Can Being Happy Make You Thin?

 

A man's life are what his thoughts make of it.

--Marcus Aurelius.

Before we consider the answer to this question, let’s look at this question from the opposite angle:  “Can being sad make you fat?”  

From personal experience, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that negative emotions walk hand in hand with eating.  I learned, at a very early age, to use sugar, salt, and fat to deal with my feelings.  Food was super-convenient.  If I felt stressed about something in my life, food was a reliable companion.  It didn’t question me, argue with me, or invalidate me.  If I felt angry about something in my life, food was a way to zone out and numb myself from the uncomfortable feelings I was having.   If I was tired after putting in a 12-hour day, I counted on food to be there for me.  It always was.  And of course, the more intense my negative feelings, the more I ate.  And the more I ate, the more weight I gained.  And the more weight I gained, the sadder I felt.  And the sadder I felt, the more I ate.  And the more I ate. . . well, you get the picture. 

So, if it is true that being sad can make you fat, can being happy make you thin?  I believe the answer to that question is “Yes,” as well.  I believe that when we focus on happiness (or pleasure, joy, satisfaction, fulfillment, and fun), we have less of a need to medicate ourselves through food.  As I feel happier in my life, food becomes a less-important way to generate happy, positive feelings.  As I focus on creating situations that bring me emotional satisfaction, food begin to play a less-integral role in my emotional well-being.  As I look for ways to experience pleasure and joy in my life without food, food becomes more like fuel and less like love.

If you feel that being sad can make you fat, and that being happy can make you thin (it’s simplistic, I know), consider focusing on happiness.  Create a list of things that bring you joy that have nothing to do with food.  And refer to that list often.  Post it on your refrigerator door, or your bathroom mirror, or by your computer at work.  Recognize and celebrate every positive, fun, happy, and joyful thing that happens to you during the day.  Celebrate every beautiful thing you encounter, whether it is a quick smile from somebody you pass on the street or feeling a dog’s tongue on your cheek or hearing a baby giggle with glee.  The more you celebrate and recognize happiness, the happiness you will have to share with the world.  And as you celebrate and recognize happiness, you may find yourself becoming happier.  And thinner. 

What makes you happy?

Up Next:  Gratitude Revisited

Ten Tips for Weight Loss Success

 

A few days ago, a friend asked me for tips on losing weight.  Having released almost 50 pounds of unnecessary weight from my body during the past couple of years, I’ve learned to. . .

1. 1. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR. This is the big one.  In fact, it’s the biggest one.  If I could only get only one point across to people, it would be this:  speak kindly to yourself.  What do you say to yourself as you’re looking at yourself in a bathroom mirror as you’re washing your hands?  What do you say to yourself when you’re toweling off after a shower?  Or if you’re walking down a city street and your reflection in a storefront window, what do you think? What do you think when you’re adjusting your rear view mirror in your car?  Are you noticing your flaws, your imperfections, the things about your body you don’t like?  And if so, begin today to replace those negative observations with affirmative observations.  Affirm what you see in the mirror.  Praise what you see in the mirror.  Recognize the beauty of what you seen in the mirror.  
   

2. 2. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE A FEW POUNDS AWAY FROM YOUR IDEAL BODY WEIGHT, FIND THINGS ABOUT YOUR BODY TO LOVE--TODAY.  I know from personal experience that this is not easy.  Finding beauty in my body when it was 45 pounds above its healthful weight did not come naturally.  Seeing my overweight body as gorgeous required quite a bit of effort on my part.  It required energy and discipline and lots and lots of practice.  And it didn’t feel natural or easy at first.  It felt like I was lying to myself.  But here’s the funny thing that happened.  The more I noticed my great hair or my awesome curves or my spectacular laugh or my strong calves--the more I acknowledged the beauty in my overweight body, the more beauty there was to acknowledge, and the less overweight it became.
   

3. 3.KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.  There’s probably just a part of you that is resisting what you know you should do.  Discover what you’re resisting, and then find a way to make it fun.  For me, I had the biggest block around exercise.  I hated it for many reasons, which I won’t bore you with here.  However, I knew that, in order to get what I really, really wanted (to be in the best shape of my life), I knew I would have to get my fine rear out of the chair and move it in some way, shape, or form.  I knew that exercise was going to be a crucial component to releasing weight through pleasure, and so I decided to search for ways to make moving my body fun.  It wasn’t fun in the beginning.  But after a few months, it became fun!
   

4. 4. REGARD YOUR BODY AS PRECIOUS.  This seems to be a theme of the major religious traditions of the world, and yet, given the tremendous increase in obesity (and obesity-related diseases) over the past few decades, it’s a theme that is not effectively implemented in people’s lives.  There aren’t a lot of classes or workshops or degrees in “how to regard your body as precious.”  Learning to love our physical bodies is not something we’re taught in church or in school.  However, learning to love our physical bodies can become one of the most important lessons of our lives.  Developing a healthy, loving relationship with our flesh can create a foundation, platform, and springboard for healthy, loving relationships with all aspects of our lives.
   

5. 5. ENJOY YOUR PHYSICAL SENSES.  Take pleasure in each of your five senses every day.  Use your sense of touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smelling to experience beauty and fulfillment and satisfaction.
   

6. 6. BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR BODY.  Live in a state of gratitude for your physical self.  Consider all the wonderful things that you’ve accomplished with your body.  And if you want extra credit?  Create a gratitude list for the part of your body you have the hardest time accepting.  Do you feel like your thighs resemble tree trunks?  Consider how their strength has served you over the years.  Do you feel like your bottom is too big?  Consider the pleasure of having a curvy body.  Do you feel like your hair is too gray (or too curly or too straight or to thin or too thick or too this or to that)?  Consider being grateful for  that your hair has protected your scalp and kept your head warm over the years.
   

7. 7.PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY.  Listen to it.  Your body is always talking to you, but sometimes we don’t pay it the attention it deserves.  Is it tired?  Let it rest.  Is it overworked?  Give it a break.  Is it physically hungry?  Feed it food that it really enjoys.  Is it emotionally hungry?  Nourish its spirit.  Is it stressed?  Breathe deeply.  Is it bored?  Find pleasure in the now.  Is it in pain?  Touch it with love and kindness.  
   

8. 8. ONLY EAT FOODS YOU LIKE.  Life is too short to deprive yourself of foods you love.  Geneen Roth wrote something to the effect of, “For every diet, there is an equal and opposite binge.”  If there are foods that you continually deprive yourself of, eventually you will find yourself eating those foods--in large quantities!  However, if we allow ourselves to eat the foods that we truly enjoy and that truly bring us pleasure, then no foods are off limits.  We can eat what we want (because we’re paying attention to our wants and our hunger levels).  We can truly enjoy what we’re eating, and stop when we feel full.  For many of us, this can be challenge.  But just trusting ourselves to eat what we want and stop when we’ve had enough can be reason to celebrate!
   

9. 9.PAY ATTENTION TO PORTION SIZES.  This may not be a popular tip in today’s world of king size this and super size that.  Pay attention to when you’re hungry.  Eat what you’re physically hungry for.  And stop eating when you’re full.  And remember, distinguish between physical hunger and emotional hunger.  If you’re physically hungry, food will fill you up.  If you’re emotionally hungry, no amount of food on the planet will satisfy you. 
   

10. 10.  KEEP WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TOP OF MIND.  Give thoughtful attention to the deepest desires you have for your body, and celebrate everything you do that moves you in the direction of those desires.
    

Up Next:  How Can Getting Happy Make You Thin?

30 Pounds In 30 Days!

 

We have all seen the ads, the claims, the promises.  Eat this food and you’ll be thin.  Drink this drink and you’ll be thin.  Take this pill and you’ll be thin.  Exercise in this way for this length of time and you’ll be thin.  Have this surgery and you’ll be thin.  

Our desperation creates fertile ground for our belief in these promises.  We want to believe that a pill or a diet or a magical cure will work for us “this time.”  We long to be thin because being thin, for many of us, represents so much more than “being thin.”  Being thin represents happiness.  Being thin represents security.  Being thin represents perfection.  Being thin represents acceptance.  Being thin represents love.  

We believe that something outside of ourselves will save us from ourselves.  We believe that the next diet plan, or the next diet book, or the diet next pill, or the next surgery will give us the body we long for.  And we believe in our hearts that having the body we long for will also give us the life we long for.  We believe that, once we are “thin” we will be happy, accepted, and loved.   Being “thin” represents so much more than being “thin.”  Being thin represents the solution to all the things about ourselves that we don’t like and would like to fix.  Being thin represents a salvation to the pain we feel when we’re fat.  Being thin represents salvation.  Being thin represents heaven on earth.

In looking for the ideal life that will happen to us when we’re thin, we forget about the present.  In anticipating a new size, or new clothes, or new measurements, we place all our ability to find pleasure in the future.  In addition to giving our power away to a diet, or a pill, or shake, or doctor, we also give our power away to the future.  And when our power lies in the future, then we find ourselves living in the present moment with a continuous flow of dissatisfaction, frustration, resentment, anger, and depression.  We aren’t happy now, but we know that, when we’re “thin,” we will be happy.

We forget about taking pleasure in the present moment.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy ourselves, in our bodies, right now.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy the pleasure of a cool breeze on our skin.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy the sounds of a bird warbling.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can be fully present and alert as we are eating delicious food.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can find something beautiful to feast our eyes upon.  We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can nourish ourselves in ways other than food.

We don’t have to wait for our weight to diminish before we can enjoy our bodies.  We don’t have to wait for our weight to diminish before we can be happy.  We can take pleasure in our physical senses today. 

Don’t wait until you’re “thin” to love your physical body and allow it to bring you pleasure.  Don’t give your power away to the future.  

Use your body to experience physical, sensory pleasure today.  

Starting now!

Up next:  Ten Tips for Weight Loss Success

What They Don't Tell You About Losing Weight

 

You’ll still have laundry.

You’ll still have dishes.

You’ll still have a few aches and pains.

You’ll still bad hair days.

You’ll still have diapers and cat litter.

You’ll still have garbage.

You’ll still vacuuming.

You’ll still have closets to clean.

You’ll still have arguments with your spouse or significant other or kids or friends.

When I was fat, I idealized being thin.  I thought that, if I could only lose weight, then my life would be perfect.  I’d have the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect apartment, the perfect car.  I thought that the stars would align.  I would be at one with the universe.   I’d attain enlightenment.  

My thinking was wrong.  “If only [you fill in the blank] would happen, then I could be happy,” was the underlying theme of these thoughts.  I was waiting to become thin.  I thought that, once I was thin, then I really would be happy.   But being thin doesn’t make you happy.  

For me, it’s more like being happy that makes you thin.

Weird, huh?

Up Next:  30 Pounds in 30 Days!

You can find me at http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com.

Food Is Not the Enemy

 

I’ve waged major battles with food.

Kristin versus Ben and Jerry.

Kristin versus Land O’Lakes butter.

Kristin versus The Vending Machine.

For so many years, my predominant way of thinking was that I had no self control.  I felt completely powerless over food.   If I found myself within 100 feet of food, I’d feel desperate.  If food was there, I would have to eat it, whether I liked it or not.  For years, I felt that I had no choice in the matter.    And during those years, my thoughts began with, “I can’t. . .” or “I don’t. . .”  or “I shouldn’t have. . .” or “I should have. . .” 

Of course, during those years, my weight fluctuated dramatically--over 200 pounds of body weight was gained and lost and gained and lost in the course of my adult life.  

I thought the enemy was food.  But it was never food.  The enemy was always my perception and my thinking, and the battleground was always in my mind rather than in my refrigerator or on the dinner table. 

When I realized that the only way to win the battle was to surrender to truth and to surrender to reality and to surrender to pleasure and to surrender to joy, then my body weight began to change.  But it was only by changing my perspective that I was able to change my weight.  It was only by choosing to view my body with love and kindness and compassion that I was able to release weight.  And it is only by making the daily choice to view my body with gratitude and appreciation that I am able to maintain a healthful weight. 

When we surrender to the truth of what is, we can truly be free. 

Up Next:  What They Don’t Tell You About Losing Weight

Visit me at http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com

Our Bodies Love to Move

I just returned from spending the evening with a good friend of mine I haven’t seen in several months.

It was wonderful to reconnect with her.  

And I noticed that over the past several months, she’s released a lot of weight from her body.

“What have you been doing?” I asked.

“Nothing, really,” she said.

“Have you been exercising?”  I pushed.

“No, I’ve just been really happy.  And busy,” she replied.

My friend has not been working out with weights or running on a treadmill or doing yoga or pilates or the elliptical machine at the gym.  But I have a feeling that she’s been deriving a lot of pleasure from moving her body, because she was happy.

I believe that there is a strong correlation between feelings of well-being and body weight.  Maybe the best calorie burner we have yet is the simple state of happiness!

Up Next:  Food Is Not the Enemy

And visit my website:  http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com

Are You Worth It?

 

Do you deserve to be happy?

Do you deserve to love your physical self?

Do you deserve to feel at ease in your body?

Do you deserve to treat yourself well?

Do you deserve to see yourself as beautiful?

Do you deserve to enjoy every aspect of your physical self?

Do you deserve to pay close attention to what pleases you?

Do you deserve to live your life from a place of deliberate and conscious intention?

Do you deserve to consider the far-reaching effects of discovering how precious your human body is?

Do you deserve to eat only food you love?

Do you deserve to pay attention to what you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself?

Do you deserve to change your view of yourself?

Do you deserve to take total responsibility for your capacity to feel pleasure?

Do you deserve to experience beauty through each of your five senses, every day?

Do you deserve to make your own joy, peace, delight, and happiness the number one priority in your life?

Do you deserve to be happy?

Are you worth it?

Up Next:  Our Bodies Love to Move!