Lose Weight Through Pleasure

My Mother's Body

2010-08-19T09:10:00.001-07:00

My mom is 89 years old. She’s in a rehab facility.

It’s hard for her to move, but she’s moving.

It’s hard for her to get out of her chair, but she gets the job done (after a few preparatory pushes).

It’s hard for her to walk, but every day she walks just a little farther.

It’s easy for her to joke with the medical types about smoking cornsilk as a kid with her friends behind the barn.

It’s easy for her to laugh about her “sin twister,” a lady in the facility who was wearing an identical housecoat to my mom’s, and whose birthday is one day after my mom’s.

It’s easy for her be silly with a tech who shares the same name as me.

I think her laughter, silliness, jokes, and desire will get her moving, out of the chair, and back to her apartment.

I am grateful for my mother’s body.

14 Miles

2010-02-28T12:10:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, I did it!

I ran farther than I’ve ever run in my life.

It was fun, for the most part. Temperatures were in the 20s. The sun was out. And the route was varied, winding through neighborhoods, bordering the campus of the local university, and following some bike trails. The big challenge of the route, for many of us, was remaining upright in spite of the many patches of ice.

I was fortunate to run a couple of miles with an experienced marathoner. She completed an ultra marathon this summer, so for a couple miles, I felt like I was hanging out with a celebrity! Because I still feel new to the whole running thing, I always try to ask questions of experienced distance runners. I know someone who has completed 10 marathons knows more than someone who has yet to complete one, and I try to learn from everything they say. And yesterday, from this running celebrity, I learned that the 20-mile long run is an important confidence builder. I also learned that there is an incline in the Lincoln Marathon that happens at around mile 25. Under normal circumstances, that small hill would be really doable. But when you’ve already done 25 and have 1.2 more to go, it can seem overwhelming.

The other thing I’m learning (and re-learning and re-learning) is to maintain focus. That’s the big challenge. It’s easy focus intently at the beginning, when you’re excited and fresh and can’t wait to get going! But when you’re tired, when you’ve been out for two hours, and when your feet are sore, it’s easy to become distracted and not pay attention to what is right in front of you. So for me, staying mentally focused at the end of a run is as challenging as physically putting one foot in front of the other.

Running continues to be a great metaphor for life.

The race is nine weeks away.

And today I’m resting.

Tomorrow!

2010-02-28T12:08:00.001-08:00

I’m nervous.

It’s 14 miles tomorrow.

A milestone.

Farther than I’ve ever run.

I don’t know what it’s going to be like.

I’ve been eating well, and sleeping well, and staying hydrated.

And I’ve been doing my shorter runs during the week.

Last Saturday, I ran 12 and felt fine.

I have a mantra that I say over and over to myself as I run. “Healthy. Healthy. Healthy. Healthy.” That’s my big goal. I want to finish each training run healthy. I want to get to the starting line of the marathon healthy. And I want to finish the marathon healthy.

Healthy.

Friday, February 26, 2010

"Stay With It!"

2010-02-28T12:07:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, I ran my second half marathon!

It was hill after hill after hill after hill. Whoever said Kansas is flat is wrong!

The weather was cool and so foggy that you couldn’t see the top of the some of the hills.

It was hard.

Particularly at mile 12.

There was a steep hill at mile 12.

As I was running toward it, a man was running toward me--the wrong way! (Actually, I found out later he was one of several ultra marathoners, who, after running the 13.1 miles from Topeka to Auburn, turned around and ran 13.1 moremiles, from Auburn back to Topeka.)

I didn’t know if I could make it up that hill. As the ultra marathoner and I met, I said, “There’s another hill!”

“Stay with it! You’re almost there!” he encouraged me.

And those three words, “Stay with it!” were my mantra for the next 12 minutes!

And I finished, and I met each of my goals! I finished! I ran the entire way! And I eclipsed my time goal!

Here are a few things I learned during the race:

1. The power of support. You can’t achieve a big goal without support. I stayed with one of my best friends in the world while I was in Topeka, and was able to relax into the support she provided me, from fabulous fresh-baked bread and a fantastic stew the night before the race, to a comfortable bed, to a fantastic tub for my post-race cold soak, to delicious chocolate chip cheesecake after the race, to delightful and meaningful conversations.
2.The power of team work. I am so grateful for the organizers and volunteers who handed out Gatorade and water at the aid stations, who monitored the course on bikes and in cars to make sure all the runners were safe, who served us pancakes after the race, the photographer who got shots of all the runners and posted them on his website.

3. The power of surrounding yourself with successful people. Each person who ran that race was successful, and it was a joy to chat with. . .

•the lady from Minneapolis who said, “I’m slow, but I get the job done!”
•the gentleman from Topeka who used this race as part of his training for the Eugene Marathon.
•the kind lady at the start of the race who, having run half marathon many times, said, “It’s challenging, but doable,” when I was expressed concern about the hills.
•the experienced marathoner who won her age group and said to me during the pancake feed, said, “This is one of the hardest half marathons around!”

But what will stay with me forever was the brief encounter at mile 12 with the runner who said, “Stay with it!”

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Race Day Goals

2010-02-28T12:05:00.000-08:00

In two days, I’ll be participating in my second half marathon. I’m excited and nervous! I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished during the past few months, and yet I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen on the day of the race.

I tend to be an all or nothing thinker, and so when someone suggested, a few months ago, to have three different goals for a race, I was intrigued and curious.

First, my running mentor said, have an attainable goal, a goal you know you can accomplish and feel good about.

Second, have a moderately-challenging goal--one that you might have to push a little to achieve, and yet you feel you can do it.

And third, have a very challenging goal, one that could happen for you if the stars align in perfect order on race day.

And so, my goals for the race this weekend are this:

My attainable goal is to finish the race. 13.1 miles is a long distance to go. I’ll be running on a course I’ve not run on before. There are some significant hills, and of course it’s January on the Great Plains. Weather conditions could change suddenly, and who knows what the wind will be like. But I’ve been training for the race for the past several months, and I feel confident that I can finish it.

My moderately-challenging goal is to run the entire way: no stopping, no walking. Run it all. I think I can do that, too.

And my very-challenging goal is a time goal. I’d like to finish it within 15 minutes my time in last May’s half marathon. I’d be really proud to see the clock say 2:37 when I cross the finish line.

Who knows what will happen on race day?

At this point I’m putting my faith in my training that I’ve done for the past few months. I’m intending that the weather be beautiful.

And most importantly, I am intending to listen to my body during the race, and find pleasure in 13.1 miles of eastern Kansas terrain.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Ann Ringlein's Marathon Justification Speech

2010-02-28T12:04:00.001-08:00

Ann Ringlein is a competitive runner, manager of Lincoln Running Company and track coach at Nebraska Wesleyan University. She also leads, guides, teaches, and mentors the YMCA Marathon Training Class. She has kindly permitted me to pass this on to you. Enjoy!

From first hand experience I can tell you that training for a marathon/half-marathon takes tremendous dedication. The time and energy does not come easy in today’s busy life. Trying to fit in the miles often cuts into your time for sleep, at a point when your body actually requires more. To get this training you often have to hurry, and even skip meals, during a time when your body’s nutritional requirements are at an all time high. To top it off, your family, friends and business associates will offer you about as much sympathy for your plight as if you had a hangover! And to think we haven’t even discussed the physical pain and exhaustion of the actual event!

Now, I just hope that I can explain it in words. You have heard that nothing good comes easy. Nowhere is this more true than at mile 13 in the half-marathon and at mile 26 in the marathon! To understand the difficult of running 13 and 26 miles is one thing, but what is the good that comes from it? Once again, from experience I can tell you the accomplishment of running a half-marathon and a marathon will have life long effects. Putting a problem into perspective, studying possible solutions, overcoming obstacles and meeting your objectives are all part of this training. Your success will carry over into your business and your family life. The half-marathon/marathon is a crash course in time management. So often we are reactive and not proactive in life. Well, training for these distances will help us attack life with a plan! Many of life’s problems on the surface seem insurmountable, much like running continuously for 13.1 or 26.2 miles! To train for these distances, you need a plan. In this class we will research the subject, look to experts, and devise a plan.

The distance runner’s lifestyle is a healthy one. When training for these distances, you naturally begin living better. Knowing that you have a long run on Saturday will keep you out of trouble on Friday night! Know that you have a late afternoon run will assure you avoid a high-fat lunch. And unlike diets and promises, these lifestyle changes are easier because they’re part of a commitment of a bigger picture. You are taking the first steps into what will be the adventure of a lifetime! And, I hope, this will be a lifestyle for you forever!

The wonderful thing about about all of this is that you have this class. You are all going through this together. Some of you are first-time half-marathoners; some of you are first-time marathoners; some of you have run a half-marathon before, and some here have run many marathons. You all have something to add to this class and to share with each other. You will also learn something from each other and from yourselves. The best part of all this is, you have each other to count on to be there for the Tuesday and Thursday night runs; you have each other to help out on the long runs Saturdays--basically you are not alone and that is priceless! Enjoy each other, this process and the success it brings you in all aspects of your life.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Marathon Training Begins Today!

2010-02-28T12:02:00.000-08:00

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Training for the Lincoln Marathon/Half Marathon has officially begun. Woo hoo! Here we go!

This morning I had my first long run with my training class. I’m lucky that the local YMCA offers a class during the next four months to prepare people of all levels and abilities to run either the full or half-marathon.

Today was bone-chillingly cold, something like -4 degrees. And my schedule called for eight miles. While I was getting up and getting around in the pre-dawn hours, my head wasn’t in the game: “It’s so early. It’s dark. It’s really, really cold. Do I really want to do this? It’s the dead of winter. Do I really need to do this? What’s the point, anyway? Ugh. This sucks.”

But I layered up, got my gear together, met up with the group at the Y, and together we braved the Arctic air mass.

It really wasn’t too bad. In fact, it was actually fun! Considering that it wasn’t snowing, and there was no wind at all, the running part felt sort of easy. Of course, ice formed on everyone’s eyebrows and eyelashes, which were the only parts of most people’s faces you could see. There were a few icy patches on the roads. And at the turn-around point, my legs didn’t feel as great as they had four miles earlier. But I enjoyed chatting with several people during the run. I loved hearing them share stories of past marathons and other runners. In fact, one runner said, “I run so I can eat!” Me, too.

So, what’s the point of all this anyway? Have you ever seen a little kid run? Or a dog run? Have you seen the look of sheer delight and pleasure and fun that they’re having?

Running is fun, even in cold weather!

Mindless Eating

2010-02-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

This is a topic I’m an expert in.

I’ve had years of practical experience.

I’ve eaten mindlessly in movie theaters.

I’ve eaten mindlessly at my desk at work.

I’ve eaten mindlessly in my car.

I’ve eaten mindless in other people’s cars.

I’ve eaten mindlessly in front of the television.

I’ve eaten mindlessly in meetings.

I’ve eaten mindlessly in my bedroom.

I’ve eaten mindlessly while standing in front of the refrigerator, wondering what I should eat.

And mindless eating was a direct reflection of my mindless living.

The less aware I was of what I put in my mouth, the less aware I was of how I lived my life.

Mindless eating for me was all about mindless living.

But when I infused pleasure into eating, mindlessness was replaced by mindfulness.

And I began to really taste my food.

I began to take pleasure in every aspect of food.

And as I took pleasure in food, I began to take pleasure in every aspect of my life.

The ripple effect of pleasure is far-reaching. . . .

Up Next: Fat-Acceptance v. Anti-Obesity--Is There a Middle Way?

Flying While Fat

2010-02-24T11:18:00.001-08:00

I watched with great interest the news about director Kevin Smith’s being kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight because he was too fat. And I watched with interest the reaction to this event. I heard impassioned, nationally televised statements made by activists in the fat acceptance movement as well as activists in the anti-obesity movement.

And whether or not Southwest was right to ask him to leave a flight for which he was already is not the point of this blog entry. What interests me are the ideas expressed on both sides of the issue, and the underlying beliefs they reveal, and what they mean to me and to everyone who has released weight, or is in the process of releasing weight.

Kevin Smith himself said, “I am fat, and that’s how I conduct myself in this life.” I applaud him for making that statement. I applaud him for accepting 100 percent responsibility for his body weight. I applaud him for not blaming his weight issue on anything other than his personal choice.

And on the other side of this issue, a fat acceptance activist said that being heavy is not a choice. “Within three to five years, 93 to 95 percent of dieters gain back all the weight plus. So there’s really no way to make a fat person thin,” she said. This struck a nerve with me, particularly because, only a few years ago, I was fat. And now my weight is at a healthy place for my body. So clearly, you can make a fat person thin. I did it.

Unfortunately, implicit in this statement are ideas that, if the odds are that we’re just going to gain the weight back anyway, why bother? What’s the use? It must be hopeless, because that’s what the statistics tell us it is. We might as well give up, because it’s just not worth the effort. If we’re destined to lose the war, why would we even want to start fighting the battle?

As a formerly unhealthy fat person who has released a lot of weight, I know the odds are against me. I’ve lived much of my adult life surrounded by 40 to 50 extra pounds of weight. Genetically, I’m predisposed towards weight gain, as my mother is heavy, as were both my maternal and paternal grandmothers. I know that the road a fat person travels is not an easy one. I know what it’s like to be fat and invisible. I know that the road to a healthy body weight can seem overwhelming and scary and frustrating. I know that there are times when you may feel like giving up and that it’s just not worth the effort--that there’s no way you can change what seems to be your destiny. But the road to a healthy weight and a healthy loving relationship with your body doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. It is possible to love who you are, to accept who you are in this moment, and move in this moment towards feelings of health and vitality and wellness--and a healthy body weight!

And it is so worth the effort. It is so worth feeling energized where once you felt paralyzed. It is so worth feeing strong and fit where before you felt breathless from walking around the block. It is so worth being able to move your body easily through space, where before it was a struggle just to lift yourself off the couch.

I know that I could easily slip back into unhealthy behavior. But here’s the key that most diets don’t emphasize, and here’s my personal secret to releasing and maintaining weight: be vigilant and protective of your thoughts, and always focus on what your deepest desire. Always focus on what you really, really want. In any situation, ask, “What is the outcome I’m really seeking?” Answer this question, “What will bring me the most pleasure?” For me, today, what brings me the most pleasure will be found in choosing a tangelo over a donut, or enjoying the moonlight during a snowy nighttime run, or simply thanking my body for serving me so incredibly well during the past 48 years.

Yes, the odds are against all of us. But with pleasure and desire as our rock, our touchstone, our guiding light, I know that we can beat the odds.

For more information on my philosophy of releasing weight and services I offer, please visit my website: http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com or e-mail me directly at nannerl123@yahoo.com.

Up Next: Mindless Eating

Celebrate Everything!

2010-01-06T16:43:00.001-08:00

We are coming out of a season of celebrations. Many of us are celebrating that 2009 is behind us, and a beautiful, clean, fresh, and exciting new year is just beginning. We’ve made our resolutions, set our goals, created a vision of ourselves and our future in 2010, and now we begin to live our life.

If your resolutions involve any attempt at self-improvement, whether it be losing weight, eating better, exercising more, or getting more rest, I would invite you to think about how you will celebrate your progress.

Celebrate everything you do that moves you in the direction you want to go. If you went for a walk on your lunch hour, celebrate that! If you took the stairs instead of the elevator, celebrate that! If you chose an apple rather something from the break room’s vending machine, celebrate that! Give your attention to appreciating and acknowledging each thing you do that moves you in the direction of your desires.

During my weight release journey, I knew that I was going to need lots and lots of rewards and acknowledgement, because I was changing deep-seated behavioral patterns and beliefs about who I was and what I deserved.

I knew that I was going to have to continually reinforceevery positive behavior, every positive change I was making.

And yet, for so much of my life, I celebrated my successes with food. Finishing a big project at school definitely called for dinner out. Winning an award at work definitely required ice cream. Finishing a long week definitely called for a weekend movie, and that weekend movie called buttered popcorn, candy, and soft drinks.

But I knew, as I was releasing weight, that I was going to have to celebrate my success without turning to food. I knew that I was going to have to find non-food ways to reward myself for releasing weight, for moving my body, and for eating healthfully.

For releasing weight, I chose to reward myself for every five pounds I lost. For intentionally being active and for eating healthfully, I became the the queen of stickers. And when I achieved my weight-release goal, I took a trip! Non-food rewards (flowers, notecards, pretty things, clothes, shoes, magazines, etc.) played a huge role in keeping me motivated through this intense journey.

What are some changes you’re looking forward to celebrating this year? And what will be your non-food ways to reward yourself?

Up Next: Food--Fuel or Love?

How to Motivate Yourself to Go for a Walk in Cold Weather

2010-01-05T18:41:00.000-08:00

“I just need the motivation to drag myself out in the cold to walk,” one of my friends said yesterday.

Let me tell you, I hear that. I so get it. I know just how he feels. So. . . here’s what motivates me to be physically active outside during the coldest months of the year.

Gratitude. Every day, I express gratitude that I am alive and am healthy. And moving my body is one way that I thank it for being there for me over the years. Last year, for a few weeks, I wasn’t able to run outdoors, and so when I did to return to the pavement, I felt enormous gratitude and thankfulness. It’s funny. Sometimes being told you “can’t” do something makes you want to do it all the more. And every day that I run is a day that I’m grateful.

Accomplishment. I like to get things done. And when I’ve walked (or run) outside, I feel like I accomplished something. It makes me proud. Especially in the winter, when snow, ice, wind, drifts, and cold make me feel that I’ve achieved something special.

Invigoration. Running outdoors in January really gets the juices flowing, and I’m not just talking about my circulatory system. Running outdoors clears my head, gives me time to think, and it helps me become very focussed on what is precisely in front of me. It helps me focus on the here and now. When I’m navigating a little patch of ice, or enjoying a freshly-shoveled sidewalk, I’m not thinking about what happened yesterday or what is going to happen tomorrow.

The reward. For me, my post-run reward is a warm bath, a hot beverage, and warm fleecy clothes.

Fun. Believe it or not, running outside in January is fun. I’ve now been doing this running thing outside for an entire calendar year now, I’ve discovered that winter running is so much easier and satisfying than running in brutal heat of August. The invigoration, the challenge, the “me versus the elements” is exciting and maybe even a little dramatic, and drama and excitement can be very, very pleasurable!

Up Next: Celebrate Everything!

"Drop Up To 17 Pounds Without Trying"

2010-01-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

“Is Your Thyroid Making You Fat?”

“Increase Your Weight Loss By A Whopping 70%”

“Drop 2 Dress Sizes In Just Minutes A Day.”

“Discover the Natural Fat Loss Magnet.”

“Lose Up to 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks”

These are the subject lines of e-mails I’ve received in the past few weeks.

My favorite? “Drop Up To 17 Pounds Without Trying.”

We want things to happen fast.

We want things to be easy.

And we want dramatic, miraculous change with little or no effort on our part. “Without trying” we want to shed the result of years of poor choices (and poor thinking) in “just six weeks.”

What we want is a miracle, and the desire for a miracle pushes us to look for miracles in the form a pill, or a berry, or a shake, or a diet, or a surgery, or a reality television program . . .

And while those miracles can create amazing, fast, and dramatic transformations, in many cases, those transformations are external. However, for people who are successful in releasing excess weight and living their life in a lighter body, the biggest transformation is not an external one. It’s internal.

The biggest change happens when we change our thinking. The biggest change happens when we realize that nothing outside of ourselves can really give us what we want. Sure, some of those things can provide a quick fix, but the most lasting path to healthful, lasting weight loss happens when we change our thinking, when we change our beliefs about ourselves and our worth and “deservingness,” and it happens when we intentionally begin to say kind things to ourselves and treat ourselves as we would our best friend.

The secret to successful weight loss? It’s not about transforming your body.

It’s about transforming your thinking.

It really is a inside job.

Up Next: How to Motivate Yourself to Go for A Walk in Cold Weather

How I Came to Love the E-Word

2010-01-03T18:19:00.001-08:00

For much of my life, I hated exercise.

The more I hated it, the more I ate. And the more I ate, the larger I became. The larger I became, the harder it was to move. And the more difficult it was for me to move, the more I hated even attempting exercise. Of course, I knew physical activity was good for me. I knew that regular exercise would reduce my risk of diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis, high cholesterol, cancer, etc. Knowing what to do was not the problem. The problem was that I simply didn’t like doing it!

I also knew that creating a healthy relationship with my body was important. In fact, I felt it to be one of the most profound lessons of my life.

I wanted to get in the best possible shape I could, and paying attention to what I put in my mouth was not the only thing I was going to have to do. It was time time to bite the bullet, and do what I hated to do--exercise.

But I also knew that I had to make it fun if I was going to stick with it. I had to find a way infuse exercise with pleasure and joy.

Because we experience pleasure through our five senses, I began to make my exercise time a sensory experience. I started walking very slowly, 15 minutes in one direction, and 15 minutes back. But on those walks, I intentionally engaged all of my senses. On those walks, I really began to look at my environment--the squirrels playing, the dogs yelping, the ducks in the creek, and the camels behind the fence at the children’s zoo. I started paying attention to smells, whether it was the barnyard smell of the ponies, or fresh cut grass. And I began to listen for sounds that I normally ignored, like cicadas and crickets or the chatter of squirrels.

Each walk became a sensory experience.

A funny thing happened: I started to enjoy my walks. Then I started look forward to them and take pleasure in them. And the more pleasure I found in them, the more fun they became, and the more fun they became, the easier they were to do!

And before I knew it, walking morphed into running! And now running is one of the great pleasures of my life.

But it started with the decision to infuse pleasure into exercise.

How can you infuse pleasure into your New Year’s Resolution to be more active?

What can you do today to make exercise fun?

Up next: “Drop 17 Pounds Without Trying”

On New Year's Resolutions

2010-01-02T18:39:00.000-08:00

I have no shortage of “resolutions.” Goal-setting comes easily and naturally to me. I write my goals down. I share them with other people. I visualize their being accomplished. And I attach a time frame to them.

And for the next few days or weeks, many of us will be on a honeymoon with our resolutions. We’re going to be enthusiastic. We’re going to be motivated. We’ll be at the gym six out of seven days. We’ll be eating lots of celery and apples and carrots. We’ll shed those unwanted pounds once and for all. This year, we really will get in shape and be fit. We really will look better and feel better. And this year, we’ll be different! This year, we’ll stick to all of our resolutions.

Then life happens, and the dog throws up, the kids scream at each other, your spouse snaps at you, and your boss throws you a few surprises. So when you get home, all you want to do is sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and eat.

Resolutions are wonderful, but what will bring those resolutions into reality is this: having a plan for the tough days, for when the road is rough, when the course is challenging, and when the ideal and the real collide. And here are a few ideas that may help.

Take the middle way. Embrace the middle ground. Shun all or nothing thinking. Know that slip-ups are normal, and that we seldom progress is a continuous, straight line. Unplanned brownies can suddenly appear in front of you, and it can feel like you have no choice but to eat them. Unasked-for donuts may call your name from the break room. A surprise pizza may materialize in a meeting. So, if you eat a brownie, a donut, or a piece of pizza, enjoy it. Relish it and take delight in it. And as soon as you feel thoughts of self-recrimination and guilt, begin to forgive yourself for slip-ups and treat yourself with patience and love.

Look at the big picture. When I feel frustrated that my resolutions aren’t happening as fast as I’d like, I purposefully review where I was last year, or five years ago, or even ten years ago. This helps me realize how far I’ve come, and it reminds me that minor setbacks are simply that. Minor.

Embrace “Plan B.” This is a hard one for me. I like to accomplish things, and I must admit I tend toward perfectionism in some areas. I like things to go my way. Unfortunately, the way I “think” things should go isn’t always the way things always turn out. So, if the scale moves up when I think it should go down, I simply say to myself, “That’s good information to have,” and I consciously think about everything that went right for me in the past week. For me, a big part of “Plan B” is focussing on the good.

And so, approach your resolutions with moderation and patience. Look at how far you’ve come. And have a back-up plan. With this three-pronged approach, next year at this time, your resolutions may no longer be resolutions. They’ll be accomplishments to be celebrated!

Up Next: How I Came to Love the E-Word

Running on Ice in January

2010-01-01T17:44:00.000-08:00

I went for a run today.

While the rest of my city quietly slept off New Year’s Eve, I was climbing what seemed like Himalayan ice mounds and maneuvering my way over partially-shoveled sidewalks.

It was cold. Eleven degrees above zero. My nose started running almost as soon as I stepped outside.

And throughout the first half of this run, I kept thinking, “Man, why am I doing this? Most sane people are indoors right now. Why the heck am I out here? Yahoo weather says it’s eleven degrees above zero. This is a drag. The wind is really gonna be tough on the way back. Do I have enough layers on? I sure hope I don’t fall. Why couldn’t those people shovel their sidewalks?”

Those were my thoughts. I was whining pathetically about being out in the cold. Then I remembered what an experienced marathoner told me last July. He said, “You do know that running is 99 percent in your head, don’t you?” I just nodded. But today was the day that I knew that running is way more mental than physical. I knew that, if I was going to complete this run, I had to adjust my thinking. I knew I needed to remind myself the real reasons for my suffering through the pain of wintertime running.

And so I started talking to myself. Instead of whining about the cold conditions, I began to think about what I really want out of my running.

My most immediate reason for “doing this” is that I’m preparing for a half marathon in sixteen days, and I want to stick to my schedule. I want to do as well as I possibly can and I want to achieve my goals for this race to the best of my ability.

My second reason for “doing this” is that I like a challenge. Running outdoors in the winter can be a challenge. Right now, it’s particularly challenging because the snow from last week’s blizzard hasn’t melted, the north wind is brutal, and the overall temperature is really, really cold. So after each run, I return to my apartment feeling exhilarated, knowing that I really accomplished something!

But finally, running is fun, regardless of the season. And that’s what I focused on today. “Running is fun. Running is fun. I like to run. Running is fun,” were the words I said to myself, over and over and over. And fun it is!

It’s fun to cross paths with other runners and feel like we’re part of an elite club--the few, the proud, the January runners. It’s fun to enjoy the snow men (and snow dogs) in people’s yards. It’s fun to think about where I was 45 pounds ago, and where I am today, and to know that running has played a big role in achieving and maintaining a healthy body weight.

Someone said, “Running tells us the good news about ourselves.” That’s true.

Running makes me feel good.

Running makes me happy.

Running makes me smile.

Up Next: On New Year’s Resolutions

How to Get What You Want

2009-09-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I came across F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “21 Pieces of Advice to His Daughter on Living.” His simple yet profound list concludes with the suggestion, “Think about: what am I really aiming at?”

Those six words--What am I really aiming at?--have stayed with me for the past two decades. And during my weight-release journey, I found myself continually focussing, then refocussing, then refocussing again--on what I was aiming at, on what I really wanted, and on what my deepest desires were. And I made some discoveries along the way.

Here are a few:

1.Write down what you’re aiming at. Most people don’t take the time to do this. But this simple action is one of the most powerful things you can do. And the good news is that this concept doesn’t pertain solely to releasing weight. It pertains to life.
2.Tell somebody what you’ve written down. When I finally figured out, at age 45, what it was I was aiming at (to get in the best shape of my life), I sat across from one of my closest friends in a coffee shop, and read her my list. And she read me her list as well. Having a consistent support and encouragement along this journey is a key component in being successful.
3.Be your own best friend. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Speak to yourself affirmatively. Immerse yourself in “I am” statements. The more you talk to yourself in a positive, loving way, the more lovingly and compassionately you will treat yourself. And these “I am” statements will lead you toward taking the action that will get you the results you want.

Figuring out what it is you’re aiming at, writing it down, telling somebody about it, and repeatedly affirming your goal or desire to yourself in a positive way are the most powerful, most effective, and most lasting ways to release weight through pleasure.

For more information and a complementary 30-minute weight loss consultation, contact Dr. Kristin Heslop at 402-438-0108 or nannerl123@yahoo.com.

Up Next: What Happened to My Willpower?

Tis More Blessed to Receive than to Give

2009-09-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

There’s something to be said for the skill of receiving complements.

Complement: “That’s a great dress!”

Response: “Oh, this old thing? It’s a million years old. I really need to go shopping.”

Complement: “I love your haircut!”

Response: “Really? Can’t y0u tell the bangs are uneven?”

Complement: “You have such amazing children.”

Response: “Yeah, but they’re driving me crazy!”

Why do we, on so many occasions, diminish the complements we’re given? Is it that we don’t want to appear arrogant, conceited, or narcissistic? Is it because we think, by responding with a self-deprecating remark, we’re being humble? Is it because we’ve been told not to think too highly of ourselves? Is it because we, as women, spend so much time acknowledging, praising, nurturing, and caring for others that it is hard for us to allow ourselves to be cared for with kind expressions of appreciation?

This is a phenomenon I’ve noticed a lot recently, and it seems that many of us find it difficult to receive a complement. So often, throughout the course of my life, I’ve been given a complement and felt compelled to argue with it, deny it, or reject it in some way. And what I’m discovering is that when we diminish a complement with our words, it’s as if we have taken a beautiful gift and tossed it in the trash. Someone has taken the time and the effort to praise us in some way, and when we demean the complement in a misguided effort to be humble, we put up blocks and barriers to receiving more goodness (and more complements) in our lives.

In a way, I think this is related to our inability to complement ourselves. I think it’s related to our inability to recognize the fantastic magnificence of our lives. I think it’s related to our view of ourselves and our lives and our worthiness and sense of deservingness. I think it’s related our being more comfortable in the realm of self-deprecation than in the realm of self-appreciation.

I have a friend who is beginning to focus on what is right in her life. The more she focusses on celebrating her life, the more she has to celebrate. As she’s learning to view her life as amazing, wonderful, and worthy of praise, she’s becoming skilled in the art of accepting a complement. Over the past few years, I’ve seen her move from the “This old thing?” mentality to the simple “Thank you so much! I like it, too!” point of view.

The next time you someone complements you, consider paying close attention to your response.

Do you instantly denying the complement in some way? Do you find yourself wanting to argue with the person who complemented you? Do you find the complement difficult to hear?

Or do you find yourself simply saying, “Thank you”?

Up Next: How to Get What You Want

When People Make Comments About Your Food Choices

2009-09-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

I ate a brownie the other day.

And this event elicited a comment from one of the people I was with.

The implication was that, since I’ve lost weight and am helping others lose weight as well, I should not be eating brownies.

(If I had deprived myself of that brownie, there’s a possibility that, after this meeting, I would have driven directly to the grocery store, bought an entire pan of brownies from the bakery department, and eaten them all in my car on the way home. However, in the meeting, I chose not to deprive myself of that brownie. Instead, I enjoyed it, relished it, took pleasure in it, and felt grateful that someone had taken the time to prepare it.)

The comment about my brownie-eating activity, to me, felt like sabotage. It didn’t feel good. But it did get me to thinking about what I really wanted. The comment, which was something I did not want, pointed me in the direction of something I did want. And what I want is what most people who deal with weight issues want.

We want support. We want encouragement. We want recognition and acknowledgement for our efforts and for our successes and for our choices.

For me, allowing myself to thoroughly enjoy that brownie in the presence of others was victory. If I had eaten a pan of brownies in the isolation of my car, that would have felt like failure.

For me, taking pleasure in the warm, chewy, chocolaty, brownie goodness was a cause to celebrate. Eating cold brownies from a grocery store would have caused me to revert to old patterns of thinking.

And sometimes, when the people in our lives don’t provide us with the support we think we want in the manner in which we want it, it becomes important for us to celebrate ourselves. It becomes important for us to encourage ourselves. It becomes important to turn up the volume on saying kind things to ourselves, on treatingourselves well, and on loving ourselves.

If you feel that, on occasion, you encounter sabotage, look that sabotage as a clear and direct signal for you to treat yourself like the precious creature you are.

Up Next: ‘Tis More Blessed to Receive than to Give

Forgiveness and Weight Loss

2009-09-14T19:26:00.001-07:00

I’m good at holding a grudge. And I’m not so good at forgiving.

If I feel someone has irritated me, or hurt me, or wronged me, or betrayed my trust, or disappointed me in some way, viewing that person with kind, compassionate, and loving thoughts can present somewhat of a challenge. Forgiving others definitely does not come naturally to me. Blessing those I find irritating can be difficult. Wishing them well seems out of my grasp. And feeling love toward those who have hurt me is usually not my first response.

I have a hard time forgiving others.

But sometimes I think the person I have the hardest time forgiving is myself.

Many of us who are overweight or who have been overweight have lived lives filled with pain. But the ironic thing is that the deepest pain we experience usually is not inflicted on us from the outside world. The pain we experience on a soul-level seems to comes from our internal mindset about our bodies and our lives and who we are as human beings. We betray ourselves and our bodies through what we tell ourselves about our faces, our legs, our stomachs, our breasts, our hair, our skin, our bottoms, our arms. . . While our external world may be unkind, our internal world can be ruthless.

And so the question becomes, how can I forgive myself for treating myself unkindly? I recently came across an idea in Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love which suggests that, when we forgive, we focus on the good, and the rest falls away. And nowhere does this idea apply more than to weight loss. As we focus on the good, or as I like to call it, the beauty in our physical bodies, the rest (or the weight that is no longer needed) falls away. As we focus on the joy and delight and pleasure and goodness of being alive in this amazing human body, the weight comes off. As we focus on loving and adoring every inch of our precious physical vehicle, we shift our view of who we are and what we deserve. As we focus on the amazing sensual pleasures in simply being alive in our body, we become more motivated to cherish it and love it in ways that feel wonderful to us.

If you feel like you may be struggling with losing a few pounds (or more), consider, for the next week, focussing on “the good” in your body. If you feel like the weight will never come off, consider cherishing and loving your physical self in ways you’ve never done before. Forgiveness is really about focussing on the good. As you focus on the goodness of your amazing human body, forget about numbers. Forget about the number on the scale, or the number on your jean’s waistband, or the number of pills you take. And instead, remember and acknowledge the the truth of who you are. Focus on the good. You will be releasing thoughts (and weight) which no longer serve you.

Up Next: When People Make Comments About Your Food

"Exercise Is Such a Drag!"

2009-09-04T10:26:00.001-07:00

If you’re anything like I was, these words might express your predominant feelings about exercise.

And believe me, I understand. I so understand. And I totally relate.

I remember being one of the rounder little girls in elementary school. I remember going to gym class in first or second grade, and having to climb a rope. (To this day, I don’t see why it’s important for a first grader to climb a rope.) And I was the worst rope climber in my class. I couldn’t do it. And as one of the heavier kids in grade school, I was consistently one of the last kids to be picked for any sort of team. Then in high school, I was required to take one year of physical education, and my lack of physical coordination earned me a grade of C.

And so, for the first 45 or so years of my life, to me, exercise was a drag. Of course, smattered along the course of these 45 years were New Year’s Resolutions, aerobics classes, Jane Fonda videos, and some intense and frustrating events on Stairmasters and in weight rooms. But none of these experiences ever lasted very long. None of them really took, because I told myself, time and time again, “I hate this. Exercise is such a drag.” Exercise was something that I knew, intellectually, was good for me, but it was something that I could never quite commit to.

Until. . .

I made a conscious, intentional, and determined shift in my thinking.

It wasn’t until I shifted what I said to myself about myself that I was able to move into the realm of actually enjoying moving my body. With almost 50 pounds of excess weight on my body, I began to notice things about my physical self that I liked. And it wasn’t easy, to begin with. But the more I did it, the easier it got. I began to be grateful for my legs, which allowed me to walk up a flight of stairs. I began to be grateful for my wrists, which allowed me to grip a pen, hold a steering wheel, wash a fork, and hold a musical instrument. I began to be grateful for my eyes, which allowed me to see beauty everywhere I looked. I began to be grateful for my big toe, which allowed me to be mobile and balanced.

As I approved of my overweight body, and appreciated the pleasure I could experience in my overweight body, I began to want to care for it in a more loving way. I began to want to eat more healthful food. I began to want to move it in a way that was fun for me. I began to set an intention of getting in the best shape of my life.

As I acknowledged all the amazing things that my body could do for me, I began to actually enjoy moving it. I started out going for a brief walk. Then it expanded into a longer walk. Then it morphed into running short distances. And then the distances increased. And now I consider myself a distance runner.

Transformation is possible. For me, my thoughts of “Exercise is such a drag!” morphed into “I love to run.”

The key to this? Loving, approving, and appreciating your body, as it is right now, regardless of the number on the scale.

Up next: Forgiveness and Weight Loss

Eat What You Love

2009-08-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we use food as a way to beat ourselves up, especially when we’re dieting. Food, and our thoughts around food, can be a way for us to punish ourselves and to keep ourselves deprived of what we really want. When we’re dieting, it becomes easy for us to think of food in terms of “good” and “bad,” or “should” and “should not.” We think we “should” eat carrots sticks and celery and cauliflower, or we think we “should not” eat chocolate or potato chips or butter. We think we can’t trust ourselves around food. We think that if we have one potato chip, then we will most certainly eat the whole bag. We think if we have one brownie, then in an hour the whole pan will be gone. We believe that having one spoonful of ice cream will lead to the disappearance of the entire carton.

For the first 45 years of my life, I looked at food as something that controlled me. If food was around and available, I would eat it. And it wouldn’t even really matter what what kind of food it was, or if I even really liked it. I grew up thinking I had no “will power” around food. I grew up thinking that I had no “self control” around food. I grew up thinking that if food was there, I had no choice but to eat it.

In releasing weight through pleasure, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that I can give myself permission to eat foods that I enjoy, foods that truly bring me pleasure, to eat foods that taste delicious to me--and still release and maintain weight! I’ve discovered that the more I consider what brings me deep pleasure, the more particular I am in what I put in my mouth. And much to my surprise, not all foods are created equal.

When I began to think in terms of pleasure, when I began to consider questions like “What will bring me the most pleasure?” I began to realize that I really like fresh fruit more than cold pizza. I discovered that I like rich dark chocolate more than candy bars. I realized that a fresh, delicious salad would bring me more pleasure than a bag of Doritos from the vending machine. And I began to eat what I loved. And surprisingly, as I began to eat only foods that tasted exquisitely delicious to me, I began to realize that I, in fact, did have more power over food than I thought. I realized that I, indeed, have many choices, many options, and when I choose the one that will bring the the most pleasure, I’m less likely to find myself bingeing (and then suffering the inevitable guilt).

If you feel powerless around food, if you feel like you have no control and no will power when it comes to what you put in your mouth, here’s a challenge.

For the next seven days, eat only foods that you love and adore.

Don’t compromise. Don’t settle. Don’t give in just because it’s there.

If you’re faced with food that you don’t love and adore, don’t eat it!

Eat only foods that bring you pleasure.

Next up: “Exercise Is Such a Drag!”

The Power of Curiosity

2009-08-25T15:00:00.001-07:00

Being curious about life is more fun than feeling than feeling overwhelmed by the “should’s” in life.

When I set the intention to release weight several years ago, I was very curious about how my life would change. I began to wonder.

“I wonder what will happen when I get in really great shape.”

“I wonder how my life will be different when I release this weight.”

“I’m curious about how I’ll feel when I start moving my body regularly.”

“I wonder what will really happen to my life when my body weight is in a healthy range.”

“I’m curious to see how eating well will make me feel.”

Being open to curiosity and wonder was a new way of thinking about my life and my body. The more curious I became about the whole weight release process, the more fun I had on the journey. I began to really take great pleasure in food rather than mindlessly putting food in my mouth. I began to be very aware of my senses during my my daily walks. I began to enjoy a heightened sense of energy and a more positive view of my life as I explored my sense of curiosity and wonderment. The more I wondered about what would happen when I released weight, the more weight I released.

If you feel like you might like to lose a few pounds but are stuck, or if you feel like you “ought” to lose weight or “should” eat more healthfully, but just can’t seem to motivate yourself, try thinking about your body and weight loss goals in terms of “I’m curious about. . . .” or “I wonder what will happen when. . . .”

Sometimes a gentle shift in our thinking is all it takes to create an amazing life!

Up Next: Eat What You Love

Emotional Eating

2009-08-20T09:47:00.001-07:00

A little child is riding her bike.

She falls off.

She skins her knee.

She comes running in the house, crying for her mother.

“Mommy! Mommy! I hurt my knee!”

“Oh, honey,” her mother replies. “I’m sorry. Here, darling. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Her mother washes off her knee and puts a Mickey Mouse bandage on it.

The tears stop.

“Here we are, sweetie.” She gives her daughter a hug. “Have a cookie. It’ll make you feel better.”

We learn, very early on, to connect food with feeling. We believe, from a very early age, that food can assuage pain. We learn that food can comfort us when we’re scared, soothe us when we’re anxious, cheer us up when we’re blue, and make us happy when we’re sad. But can it, really?

Is it really the cookie that makes a little girl stop crying, or is it the love of her mother?

Is it really food that gives us comfort, or is it the sympathetic ear of a friend?

Is it really food that soothes us, or is it a gentle hug from a spouse?

Is it really food that cheers us up when we’re blue, or is it a matter of changing our perspective?

Is it really food that makes us happy, or is it simply being heard and understood by someone who cares?

So many times, throughout my life, I looked to food for emotional satisfaction. I looked to food for happiness, comfort, joy, celebration, stress-relief, etc. Every emotion I had, good or bad, positive or negative, high or low, I used food to manage through it.

Then I heard someone talk about going to the hardware store for milk, which is what I had been doing most of my adult life. I had been looking at food for something it couldn’t ever give me. I had been going to the hardware store for milk.

Today, I continually ask myself, “Am physically hungry or emotionally hungry?” If I’m physically hungry, I eat. And I pay close attention to my feelings of fullness and satisfaction. And most of the time, I stop when I’m full. However, if I’m emotionally hungry, I know that no amount of food on the planet will ever, ever be enough.

Up Next: The Power of Curiosity

Why I Love to Run

2009-08-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

When I started running, at age 47, a little over 14 months ago, I had no idea the journey it would start me on.

At that point, I had already released about 20 pounds and I really wanted to get in the best shape of my life.

I didn’t know that running was going to be an integral part of that, but I did know that if this was going to become a reality, I’d have to move my butt.

And so move my butt I did. Little by little.

I remember joining the “Very Beginning Two Milers” group in my beginning running class. I was a rookie, novice, rank beginner--and I freely admit my ignorance related to anything athletic. On that first night, we ran for 30 seconds, walked for 30 seconds, and did that for 20 minutes. And at the end of those 20 minutes, I thought, “I can do this!”

And today, every time I head out the door for a run, I think, “I can do this!”

I love to run because running is very simple. I am by nature a non-athlete. I freely admit I have little natural physical coordination. But running requires little physical coordination other than putting one foot in front of the other. And to me, it feels natural.

I love to run because it makes me happy.

I love to run because it’s a great stress-reliever.

I love to run because running gives me time to think, problem-solve, strategize, and work things out in my head.

I love to run because of the feeling of pride, satisfaction, and accomplishment I have when I get back.

I love to run because I know my body thanks me every time I successfully reach the top of a hill.

I love to run because I’ve met some awesome people through though this sport.

I love to run because I’ve gotten some cool free running shirts from various running groups I’ve been in. I love free stuff!

I love to run because I’ve learned a lot about my muscles, bones, tennis balls (great for hamstring massage), rest, hydration, rolling pins, ligaments, Body Glide, rest, tendons, food, wicking fabrics, rest, protein, massage, ice, sports bras, cold soaks, carbohydrates, rest. . .

I love to run because I have learned a great deal about the power of my mind and the power of visualizing what I want. A running friend said a couple of weeks ago, “Running is 99 percent mental.”

I love to run because I occasionally get a runner’s high, and those endorphins bring me a lot of pleasure!

I love to run because running teaches me patience.

I love to run because running teaches me pacing.

I love to run because running is metaphor for life.

I love to run because it’s fun!

What do you do because it’s fun?

Up Next: Emotional Eating

When Your Body Doesn't Feel Lovable

2009-08-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

It’s hard.

Sometimes we think our bodies have betrayed us, and that we’re at their mercy. Sometimes we see nothing good, valuable, worthy, or beautiful when we look in the mirror. Sometimes all we see is fat, wrinkles, gray hair, pores, cellulite, love handles, saggy this, flabby that.

Sometimes we simply just don’t approve of our bodies. And if we take that idea one step further, I believe that in not approving of our bodies, we are also not approving of ourselves at the deepest level.

And here’s the rub.

We’re not taught how to approve of ourselves or our bodies. There aren’t a lot of role models today that show us how to adore our physical selves. There’s no course in school or specialized training we can take that will teach us how to value our bodies. Instead, we become proficient at demeaning, criticizing, and complaining about our bodies. And what is disturbing about this trend is that we pass on these ideas to our daughters. In a conversation with a friend the other day, she described her niece, age nine, who is beginning to look in the mirror and talk about how fat she is and how she should go on a diet. Unless we, as adults, consciously and intentionally shift our view of our bodies--today--right now--in this moment, this trend of self loathing will impact future generations.

But here’s the good news.

It is possible to shift your view of your body from one of self-loathing to one of self-love. It is possible to transform your critical thoughts into thoughts that support you. It is possible to love what you see in the mirror, no matter what you weigh, how many gray hairs you may have, or how out of shape you may feel. It is possible to approve of everything about your physical self, from cellulite to love handles to thighs.

It begins with a willingness to change what you say to yourself. It begins with a willingness to choose approval over disapproval. It beings with a willingness to see yourself as a beautiful creature worthy of adoration.

Marianne Williamson wrote a letter to Oprah Winfrey 17 years ago about this very idea, “In order to lose weight on a permanent basis, you want a shift in the belief about who and what you are.”

Are you willing to shift your belief about who and what you are?

Up Next: Why I Love to Run

How to Be Kind to Your Inner Fat Girl

2009-08-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

I think many women have an Inner Fat Girl.

I know I do.

She shows up when I feel stressed. She shows up when I feel frustrated. She shows up when I feel tired. She shows up when I feel scattered. Basically, she makes her presence known when I feel any kind of negative feeling. And she likes to eat. A lot. In fact, I might call her a binge eater.

But as I have discovered over the years, what my Inner Fat Girl really wants has nothing to do with food. What my Inner Fat Girl wants is attention, love, comfort, understanding, patience, and compassion. And she mistakenly thinks that by eating, she will gain those things. However, those are desires that cannot be met by any kind or any amount of food.

And so, when my Inner Fat Girl shows up, I immediately take that as a sign that I need to be kinder to myself. When my Inner Fat Girl starts screaming for New York Super Fudge Chunk Sundae ice cream, I know that there’s something else going on besides physical hunger. My Inner Fat Girl clearly and distinctly points me in the direction of emotional hunger. And food can never satisfy emotional hunger.

So, if your Inner Fat Girl is emotionally hungry, what are some things that you can do that can satisfy her?

First, acknowledge that food isn’t what she really wants. She may think she wants it, but a binge really won’t help her feel better in the long run. She’ll still feel all the negative feelings she had before the binge--and she’ll be dealing with the added guilt and frustration of having just binged!

Second, ask her what will bring her the most pleasure. Perhaps she just needs to take a couple of deep, full, slow belly breaths. Or maybe she needs to blow off some steam by going for a vigorous walk. May she needs a candle lit bubble bath. Maybe she needs to call a friend, or write in a journal, or do something with her hands.

Third, love her. Because that’s what she really wants.

Up Next: How to Love Your Body When It Doesn’t Feel Very Lovable

Reinvent Yourself For Fall

2009-08-16T20:29:00.001-07:00

Even though it’s the middle of August, I can feel the season changing. The number if daylight hours is diminishing, and I’m noticing that a few trees have begun to shed their leaves.

For those of us who, like the trees, might like to shed a few pounds between now and the holidays, here are a few tips.

1. Eat only foods you love. The quickest way to gain weight is to go on a diet. Abandon your belief in the diet myth, and eat foods that bring you pleasure.
2.Pay attention to your thoughts. The quickest way to gain weight is to tell yourself, “I’m so fat,” or “I ate like a pig,” or “I can’t believe my pants are fitting tight again!” Abandon those negative voices in your head, and instead relish and acknowledge your magnificence.
3.Focus on what you want. The quickest way to gain weight is to focus on how fat you are. Instead of affirming what you don’t want (see Tip No. 2), affirm what you do want.
4.Celebrate yourself. The quickest way to gain weight is to feel like depressed about your life. Look for reasons to applaud your accomplishments, whether it is as simple as choosing to eat an apple, or as significant as spending an hour with a personal trainer. Everything you do that moves you toward your desired outcome deserves celebration!
5.Express gratitude. The quickest way to gain weight is to ignore your body. Be grateful for everything about your fine self. When you were a baby, everything about your body fascinated you. Rediscover that fascination by taking time to be grateful to your body for everything it has done for you.

By following these simple tips, you can go a long way in reinventing yourself during the upcoming autumn season. Who knows where you may be by the holidays?

Up Next: How to Be Kind to Your Inner Fat Girl

The Power of Visualization

2009-08-15T17:28:00.000-07:00

Leveraging the power of our minds is one of the most pivotal things we can do as we release weight through pleasure. While we may be all too familiar with diets, diet pills, diet shakes, cleanses, exercising, low carbs, low fat, good foods, bad foods, in-between foods, fast food, health food, and even radical surgical procedures, in many cases we are missing one key element. And that key element is visualization.

In the late 1980s, I gained some weight, didn’t like how my clothes were fitting, and promptly resolved to lose that weight. And lose weight I did. Temporarily. But within three years, I had gained it back--and then some. A decade later, it happened again. Only this time the number of pounds I re-gained doubled. So again, I endeavored to lose weight. And again, I succeeded, temporarily.

However, even when I reached my goal weight, I still saw myself as fat. Even though I was lighter than I had been in many, many years, I still saw myself as obese. Even though I was wearing clothes in a size I was quite happy with, every time I saw a photo of myself or caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I saw myself as heavy. Even though, to the outside world I was thin, I still perceived myself as fat. And you have one guess as to what happened. Within a couple of years, I became fat--again. I could temporarily change my external behavior by eating less and moving more, but my internal progress was zilch. In my first two attempts at losing weight, I neglected the most important part of the journey. I neglected the internal work. I neglected to transform my view of myself and what I deserved.

At the end of each issue of O, the Oprah Magazine, Oprah Winfrey writes a column called, “What I Know for Sure.” Here’s what I know for sure about weight loss: In order to release weight from your body for good, you need to be willing to change your view of yourself and your body.

You need to be willing to replace negative beliefs about yourself with positive beliefs. You need to be willing pay close attention to your thoughts about your body. And you need to be willing visualize yourself in your healthier body before you have released that first ounce of fat.

“But Kristin, it’s been decades since my body’s weight has been in a healthful range,” you might say. “I have no clue about ‘visualizing’ myself at my ideal weight, because, in all honesty, I can’t ever remember being at my ideal weight. How can I visualize something that I’ve never experienced?”

Here are a few tricks that might help you get started down the road to changing your view of yourself and your body.

1. Recognize the truth. The truth is, no matter what you weigh today, you are beautiful.
2.Tell yourself the truth. Every time you look at yourself in the mirror, find something about your physical body you like, and praise it. Say it out loud. Even though you might feel silly doing so, do it!

If you can recognize the truth of your beauty and if you can acknowledge it to yourself verbally, you will notice that your relationship with your body will improve, that your body will gradually become more and more beautiful, and your weight will diminish. Because you see your body as beautiful, you may find yourself eating more fruits and vegetables. Because you see your body as beautiful, you may find yourself wanting to move it a little bit more. Nutrition and activity are important. But the crux of the matter is seeing yourself--visualizing yourself--as beautiful.

Up Next: Reinvent Yourself for Fall

What Do You Really Want?

2009-08-13T11:17:00.000-07:00

This is a question that I come back to, time and time and time again.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about ice cream, particularly anything from Dairy Queen with hot fudge on it.

The last time I remember being at Dairy Queen was about 20 years ago with a couple of friends, when we used DQ as a reward for being successful on our diet.

The menu item of choice for me, 20 years ago, was a Peanut Buster Parfait, and I remember purchasing it, eating it, and really, really enjoying it.

So last week, I asked myself, “What do you really, really want?” I had been planning on going for a long run in the evening, but the temperature and humidity never dropped enough for me to feel safe (I’m not a big fan of heat stroke), and so instead of my long run, I decided to do some research into Dairy Queen, Peanut Buster Parfaits, chocolate, ice cream, pleasure, and my desires.

At 7 pm in the evening, the time I had originally planned to run 8 miles, I instead headed out the door to my local Dairy Queen. I walked in, confirmed with young man at the register that DQ does, in fact, still make Peanut Buster Parfaits.

I ordered one, and began to eat it.

And as I was eating it, I also analyzed it--and my response to it. Was it as good as I remembered? Did I like the chocolate? Were the peanuts fresh and salty? Was the ice cream delicious and satisfying?

And about three bites into it, I made some important discoveries into what brings me pleasure. First and foremost, I discovered that I like really excellent chocolate. Dark, musky, deep chocolate. And lots and lots of it. While the DQ hot fudge was delicious, it wasn’t quite what I had in mind--nor was there enough of it to suit me. And while the peanuts added a certain crunchy goodness to the confection, I discovered that I would have preferred saltier, “roastier” (I know it’s not a word!) nuts. And while contemplating the ice cream, and I realized that, while soft serve certainly does have its fine points, what I really like is hard, cold ice cream with a high fat content!

My little research trip to Dairy Queen a few days ago taught me a few things about loving myself and my body. It taught me that my tastes have changed over the decades. It taught me that I still love ice cream but prefer a different kind. It taught me that I still adore chocolate but require darker, richer fudge. It taught me that I like really salty, deeply roasted peanuts. And it taught me that I like lots and lots of fat in my ice cream.

If you were going to do a little research into what makes you happy, what you really want, and what brings you pleasure, what would you research? I’d love to hear yourresults!

E-mail me at nannerl123@yahoo.com.

Up Next: The Power of Visualization

Internal Conflict, or How to Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

2009-08-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

You see the donut. It’s your favorite kind. It’s calling your name. It wants you to eat it. And you want to be the one to eat it. Your mouth starts to water as you imagine the delightfully crispy outside and the tender and delicious inside.

You know you shouldn’t, and so you start to turn around and walk away. But the image of the donut stays with you, like that last tune you heard on the radio you can’t get out of your head. And of course, the more more you think about not eating that donut, the more you want it. And the more you want it, the more necessary it becomes to your happiness. So you throw up your hands, say “I don’t have any willpower,” and turn around, go back, get it, and eat it. But you don’t really eat it. You stuff it in your mouth quickly, wash it down with coffee, hope no one saw you eat it, and then you head back to whatever you were doing.

But the story doesn’t end there. At this point, you start to berate yourself and belittle yourself and demean yourself and your willpower and your intelligence and your worth as a human being. You might even compare yourself to livestock or barnyard animals. As you punish yourself for going off your diet, you head back to the break room to see if there are any more donuts left.

Sometimes I think it isn’t the food that makes us fat. Sometimes I think it’s what we say to ourselvesafter we eat something. Sometimes I think it’s the self-chastisement and self-punishment that propels us to gain more weight rather than a simple calories in/calories out formula.

If you find yourself struggling with donuts (or French fries or candy bars or ice cream), here are a couple of things to consider.

First, take great pleasure in whatever it is you’re eating. Eat it with delight, and really savor it. Close your eyes and taste it. Smell it. Feel it. Listen to the sounds it makes as you chew it. Make your own sounds while you’re eating it! Really squeeze as much joy and delight and pleasure out of it as you can. If you need to sit down, sit. If you need to describe its flavor to someone, describe. If you need to eat it really, really slowly to mine it for all the satisfaction it can give you, eat it really, really slowly. But enjoy it.

And second, after you eat what you truly and deeply desire, celebrate that you met your needs. “That tasted so good--it was just what I wanted” is a great alternative to “Man, I blew my diet again.” “I love dark chocolate” is a much more pleasurable thought than “I bet the scale is gonna go up this week.”

Allow yourself to enjoy what you truly and deeply desire. And then celebrate that you were kind enough to yourself to honor your needs!

The answer to internal conflict around food? Kindness lavished upon yourself!

Up Next: What Do You Really Want?

Joy in Movement

2009-08-06T21:02:00.002-07:00

Let’s just say that there really was not much joy in moving my body 45 pounds ago. In fact, moving my body was utter torture. It was a difficult endeavor, and I usually sought out ways to avoid moving--like taking the elevator rather than the stairs, or asking people to bring me things rather than getting them myself. If I dropped something on the floor, it was not always easy to bend over and pick it up. Nor was it always easy to lace up a pair of shoes. There were just certain things about moving my body that were uncomfortable and unpleasant.

I was stuck.

But not only was I stuck physically behind 45 pounds of weight that did not serve me, I was stuck mentally behind years and years and years of negative self-talk and negative beliefs about my body and my life.

Like a stagnant pond, there was no movement in my life, either physically or mentally. I was becoming, in a way, stale, dead, immobilized, lifeless.

But there was a part of me that knew, intuitively, that there had to be another way of living, of thinking, of being, of moving. And so I started to move my thoughts. I became hyper-aware of what I said to myself--the words I sued to describe myself and my body--and I worked on a conscious and intentional level to treat myself with kindness and compassion. As I began to replace the “I’m so fat” thoughts with the “I’m really cute” thoughts, my behavior began to change as well. One of my intentions was to get in the best shape of my life, and I knew that, in addition to eating really well and thinking really kind thoughts about my body, I was going to have to actually move my body, too. And I knew I was going to have to figure out a way to make moving joyful and fun.

I still remember my decision to take that first walk. It was not an easy decision. It was a decision that I resisted and struggled with. But I knew that if I was going to truly and deeply love all of me, I was going to have to find a way to give my body what it truly and deeply wanted, and what my body truly and deeply wanted was to move.

So I took a break at work. I got out of my chair, put on my jacket, and headed out the door. I walked for 15 minutes in one direction, turned around, and walked back. There was a part of me that didn’t want to be seen. There was a part of me that was embarrassed (“What would people think of me?”). There was a part of me that didn’t want to sweat. But there was a bigger part of me that enjoyed walking through a neighborhood that I rarely saw, even from my car. There was a part of me that enjoyed seeing shops I’d never seen before. There was a part of me that enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment from having done something good for my body.

On that first walk, I found joy in movement. I found pleasure in moving my body. I found delight in sweat.

If you’re like I was, and are totally resisting the idea of moving your physical self, I have a little suggestion. Find a way to infuse moving your body with fun, with pleasure, and with joy!

Up Next: Internal Conflict, or How to Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too!

The Pollyanna Game

2009-08-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

I love Facebook.

One of my favorite things about Facebook is the status lines of my friends. Here is a status line I came across recently: “Pollyanna--the Glad Game--WORKS!”

I was intrigued, and so I asked my friend more about it. She explained that she uses it on her kids when they’re complaining about something: “Find something to be glad about in this situation. Like collecting smiles when you go for a walk!”

And I love that idea.

I looked up “Pollyanna” in one of my dictionaries, and the definition was not particularly flattering: “a foolishly or blindly optimistic person.” I, however, prefer Marianne Williamson’s take on Pollyanna. She writes (I apologize that I can’t remember where I read it) that it takes strength and courage to be a Pollyanna. And I agree. Rather than thinking of Pollyanna as foolish or blindly optimistic, I prefer to think of her as a strong and courageous young woman. It takes strength and courage to find the good in a “bad” situation. It takes strength and courage to find beauty in something that may traditionally be considered ugly. It takes strength and courage to recognize the perfection in something that may be considered imperfect. It takes strength and courage to recognize the greatness in something that may be considered weak. It takes strength, courage, and maybe a little bit of commitment and discipline, to consciously and intentionally shift our mindset from one of focussing on what’s wrong in our life to focussing in what’s right in our life.

So last night, I had an opportunity to play the “Glad Game.”

I had intended to go for a run, but my schedule got slightly screwed up, and so I was unable to go at the time I had planned on. And instead of beating myself up for my imperfect timing, I decided to go for a walk. I walked a few blocks down the road to a beautiful park that is filled with lush and abundant flowers. The foliage is spectacular right now, and while I was there, out of nowhere, a man playing a banjo appeared, strolling through the gardens, strumming on his instrument. I was enthralled. I wanted to be his groupie. Here was a reason to be glad!

Later, as I was walking through the gorgeous flora and fauna, I saw something that I’d never seen before: several hummingbird moths sipping nectar from various flowers with their long tongue. I was mesmerized by the action of their wings, their tongue, and their intense focus on finding the perfect flower. I probably could have stayed there for an hour, enchanted by their quiet buzzing and focussed attention. The hummingbird moths made me happy. It was another reason to be glad!

I prefer to think of Pollyanna, not as blindly or foolishly optimistic, but instead, as a courageous and strong realist who can see the truth and goodness in any situation.

And I can’t wait to see where the Glad Game takes me today!

Up Next: Joy in Movement

Gratitude Revisited

2009-08-04T16:51:00.000-07:00

I remember when I first started thinking about gratitude. It was back in the 1990s, and Sarah Ban Breathnach was being interviewed on The Oprah Winfrey Show. She and Oprah were talking about gratitude, gratitude journals, and the like.

“Sure,” I thought. “That sounds fine for people who have nothing better to do. It’s probably a wonderful idea, but I seriously don’t have time for it.” I was working on a doctorate at the time, teaching classes at a couple of local universities, and feeling stressed out, overworked, overwhelmed, and generally tired.

Fast forward to 2007. An unhealthy relationship had ended. I’d finished the degree, and I found myself taking a personal development course. One of the assignments given by the facilitator of this course was to create a list of 300 gratitudes.

300!

Of course, because I was investing a lot of money, time, and energy in this workshop, I decided, “Fine. If that’s the assignment, I’m darn well gonna do it.”

And so, as I was sitting in La Guardia in April, 2007, I started compiling my list of 300 things to be grateful for. I numbered several pages in a journal from 1 to 300, and I began listing things. And the longer my list became, the more relaxed I felt.

And then a miracle happened.

I was in the Milwaukee airport, up to “Gratitude 169” I was given free air fare! FREE! Out of nowhere I was suddenly the proud owner of a voucher good for a free round trip ticket to anywhere in the continental United States. “Gratitude 169” convinced me that this gratitude thing really works, and I got totally serious about it.

I began a morning routine of drinking coffee and writing out things I am grateful for.

That routine morphed into an evening ritual of writing out gratitudes before I go to sleep.

Then I decided to incorporate gratitude not just into my mornings and evenings, but into my days as well, and now I carry an “On the Go” gratitude journal in my purse. When I find myself with a few moments, wherever I am, I take out that little journal and write down what I’m grateful for in that moment.

And as I was relishing the idea of gratitude in my life, I started becoming enormously grateful for my body. Even though I was, at the time, heavier than was healthy for my height, I started thinking about being grateful for being able to walk up the stairs to my apartment. I started begin grateful for being able to hear the cry of the peacocks as I walked past the children’s zoo. I began to be grateful that I could see the clear blue summer sky. I began to be grateful that I could touch the soft fur of my black and white cat.

Being grateful for being able to experience these small pleasures through my physical body shifted my thinking and my energy. Because I was so grateful to be blessed with this precious human body, I began to treat it a little better. Because I was grateful for being, overall, pretty healthy, I started to eat a few more fruits and vegetables and drink a little more water. Because I was grateful for being able to move with relative ease, I started moving a little bit more. Because I was grateful for being alive, I started to enjoy my life just a little bit more!

Gratitude has become a key component to my life. Gratitude was a key component in my releasing weight through pleasure. And gratitude is a key component to maintaining a healthful weight.

Are you up for a challenge?

I challenge you to make your own Gratitude List.

Right now.

Take out a pen and a pad or journal.

Number from 1 to 300.

Start listing things you’re grateful for.

And let me know what happens! E-mail me at nannerl123@yahoo.com.

Up Next: The Pollyanna Game

Can Being Happy Make You Thin?

2009-08-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

A man's life are what his thoughts make of it.

--Marcus Aurelius.

Before we consider the answer to this question, let’s look at this question from the opposite angle: “Can being sad make you fat?”

From personal experience, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that negative emotions walk hand in hand with eating. I learned, at a very early age, to use sugar, salt, and fat to deal with my feelings. Food was super-convenient. If I felt stressed about something in my life, food was a reliable companion. It didn’t question me, argue with me, or invalidate me. If I felt angry about something in my life, food was a way to zone out and numb myself from the uncomfortable feelings I was having. If I was tired after putting in a 12-hour day, I counted on food to be there for me. It always was. And of course, the more intense my negative feelings, the more I ate. And the more I ate, the more weight I gained. And the more weight I gained, the sadder I felt. And the sadder I felt, the more I ate. And the more I ate. . . well, you get the picture.

So, if it is true that being sad can make you fat, can being happy make you thin? I believe the answer to that question is “Yes,” as well. I believe that when we focus on happiness (or pleasure, joy, satisfaction, fulfillment, and fun), we have less of a need to medicate ourselves through food. As I feel happier in my life, food becomes a less-important way to generate happy, positive feelings. As I focus on creating situations that bring me emotional satisfaction, food begin to play a less-integral role in my emotional well-being. As I look for ways to experience pleasure and joy in my life without food, food becomes more like fuel and less like love.

If you feel that being sad can make you fat, and that being happy can make you thin (it’s simplistic, I know), consider focusing on happiness. Create a list of things that bring you joy that have nothing to do with food. And refer to that list often. Post it on your refrigerator door, or your bathroom mirror, or by your computer at work. Recognize and celebrate every positive, fun, happy, and joyful thing that happens to you during the day. Celebrate every beautiful thing you encounter, whether it is a quick smile from somebody you pass on the street or feeling a dog’s tongue on your cheek or hearing a baby giggle with glee. The more you celebrate and recognize happiness, the happiness you will have to share with the world. And as you celebrate and recognize happiness, you may find yourself becoming happier. And thinner.

What makes you happy?

Up Next: Gratitude Revisited

Ten Tips for Weight Loss Success

2009-08-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, a friend asked me for tips on losing weight. Having released almost 50 pounds of unnecessary weight from my body during the past couple of years, I’ve learned to. . .

1. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR. This is the big one. In fact, it’s the biggest one. If I could only get only one point across to people, it would be this: speak kindly to yourself. What do you say to yourself as you’re looking at yourself in a bathroom mirror as you’re washing your hands? What do you say to yourself when you’re toweling off after a shower? Or if you’re walking down a city street and your reflection in a storefront window, what do you think? What do you think when you’re adjusting your rear view mirror in your car? Are you noticing your flaws, your imperfections, the things about your body you don’t like? And if so, begin today to replace those negative observations with affirmative observations. Affirm what you see in the mirror. Praise what you see in the mirror. Recognize the beauty of what you seen in the mirror.
2. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE A FEW POUNDS AWAY FROM YOUR IDEAL BODY WEIGHT, FIND THINGS ABOUT YOUR BODY TO LOVE--TODAY. I know from personal experience that this is not easy. Finding beauty in my body when it was 45 pounds above its healthful weight did not come naturally. Seeing my overweight body as gorgeous required quite a bit of effort on my part. It required energy and discipline and lots and lots of practice. And it didn’t feel natural or easy at first. It felt like I was lying to myself. But here’s the funny thing that happened. The more I noticed my great hair or my awesome curves or my spectacular laugh or my strong calves--the more I acknowledged the beauty in my overweight body, the more beauty there was to acknowledge, and the less overweight it became.
3.KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. There’s probably just a part of you that is resisting what you know you should do. Discover what you’re resisting, and then find a way to make it fun. For me, I had the biggest block around exercise. I hated it for many reasons, which I won’t bore you with here. However, I knew that, in order to get what I really, really wanted (to be in the best shape of my life), I knew I would have to get my fine rear out of the chair and move it in some way, shape, or form. I knew that exercise was going to be a crucial component to releasing weight through pleasure, and so I decided to search for ways to make moving my body fun. It wasn’t fun in the beginning. But after a few months, it became fun!
4. REGARD YOUR BODY AS PRECIOUS. This seems to be a theme of the major religious traditions of the world, and yet, given the tremendous increase in obesity (and obesity-related diseases) over the past few decades, it’s a theme that is not effectively implemented in people’s lives. There aren’t a lot of classes or workshops or degrees in “how to regard your body as precious.” Learning to love our physical bodies is not something we’re taught in church or in school. However, learning to love our physical bodies can become one of the most important lessons of our lives. Developing a healthy, loving relationship with our flesh can create a foundation, platform, and springboard for healthy, loving relationships with all aspects of our lives.
5. ENJOY YOUR PHYSICAL SENSES. Take pleasure in each of your five senses every day. Use your sense of touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smelling to experience beauty and fulfillment and satisfaction.
6. BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR BODY. Live in a state of gratitude for your physical self. Consider all the wonderful things that you’ve accomplished with your body. And if you want extra credit? Create a gratitude list for the part of your body you have the hardest time accepting. Do you feel like your thighs resemble tree trunks? Consider how their strength has served you over the years. Do you feel like your bottom is too big? Consider the pleasure of having a curvy body. Do you feel like your hair is too gray (or too curly or too straight or to thin or too thick or too this or to that)? Consider being grateful for that your hair has protected your scalp and kept your head warm over the years.
7.PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY. Listen to it. Your body is always talking to you, but sometimes we don’t pay it the attention it deserves. Is it tired? Let it rest. Is it overworked? Give it a break. Is it physically hungry? Feed it food that it really enjoys. Is it emotionally hungry? Nourish its spirit. Is it stressed? Breathe deeply. Is it bored? Find pleasure in the now. Is it in pain? Touch it with love and kindness.
8. ONLY EAT FOODS YOU LIKE. Life is too short to deprive yourself of foods you love. Geneen Roth wrote something to the effect of, “For every diet, there is an equal and opposite binge.” If there are foods that you continually deprive yourself of, eventually you will find yourself eating those foods--in large quantities! However, if we allow ourselves to eat the foods that we truly enjoy and that truly bring us pleasure, then no foods are off limits. We can eat what we want (because we’re paying attention to our wants and our hunger levels). We can truly enjoy what we’re eating, and stop when we feel full. For many of us, this can be challenge. But just trusting ourselves to eat what we want and stop when we’ve had enough can be reason to celebrate!
9.PAY ATTENTION TO PORTION SIZES. This may not be a popular tip in today’s world of king size this and super size that. Pay attention to when you’re hungry. Eat what you’re physically hungry for. And stop eating when you’re full. And remember, distinguish between physical hunger and emotional hunger. If you’re physically hungry, food will fill you up. If you’re emotionally hungry, no amount of food on the planet will satisfy you.
10. KEEP WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TOP OF MIND. Give thoughtful attention to the deepest desires you have for your body, and celebrate everything you do that moves you in the direction of those desires.

Up Next: How Can Getting Happy Make You Thin?

30 Pounds In 30 Days!

2009-08-01T13:02:00.000-07:00

We have all seen the ads, the claims, the promises. Eat this food and you’ll be thin. Drink this drink and you’ll be thin. Take this pill and you’ll be thin. Exercise in this way for this length of time and you’ll be thin. Have this surgery and you’ll be thin.

Our desperation creates fertile ground for our belief in these promises. We want to believe that a pill or a diet or a magical cure will work for us “this time.” We long to be thin because being thin, for many of us, represents so much more than “being thin.” Being thin represents happiness. Being thin represents security. Being thin represents perfection. Being thin represents acceptance. Being thin represents love.

We believe that something outside of ourselves will save us from ourselves. We believe that the next diet plan, or the next diet book, or the diet next pill, or the next surgery will give us the body we long for. And we believe in our hearts that having the body we long for will also give us the life we long for. We believe that, once we are “thin” we will be happy, accepted, and loved. Being “thin” represents so much more than being “thin.” Being thin represents the solution to all the things about ourselves that we don’t like and would like to fix. Being thin represents a salvation to the pain we feel when we’re fat. Being thin represents salvation. Being thin represents heaven on earth.

In looking for the ideal life that will happen to us when we’re thin, we forget about the present. In anticipating a new size, or new clothes, or new measurements, we place all our ability to find pleasure in the future. In addition to giving our power away to a diet, or a pill, or shake, or doctor, we also give our power away to the future. And when our power lies in the future, then we find ourselves living in the present moment with a continuous flow of dissatisfaction, frustration, resentment, anger, and depression. We aren’t happy now, but we know that, when we’re “thin,” we will be happy.

We forget about taking pleasure in the present moment. We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy ourselves, in our bodies, right now. We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy the pleasure of a cool breeze on our skin. We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can enjoy the sounds of a bird warbling. We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can be fully present and alert as we are eating delicious food. We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can find something beautiful to feast our eyes upon. We forget that, no matter what we weigh, we can nourish ourselves in ways other than food.

We don’t have to wait for our weight to diminish before we can enjoy our bodies. We don’t have to wait for our weight to diminish before we can be happy. We can take pleasure in our physical senses today.

Don’t wait until you’re “thin” to love your physical body and allow it to bring you pleasure. Don’t give your power away to the future.

Use your body to experience physical, sensory pleasure today.

Starting now!

Up next: Ten Tips for Weight Loss Success

What They Don't Tell You About Losing Weight

2009-07-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

You’ll still have laundry.

You’ll still have dishes.

You’ll still have a few aches and pains.

You’ll still bad hair days.

You’ll still have diapers and cat litter.

You’ll still have garbage.

You’ll still vacuuming.

You’ll still have closets to clean.

You’ll still have arguments with your spouse or significant other or kids or friends.

When I was fat, I idealized being thin. I thought that, if I could only lose weight, then my life would be perfect. I’d have the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect apartment, the perfect car. I thought that the stars would align. I would be at one with the universe. I’d attain enlightenment.

My thinking was wrong. “If only [you fill in the blank] would happen, then I could be happy,” was the underlying theme of these thoughts. I was waiting to become thin. I thought that, once I was thin, then I really would be happy. But being thin doesn’t make you happy.

For me, it’s more like being happy that makes you thin.

Weird, huh?

Up Next: 30 Pounds in 30 Days!

You can find me at http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com.

Food Is Not the Enemy

2009-07-11T16:24:00.001-07:00

I’ve waged major battles with food.

Kristin versus Ben and Jerry.

Kristin versus Land O’Lakes butter.

Kristin versus The Vending Machine.

For so many years, my predominant way of thinking was that I had no self control. I felt completely powerless over food. If I found myself within 100 feet of food, I’d feel desperate. If food was there, I would have to eat it, whether I liked it or not. For years, I felt that I had no choice in the matter. And during those years, my thoughts began with, “I can’t. . .” or “I don’t. . .” or “I shouldn’t have. . .” or “I should have. . .”

Of course, during those years, my weight fluctuated dramatically--over 200 pounds of body weight was gained and lost and gained and lost in the course of my adult life.

I thought the enemy was food. But it was never food. The enemy was always my perception and my thinking, and the battleground was always in my mind rather than in my refrigerator or on the dinner table.

When I realized that the only way to win the battle was to surrender to truth and to surrender to reality and to surrender to pleasure and to surrender to joy, then my body weight began to change. But it was only by changing my perspective that I was able to change my weight. It was only by choosing to view my body with love and kindness and compassion that I was able to release weight. And it is only by making the daily choice to view my body with gratitude and appreciation that I am able to maintain a healthful weight.

When we surrender to the truth of what is, we can truly be free.

Up Next: What They Don’t Tell You About Losing Weight

Visit me at http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com

Our Bodies Love to Move

2009-07-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

I just returned from spending the evening with a good friend of mine I haven’t seen in several months.

It was wonderful to reconnect with her.

And I noticed that over the past several months, she’s released a lot of weight from her body.

“What have you been doing?” I asked.

“Nothing, really,” she said.

“Have you been exercising?” I pushed.

“No, I’ve just been really happy. And busy,” she replied.

My friend has not been working out with weights or running on a treadmill or doing yoga or pilates or the elliptical machine at the gym. But I have a feeling that she’s been deriving a lot of pleasure from moving her body, because she was happy.

I believe that there is a strong correlation between feelings of well-being and body weight. Maybe the best calorie burner we have yet is the simple state of happiness!

Up Next: Food Is Not the Enemy

And visit my website: http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com

Are You Worth It?

2009-07-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

Do you deserve to be happy?

Do you deserve to love your physical self?

Do you deserve to feel at ease in your body?

Do you deserve to treat yourself well?

Do you deserve to see yourself as beautiful?

Do you deserve to enjoy every aspect of your physical self?

Do you deserve to pay close attention to what pleases you?

Do you deserve to live your life from a place of deliberate and conscious intention?

Do you deserve to consider the far-reaching effects of discovering how precious your human body is?

Do you deserve to eat only food you love?

Do you deserve to pay attention to what you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself?

Do you deserve to change your view of yourself?

Do you deserve to take total responsibility for your capacity to feel pleasure?

Do you deserve to experience beauty through each of your five senses, every day?

Do you deserve to make your own joy, peace, delight, and happiness the number one priority in your life?

Do you deserve to be happy?

Are you worth it?

Up Next: Our Bodies Love to Move!

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Body

2009-07-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

It’s true.

Changing your thoughts about your body may be the most important thing you can do to release weight.

It can also be the most difficult, especially since most of us have been well-schooled in self-deprecation and humility. We can be ruthlessly critical when we see our reflection, for it feels easier and more natural to focus on our flaws rather than on how fabulous we are.

But focussing on our fabulousness is a lot more fun than focussing on our flaws. Someone said, “We move toward what we picture in our minds.” And so if we see the beauty in our physical selves, regardless of our size or shape, that beauty will expand and increase exponentially as we place our attention upon it.

Making the decision to see what is beautiful about our bodies can be difficult. But making single decision can be the catalyst for amazing changes in what you eat, in how much you move, in how you chose to spend your time. . . .

But it first begins with a thought.

Up Next: Are You Worth It?

And pay me a visit at my website! http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com.

Declare Your Independence. . .

2009-07-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

. . . from fear by moving toward love.

. . . from self-doubt by moving toward self-love.

. . . from paralysis by moving toward action.

. . . from invisibility by embracing the beauty that is you.

. . . from busy-ness by moving toward ease.

. . . from depression by moving toward belief.

. . . from dependent thinking by taking responsibility for all that is you.

. . . from boredom by moving toward creativity.

. . . from negativity by recognizing truth.

. . . from deceit by moving toward clarity.

. . . from inactivity by moving your body.

. . . from mindlessness by moving toward mindfulness.

. . . from pain by moving toward pleasure.

Up Next: Change Your Thoughts and Change Your Body

And visit me at my website: http://www.fallinlovewithyourbody.com

How to Treat Your Body as the Precious Gift It Is

2009-07-02T20:34:00.001-07:00

Over the past few years, I’ve become interested in Tibet, Buddhism, and the Dalai Lama. I’m not sure I’d officially label myself a “Buddhist,” but I am attracted to Buddhist philosophy. And one of the tenets of Buddhism is that our human bodies are supremely precious, not unlike the Christian philosophy of viewing our bodies as “temples.”

“If both of these traditions say similar things about the value of our physical bodies,” I started thinking a few years back, “maybe viewing my body as precious might prove beneficial.”

And so, while my body weight was still technically considered “obese,” I began to purposely and intentionally see my overweight body as precious.

What do we do with something or someone we view as precious, highly valued, and loved dearly? How do we treat someone we admire intensely and love passionately? How do we cherish the bodies we are presented with, regardless of their size or shape or the number on the scale?

Here are a few thoughts.

First, lighten up. And I don’t mean lighten up in terms of food or losing weight. What I mean is, “Give yourself a break.” Don’t punish yourself with negative words when you look in the mirror. Begin a daily practice of smiling at yourself in the miror, of winking at yourself. Fitness authority Dr. Joanne Owens-Nauslar says, “You should wake up every morning and say, ‘Good morning, sexy! I hope you never die!’”

Second, take pleasure in your body as it is. Become highly aware of the physical pleasures you can experience, right now, regardless of your size, shape, or weight. Enjoy the sounds you hear. Enjoy the scents you smell. Milk each day for all its worth in terms of delighting your five glorious senses.

Third, cultivate curiosity. As I was transforming my perspective from self-loathing to self-love, I began to be curious. I began to be curious about foods--”How would I feel if I ate a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables?” and “I wonder what would happen if I took a walk during my lunch break?” And the more curious I became, the more the results of my curiosity manifested--in terms of weight release, in terms of a higher level of energy, and in terms seeing myself in a new and different light.

What can you do today to treat your body as the precious gift is is? What can you do to “lighten up” your thoughts? What can you do to delight your senses? And what can you do to cultivate your own sense of curiosity?

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