids when they’re complaining about something: “Find something to be glad about in this situation.  Like collecting smiles when you go for a walk!”

And I love that idea.

I looked up “Pollyanna” in one of my dictionaries, and the definition was not particularly flattering:  “a foolishly or blindly optimistic person.”  I, however, prefer Marianne Williamson’s take on Pollyanna.  She writes (I apologize that I can’t remember where I read it) that it takes strength and courage to be a Pollyanna.  And I agree.  Rather than thinking of Pollyanna as foolish or blindly optimistic, I prefer to think of her as a strong and courageous young woman.  It takes strength and courage to find the good in a “bad” situation.  It takes strength and courage to find beauty in something that may traditionally be considered ugly.  It takes strength and courage to recognize the perfection in something that may be considered imperfect.  It takes strength and courage to recognize the greatness in something that may be considered weak.  It takes strength, courage, and maybe a little bit of commitment and discipline, to consciously and intentionally shift our mindset from one of  focussing on what’s wrong in our life to focussing in what’s right in our life.

So last night, I had an opportunity to play the “Glad Game.”  

I had intended to go for a run, but my schedule got slightly screwed up, and so I was unable to go at the time I had planned on.  And instead of beating myself up for my imperfect timing, I decided to go for a walk.  I walked a few blocks down the road to a beautiful park that is filled with lush and abundant flowers.  The foliage is spectacular right now, and while I was there, out of nowhere, a man playing a banjo appeared, strolling through the gardens, strumming on his instrument.  I was enthralled.  I wanted to be his groupie.  Here was a reason to be glad!

Later, as I was walking through the gorgeous flora and fauna, I saw something that I’d never seen before: several hummingbird moths sipping nectar from various flowers with their long tongue.  I was mesmerized by the action of their wings, their tongue, and their intense focus on finding the perfect flower.  I probably could have stayed there for an hour, enchanted by their quiet buzzing and focussed attention.  The hummingbird moths made me happy.  It was another reason to be glad!

I prefer to think of Pollyanna, not as blindly or foolishly optimistic, but instead,  as a courageous and strong realist who can see the truth and goodness in any situation.  

And I can’t wait to see where the Glad Game takes me today!

Up Next:  Joy in Movement

Gratitude Revisited

 

I remember when I first started thinking about gratitude.  It was back in the 1990s, and Sarah Ban Breathnach was being interviewed on The Oprah Winfrey Show.  She and Oprah were talking about gratitude, gratitude journals, and the like.

“Sure,”  I thought.  “That sounds fine for people who have nothing better to do.  It’s probably a wonderful idea, but I seriously don’t have time for it.”  I was working on a doctorate at the time, teaching classes at a couple of local universities, and feeling stressed out, overworked, overwhelmed, and generally tired.

Fast forward to 2007.  An unhealthy relationship had ended. I’d finished the degree, and I found myself taking a personal development course.   One of the assignments given by the facilitator of this course was to create a list of 300 gratitudes.

300!

Of course, because I was investing a lot of money, time, and energy in this workshop, I decided, “Fine.  If that’s the assignment, I’m darn well gonna do it.”

And so, as I was sitting in La Guardia in April, 2007, I started compiling my list of 300 things to be grateful for.  I numbered several pages in a journal from 1 to 300, and I began listing things.  And the longer my list became, the more relaxed I felt.  

And then a miracle happened.

I was in the Milwaukee airport, up to  “Gratitude 169” I was given free air fare!  FREE!  Out of nowhere I was suddenly the proud owner of a voucher good for a free round trip ticket to anywhere in the continental United States.   “Gratitude 169” convinced me that this gratitude thing really works, and I got totally serious about it. 

I began a morning routine of drinking coffee and writing out things I am grateful for. 

That routine morphed into an evening ritual of writing out gratitudes before I go to sleep.

Then I decided to incorporate gratitude not just into my mornings and evenings, but into my days as well, and now I carry an “On the Go” gratitude journal in my purse.  When I find myself  with a few moments, wherever I am, I take out that little journal and write down what I’m grateful for in that moment.

And as I was relishing the idea of gratitude in my life, I started becoming enormously grateful for my body.  Even though I was, at the time, heavier than was healthy for my height, I started thinking about being grateful for being able to walk up the stairs to my apartment.  I started begin grateful for being able to hear the cry of the peacocks as I walked past the children’s zoo.  I began to be grateful that I could see the clear blue summer sky.  I began to be grateful that I could touch the soft fur of my black and white cat.  

Being grateful for being able to experience these small pleasures through my physical body shifted my thinking and my energy.  Because I was so grateful to be blessed with this precious human body, I began to treat it a little better.  Because I was grateful for being, overall, pretty healthy, I started to eat a few more fruits and vegetables and drink a little more water.  Because I was grateful for being able to move with relative ease, I started moving a little bit more.  Because I was grateful for being alive, I started to enjoy my life just a little bit more!

Gratitude has become a key component to my life.  Gratitude was a key component in my releasing weight through pleasure.  And gratitude is a key component to maintaining a healthful weight.

Are you up for a challenge?

I challenge you to make your own Gratitude List. 

Right now.

Take out a pen and a pad or journal.

Number from 1 to 300.  

Start listing things you’re grateful for.

And let me know what happens!  E-mail me at nannerl123@yahoo.com.

Up Next:  The Pollyanna Game

Can Being Happy Make You Thin?

 

A man's life are what his thoughts make of it.

--Marcus Aurelius.

Before we consider the answer to this question, let’s look at this question from the opposite angle:  “Can being sad make you fat?”  

From personal experience, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that negative emotions walk hand in hand with eating.  I learned, at a very early age, to use sugar, salt, and fat to deal with my feelings.  Food was super-convenient.  If I felt stressed about something in my life, food was a reliable companion.  It didn’t question me, argue with me, or invalidate me.  If I felt angry about something in my life, food was a way to zone out and numb myself from the uncomfortable feelings I was having.   If I was tired after putting in a 12-hour day, I counted on food to be there for me.  It always was.  And of course, the more intense my negative feelings, the more I ate.  And the more I ate, the more weight I gained.  And the more weight I gained, the sadder I felt.  And the sadder I felt, the more I ate.  And the more I ate. . . well, you get the picture. 

So, if it is true that being sad can make you fat, can being happy make you thin?  I believe the answer to that question is “Yes,” as well.  I believe that when we focus on happiness (or pleasure, joy, satisfaction, fulfillment, and fun), we have less of a need to medicate ourselves through food.  As I feel happier in my life, food becomes a less-important way to generate happy, positive feelings.  As I focus on creating situations that bring me emotional satisfaction, food begin to play a less-integral role in my emotional well-being.  As I look for ways to experience pleasure and joy in my life without food, food becomes more like fuel and less like love.

If you feel that being sad can make you fat, and that being happy can make you thin (it’s simplistic, I know), consider focusing on happiness.  Create a list of things that bring you joy that have nothing to do with food.  And refer to that list often.  Post it on your refrigerator door, or your bathroom mirror, or by your computer at work.  Recognize and celebrate every positive, fun, happy, and joyful thing that happens to you during the day.  Celebrate every beautiful thing you encounter, whether it is a quick smile from somebody you pass on the street or feeling a dog’s tongue on your cheek or hearing a baby giggle with glee.  The more you celebrate and recognize happiness, the happiness you will have to share with the world.  And as you celebrate and recognize happiness, you may find yourself becoming happier.  And thinner. 

What makes you happy?

Up Next:  Gratitude Revisited

Ten Tips for Weight Loss Success

 

A few days ago, a friend asked me for tips on losing weight.  Having released almost 50 pounds of unnecessary weight from my body during the past couple of years, I’ve learned to. . .

1. 1. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR. This is the big one.  In fact, it’s the biggest one.  If I could only get only one point across to people, it would be this:  speak kindly to yourself.  What do you say to yourself as you’re looking at yourself in a bathroom mirror as you’re washing your hands?  What do you say to yourself when you’re toweling off after a shower?  Or if you’re walking down a city street and your reflection in a storefront window, what do you think? What do you think when you’re adjusting your rear view mirror in your car?  Are you noticing your flaws, your imperfections, the things about your body you don’t like?  And if so, begin today to replace those negative observations with affirmative observations.  Affirm what you see in the mirror.  Praise what you see in the mirror.  Recognize the beauty of what you seen in the mirror.  
   

2. 2. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE A FEW POUNDS AWAY FROM YOUR IDEAL BODY WEIGHT, FIND THINGS ABOUT YOUR BODY TO LOVE--TODAY.  I know from personal experience that this is not easy.  Finding beauty in my body when it was 45 pounds above its healthful weight did not come naturally.  Seeing my overweight body as gorgeous required quite a bit of effort on my part.  It required energy and discipline and lots and lots of practice.  And it didn’t feel natural or easy at first.  It felt like I was lying to myself.  But here’s the funny thing that happened.  The more I noticed my great hair or my awesome curves or my spectacular laugh or my strong calves--the more I acknowledged the beauty in my overweight body, the more beauty there was to acknowledge, and the less overweight it became.
   

3. 3.KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.  There’s probably just a part of you that is resisting what you know you should do.  Discover what you’re resisting, and then find a way to make it fun.  For me, I had the biggest block around exercise.  I hated it for many reasons, which I won’t bore you with here.  However, I knew that, in order to get what I really, really wanted (to be in the best shape of my life), I knew I would have to get my fine rear out of the chair and move it in some way, shape, or form.  I knew that exercise was going to be a crucial component to releasing weight through pleasure, and so I decided to search for ways to make moving my body fun.  It wasn’t fun in the beginning.  But after a few months, it became fun!
   

4. 4. REGARD YOUR BODY AS PRECIOUS.  This seems to be a theme of the major religious traditions of the world, and yet, given the tremendous increase in obesity (and obesity-related diseases) over the past few decades, it’s a theme that is not effectively implemented in people’s lives.  There aren’t a lot of classes or workshops or degrees in “how to regard your body as precious.”  Learning to love our physical bodies is not something we’re taught in church or in school.  However, learning to love our physical bodies can become one of the most important lessons of our lives.  Developing a healthy, loving relationship with our flesh can create a foundation, platform, and springboard for healthy, loving relationships with all aspects of our lives.
   

5. 5. ENJOY YOUR PHYSICAL SENSES.  Take pleasure in each of your five senses every day.  Use your sense of touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smelling to experience beauty and fulfillment and satisfaction.
   

6. 6. BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR BODY.  Live in a state of gratitude for your physical self.  Consider all the wonderful things that you’ve accomplished with your body.  And if you want extra credit?  Create a gratitude list for the part of your body you have the hardest time accepting.  Do you feel like your thighs resemble tree trunks?  Consider how their strength has served you over the years.  Do you feel like your bottom is too big?  Consider the pleasure of having a curvy body.  Do you feel like your hair is too gray (or too curly or too straight or to thin or too thick or too this or to that)?  Consider being grateful for  that your hair has protected your scalp and kept your head warm over the years.
   

7. 7.PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY.  Listen to it.  Your body is always talking to you, but sometimes we don’t pay it the attention it deserves.  Is it tired?  Let it rest.  Is it overworked?  Give it a break.  Is it physically hungry?  Feed it food that it really enjoys.  Is it emotionally hungry?  Nourish its spirit.  Is it stressed?  Breathe deeply.  Is it bored?  Find pleasure in the now.  Is it in pain?  Touch it with love and kindness.  
   

8. 8. ONLY EAT FOODS YOU LIKE.  Life is too short to deprive yourself of foods you love.  Geneen Roth wrote something to the effect of, “For every diet, there is an equal and opposite binge.”  If there are foods that you continually deprive yourself of, eventually you will find yourself eating those foods--in large quantities!  However, if we allow ourselves to eat the foods that we truly enjoy and that truly bring us pleasure, then no foods are off limits.  We can eat what we want (because we’re paying attention to our wants and our hunger levels).  We can truly enjoy what we’re eating, and stop when we feel full.  For many of us, this can be challenge.  But just trusting ourselves to eat what we want and stop when we’ve had enough can be reason to celebrate!
   

9. 9.PAY ATTENTION TO PORTION SIZES.  This may not be a popular tip in today’s world of king size this and super size that.  Pay attention to when you’re hungry.  Eat what you’re physically hungry for.  And stop eating when you’re full.  And remember, distinguish between physical hunger and emotional hunger.  If you’re physically hungry, food will fill you up.  If you’re emotionally hungry, no amount of food on the planet will satisfy you. 
   

10. 10.  KEEP WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TOP OF MIND.  Give thoughtful attention to the deepest desires you have for your body, and celebrate everything you do that moves you in the direction of those desires.
    

Up Next:  How Can Getting Happy Make You Thin?

30 Pounds In 30 Days!

 

We have all seen the ads, the claims, the promises.  Eat this food and you’ll be thin.  Drink this drink and you’ll be thin.  Take this pill and you’ll be thin.  Exercise in this way for this length of time and you’ll be thin.  Have this surgery and you’ll be thin.  

Our desperation creates fertile ground for our belief in these promises.  We want to believe that a pill or a diet or a magical cure will work for us “this time.”  We long to be thin because being thin, for many of us, represents so much more than “being thin.”  Being thin represents happiness.  Being thin represents security.  Being thin represents perfection.  Being thin represents acceptance.  Being thin represents love.  

We believe that something outside of ourselves will save us from ourselves.  We believe that the next diet plan, or the next diet book, or the diet next pill, or the next surgery will give us the body we long for.  And we believe in our hearts that having the body we long for will also give us the life we long for.  We believe that, once we are “thin” we will be happy, accepted, and loved.   Being “thin” represents so much more than being “thin.”  Being thin represents the solution to all the things about ourselves that we don’t like and would like to fix.  Being thin represents a salvation to the pain we feel when we’re fat.  Being thin represents salvation.  Being thin represents heaven on earth.

In looking for the ideal life that will happen to us when we’re thin, we forget about the present.  In anticipating a new size, or new clothes, or new measurements, we place all our ability to find pleasure in the future.  In addition to giving our power away to a diet, or a pill, or shake, or doctor, we also give our power away to the future.  And when our power lies in the future, then we find ourselves living in the present moment with a continuous flow of dissatisfaction, frustration, resentment, anger, and depression.  We aren’t happy now, but we know that, when we’re “thin,” we will be happy.

We forget about taking pleasure in the present moment.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy ourselves, in our bodies, right now.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy the pleasure of a cool breeze on our skin.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy the sounds of a bird warbling.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can be fully present and alert as we are eating delicious food.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can find something beautiful to feast our eyes upon.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can nourish ourselves in ways other than food.

We don’t have to wait for our weight to diminish before we can enjoy our bodies.  We don’t have to wait for our weight to diminish before we can be happy.  We can take pleasure in our physical senses today. 

Don’t wait until you’re “thin” to love your physical body and allow it to bring you pleasure.  Don’t give your power away to the future.  

Use your body to experience physical, sensory pleasure today.  

Starting now!

Up next:  Ten Tips for Weight Loss Success

What They Don't Tell You About Losing Weight

 

You’ll still have laundry.

You’ll still have dishes.

You’ll still have a few aches and pains.

You’ll still bad hair days.

You’ll still have diapers and cat litter.

You’ll still have garbage.

You’ll still vacuuming.

You’ll still have closets to clean.

You’ll still have arguments with your spouse or significant other or kids or friends.

When I was fat, I idealized being thin.  I thought that, if I could only lose weight, then my life would be perfect.  I’d have the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect apartment, the perfect car.  I thought that the stars would align.  I would be at one with the universe.   I’d attain enlightenment.  

My thinking was wrong.  “If only [you fill in the blank] would happen, then I could be happy,” was the underlying theme of these thoughts.  I was waiting to become thin.  I thought that, once I was thin, then I really would be happy.   But being thin doesn’t make you happy.  

For me, it’s more like being happy that makes you thin.

Weird, huh?

Up Next:  30 Pounds in 30 Days!

You can find me at http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com.

Food Is Not the Enemy

 

I’ve waged major battles with food.

Kristin versus Ben and Jerry.

Kristin versus Land O’Lakes butter.

Kristin versus The Vending Machine.

For so many years, my predominant way of thinking was that I had no self control.  I felt completely powerless over food.   If I found myself within 100 feet of food, I’d feel desperate.  If food was there, I would have to eat it, whether I liked it or not.  For years, I felt that I had no choice in the matter.    And during those years, my thoughts began with, “I can’t. . .” or “I don’t. . .”  or “I shouldn’t have. . .” or “I should have. . .” 

Of course, during those years, my weight fluctuated dramatically--over 200 pounds of body weight was gained and lost and gained and lost in the course of my adult life.  

I thought the enemy was food.  But it was never food.  The enemy was always my perception and my thinking, and the battleground was always in my mind rather than in my refrigerator or on the dinner table. 

When I realized that the only way to win the battle was to surrender to truth and to surrender to reality and to surrender to pleasure and to surrender to joy, then my body weight began to change.  But it was only by changing my perspective that I was able to change my weight.  It was only by choosing to view my body with love and kindness and compassion that I was able to release weight.  And it is only by making the daily choice to view my body with gratitude and appreciation that I am able to maintain a healthful weight. 

When we surrender to the truth of what is, we can truly be free. 

Up Next:  What They Don’t Tell You About Losing Weight

Visit me at http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com